Blood and Wine
by NightLark
Summary: Sequel to 'Sins of the Mother' I was a queen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long. - Marie Antoinette
1. Preface

_Dear Rebekah_

 _It has been a while since I have written. Paris I believe was the last letter I left? I hope you found it. I hope you found all of my letters. I really have no way of knowing. But I like to believe that my correspondences over these past years have not been in vain. I find it comforting to think of you, following my trail. I suppose these in-depth letters are unnecessary, a note with my name on it would be enough to alert you that I had been there and provide another crumb for you to follow as you try to find us. But I feel that not only is my reassurance necessary, but it normalises this life for me somehow. Even if very little has changed for me in the time that has passed._

 _I remain human and Lucien shows no sign of turning me, which I suppose I should be grateful for. The idea of eternity with him… now that truly is a terrifying thought._

 _We have moved again although we are still in Europe, Italy I believe. I couldn't say where exactly. I am kept inside for the most part, only allowed out when his lordship grants me permission. I miss the feel of the wind on my skin, the warmth of the sunlight. I exist only behind glass and it is maddening to see the world so close but be deprived of the sensations of touch._

 _If only I was so deprived by what is inside the house as I am by what is outside._

 _I still don't know exactly why I am being dragged around by Lucien. He doesn't talk about his intentions. In fact he rarely talks to me at all, except to torment me with his words. I haven't seen him much lately, which I am grateful for. He terrifies me, more than anything else. More even than Klaus. When he does appear, I am at the mercy of his temper. He maintains an air of restraint but I know now that it is calculation. Why wildly lash out in anger when a single, planned strike would do far more damage?_

 _Fortunately, his aggression does not seem to extend to the twins. He doesn't like them, I know that much, but he does not seek them out to harm. I think he views them as an incidental nuisance, a condition of my stay through which he can maintain his control of me. If they get in his way he will not hesitate to hurt them but as long as I keep them at my side and out from under his feet they are safe. I think they make him uncomfortable, Lilah especially. Whenever he enters a room, she will stop what she is doing to stare at him. Frequently this is enough to get him to leave. I would encourage this act but I'm afraid that he may get rid of her with too much provocation._

 _I feel like I'm walking a tightrope and with every day that passes it gets harder and harder not to fall. All I want is to see you and your brothers again. I try to teach the girls to be like their fathers. To be creative, loyal, compassionate and strong. But then I let Lucien do the things he does and I fear that is all they will learn. I do not want him to teach my children to be wicked._

 _I tell them stories, about the Mikaelson siblings. I speak of you as though you were something from a fairy tale. The wolf king of New Orleans, the noble and brave princes. Of course, the loyal princess who is stronger than any knight. They love the stories. I will not let them forget about you, I promise that._

 _I will be strong for them, for you and our family. I will survive as I always have and eventually I will find my way back, that I guarantee. It may take years but I will come home._

 _My other fear is how much they miss as time passes. What should have been their first Christmas, their first birthday… special occasions that should have been shared with the people who loved them… instead we spent Christmas locked in a single room, a single candle for light, desperately trying to keep quiet so as not to draw Lucien's ire. I know that they were too young and that they won't remember it but the more time that passes, the firmer the memories will become. I don't want fear to shape their childhood._

 _It would be easy to lie and tell you that I spend every minute in fear and sorrow for what is and what I have lost but in reality, after a while it becomes far easier not to feel. I have become accustomed to tuning my emotions out. Occasionally, a rare moment will break through my carefully constructed walls. Not all of these are bad either. What astounds me is that a man as monstrous as Lucien is capable of these fleeting moments of kindness. I feel that they are most likely attempts to manipulate me and know that I should raise my guard against them, but I find myself disarmed._

 _One incident sticks in my mind above others. It was the December before last, Christmas Eve in fact. We were in Prague. I had graduated from being locked in one room to having the run of the apartment, but Lucien had kept it undecorated. The girls had crafted a few paper snowflakes that we'd stuck over their beds. They'd enjoyed the activity so much that the next day they asked to make more. I agreed, albeit reluctantly. Lucien hated when they made a mess. I figured that we'd be done before he came home and it would all be okay. But he came earlier than normal. When he walked in the door, we all froze and I expected him to strike out. Instead, he simply looked at our pathetic little paper snowflakes, crooked and misshapen, and got my coat. He took us out to the Christmas market. There were carollers and a large tree and the smell of mulled wine. It felt so right and it was such a beautiful evening that I could almost forget all my problems, just for one night. I don't think Lucien said a word the entire time we were out, not to me at least. Obviously, he didn't leave me alone. He was always there, at most a few feet behind me. I knew that the next day things would go back to exactly the way they had been before but for that night I could play pretend._

 _And even trapped in the apartment the next day, it felt different. The girls got gifts for the first time and if I closed my eyes, I could smell the scent of pine and spices and the sweet sugary smell of Christmas._

 _I don't know what brought on that rare show of kindness. Lucien hasn't displayed it since. In fact, only a few days after that we moved again. I think I know why. I saw, for the briefest moment, the flash of gold in the eyes of one of the market vendors. I know how Lilah draws them in. Maybe it was for the best that we moved before too much time had passed; not all wolves are as friendly as the ones back home._

 _I think I should bring this letter to an end before Lucien returns home. He does not know about the trail of paper I've left across Europe, or at least I don't think he does. He may very well have full knowledge and be waiting for the right moment to use this knowledge against me. That would certainly be in keeping with his character._

 _I love you all. Please, if you find this, remind the boys of that. Don't let them slip into darkness or despair._

 _All my love, forever and always_

 _~Elena._


	2. Chapter I

**A/N: Before I go any further with this story, I need to establish some things. Firstly, this is five years after the end of Sins of the Mother. Since a lot has happened in those five years, I'll be doing flashbacks.**

 **Secondly this story is going to be very very dark. I'm only giving one warning about this. There will be domestic abuse, torture, references to sexual assault and rape at the very least (I've not decided yet how explicit I'm going to be). I will warn at the beginning of chapters when certain topics are going to come up but I have warned you so, please, no angry messages complaining that it's too dark.**

* * *

The hall was beautifully decorated, gold and ivory adorned every surface. Tables lined the floor, surrounding an empty dance floor and raised platform, a podium placed in the centre. A string quartet was off to one side, playing softly, and the sound of music mingled with the sounds of laughter, conversation and the gentle clink of glasses.

I pushed the meat on my plate around with my fork. It was rare and each prod sent blood oozing across my plate. I grimaced, set down the cutlery and reached for my wineglass. A hand reached out and gently grasped mine, preventing me from lifting it.

"I think you've had enough, love." His voice was soft, only audible to me. I looked over and supressed my scowl. "You wouldn't want to get intoxicated… not yet anyway."

I pulled my hand free and turned to my other side, where Blair sat. She smiled sweetly. Her hair was curled and she wore a beautiful dress of deep blue that matched my own. I smiled back and gently touched her cheek. Her smile brightened before turning her attention back to her food. I put my own fork down and leant back in my chair.

Up on the stage, a blonde woman approached the podium and cleared her throat. The noise in the hall died down as everyone turned their attention to her.

"Is everyone having a good evening?" she asked. There was a general noise of affirmation. "It is time for us to welcome our esteemed benefactor to the stage. Please, put your hands together for Mr Lucien Castle."

There was a roar of applause. From my side, Lucien rose and headed up to the stage. I sighed and clapped dutifully as he took the podium.

"It's a pleasure to see you all here tonight, supporting such a great cause as this. It's certainly one that is close to my heart and to see so many faces here ready to pledge, fills me with joy. With your help we can change lives." He laughed softly. "Of course, some of you may be sceptical. After all, words are cheap and it's easy to spew platitudes in the hope of separating you from just a small amount of your money to aid our cause. However I speak to you from the heart. I once had nothing. That may be hard to believe as I stand before you today. But it's true. Since that time I have created my business and grown it to the level it is today. I met and married my beautiful wife, Elena." He gestured to me. A few people turned and smiled in my direction. I forced myself to smile back, quietly wishing I could sink in my chair. "Many of you have already met her as well as our lovely daughter. I am fortunate enough to have my family to help me. Many are not so lucky. And so, I hope that you will all give generously tonight. Together we can turn some lives around. Thank you."

He left the stage to thunderous applause and returned to the seat next to mine. I kept my smile fixed in place as he kissed my cheek.

The music resumed and people headed to the dance floor as they finished their dinner. The blonde woman who'd introduced Lucien came over and sat near me. She smiled brightly.

"This is going wonderfully Lucien."

"I have you to thank for it Elise," he said. "You do know how to throw a fantastic party." She flushed lightly, clearly flattered, before turning to me. "I don't believe we've been formally introduced. Elise Peters." She offered her hand. I shook it.

"Elena. Elena Castle."

"The famous wife. I've been looking forward to meeting you. Your husband speaks very highly of you."

"Well she is a special girl." Lucien chimed in, smirking over the rim of his drink.

"How did you two meet? That's the one story he's not told me."

"We met in New Orleans." I said, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. "He knocked me over"

"That was an accident," he teased. "I was distracted. Can you blame me?"

"Yes. I got bruises." Lucien laughed. The blonde woman, Elise, smiled, clearly charmed by our banter.

"So you left the US to come here?" she asked.

"It took some convincing," Lucien admitted. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Well you were asking me to leave my home, my family and everything I knew for… what?" I couldn't keep the words in, though I knew that I would regret them later.

"For me, love. For me." He touched my hand. Under the table, his other hand rested on my thigh, gripping just a little too tightly to be considered affectionate. I could feel my skin bruising at the touch. I forced a loving smile and looked at him.

"And it has been such an adventure Lucien." He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. His hand retracted from my thigh and I breathed a sigh of relief. I hoped that my attempt at doting would be enough to dissuade him from anything he might have on that nasty little mind of his.

"You two are so perfect together," Elise gushed. Lucien got to his feet.

"All this talk when we could be dancing! Elise, will you save me one?"

"If you want, you can have my first dance Lucien," she said with a flirtatious smile. I grimaced. I was sitting right in front of her.

"As tempting as that offer is, my first dance is reserved for this lovely young lady here." He turned to Blair. "Blair, sweetheart. Come and dance with me?"

She smiled happily and got up, taking his hand as he ushered her onto the dance floor. I watched them until the image became too painful and I turned away. Elise looked over at me.

"She's adorable, Elena. She clearly takes after you."

"Actually, she takes after her father," I said softly. Elise frowned.

"I can't say I see the resemblance."

"Lucien isn't her father. He's still in the US. Lucien… adopted her." Her frown immediately smoothed out and transformed into a look of adoration. I wanted to vomit. I could hear Elise babbling on about how amazing he was and so kind, so considerate. I looked over at Lucien. He was watching me. I picked up my wineglass, lifted it slightly in a silent toast before draining it. I thought I saw something cross his face but I ignored it. I put the glass down on the table.

"Excuse me Elise." I got up and left the table, heading out of the hall towards the bathroom. I counted down under my breath with each step that I took. My hand reached for the door handle and, right on cue, Lucien's hand grasped my wrist. I kept my head down.

"I am just going to the bathroom, Lucien."

"You promised you'd behave yourself tonight love." He ran his fingers along the inside of my wrist, tracing the veins.

"And I have." He brought his other hand to my chin and lifted it so that my eyes were forced to meet his.

"Barely. Now normally I adore you misbehaviour. It is incredibly amusing and really rather endearing to watch. And I had planned to be kind to you tonight. But if you continue with your pathetic attempts to defy me… your evening will get significantly worse."

"I am… just trying to go to the bathroom, Lucien, please take your hands off of me, you are making a scene."

He slowly released my wrist and the hand on my chin moved to gently caress my cheek. He pulled my mouth to his and kissed me hard. I resisted, standing passively, knowing that eventually it would run its course and he would stop. His kiss grew more insistent and I tried to pull away, trapped by his iron grip. I did the only thing I could. I bit him, hard.

He jerked back, a bead of blood forming on his lip. He reached up and gently wiped it away.

"You are so lucky that I like you fiery Elena…" His lip curled into a smirk. "If I were you, I'd save that bite for later tonight."

He brushed past me, returning to the frivolity in the hall. I let myself into the bathroom and went to the mirror. The urge to vomit was even greater now. I locked eyes with myself and took slow steady breathes, forcing the sensation down. A little bit longer. I had done it before, I could do it again.

 _Elena Gilbert. Daughter of Miranda and Grayson Gilbert. Sister of Jeremy Gilbert. Of Rebekah Mikaelson. Of Freya Mikaelson. Of… no, leave it, move on. Niece of Jenna Sommers. Born in Mystic Falls. Queen of New Orleans._

I repeated the phrases in my head, looking at myself in the mirror. These were the facts. I used them to ground myself, locking me in reality.

I waited until I had myself under control. I took one final cleansing breath and fixed a serene smile on my face. I left the bathroom and returned to the hall, taking my seat once more at the table. Blair was running around, getting under everyone's feet. Lucien was dancing with Elise. I ran my fingers over the silverware, considering slipping a knife into my purse and stabbing Lucien while he slept.

Blair ran over to me and clambered into my lap. I stroked her hair gently.

"You alright sweetheart?"

"I'm sleepy mama."

"I know, so am I." I was nearly always tired these days, although a mixture of make-up and vampire blood kept me looking fresh faced. Lucien couldn't allow his wife to have bags under her eyes of course.

"Can we go home soon?" she asked, nestling herself into the crook of my arm. I played with her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Soon. I promise." I looked over to Lucien, hoping to catch his eye so that he might allow us to leave. Luck was on my side for once. He showed no sign of noticing us but within a minute he had released his dance partner and came over.

"Everything alright Elena?"

"Blair is a little sleepy." I had to phrase the next part carefully. I knew he hated when I told him what to do. "Would we be able to take her home soon?"

"Of course love. I just need to say goodbye to a few people and then we'll head home." He kissed my cheek. "Why don't you head out to the car?"

I nodded and carried Blair out through the hall to the front entrance. One of Lucien's security team was immediately at my side. I grimaced but let him escort me to the car. He got the door opened and I slid inside, tucking Blair into the corner.

"Did you have a good time princess?"

"Yes mama!" I smiled slightly and cuddled her close, enjoying this moment of undisturbed closeness. She closed her eyes and yawned, snuggling closer to me.

The car door opened and Lucien climbed inside. I stayed silent, keeping my eyes on the floor. Lucien ignored us, fiddling with his phone. Our driver got in and we began to wind our way along the roads back to the apartment. I kept my eyes on Blair, on the window, on the floor, anywhere but Lucien.

We reached the apartment and went inside. Once Lucien had dismissed his guards for the evening and closed the door, I felt as though all the oxygen had been sucked from the room.

"I'm going to put Blair to bed," I said, slipping out of the room quickly before he could object. I went to her room and changed her into her pyjamas before tucking her into bed. She was already half asleep, but I picked up a book and began to read to her, taking my time in an attempt to stall the inevitable.

As she dozed off, I felt eyes on the back of my neck and the light from the hallway was blocked. I tried to ignore him, focusing on the book. I heard the faint sound of the footsteps on carpet, usually undetectable but that I'd grown accustomed to listening for. He kissed my shoulder softly.

"She's asleep… come to bed Elena…"

"Please Lucien… not tonight?" He played with my hair, skimming his fingers along the curve of my neck.

"Come to bed."

I knew he wouldn't leave me alone and the longer I held out, the worse it would get. I got up and put the book down. I let him lead me out of the bedroom, down to the hall to the room that I shared with him. I supressed a shudder at the sight of the bed. Lucien slipped off his tuxedo jacket and slung it over a chair. I went over to the dressing table and took off my jewellery. My eyes went to the rings on my finger and I felt a wave of nausea rise up inside of me. I tracked Lucien's movements in the mirror. He undressed and came over. He ran a hand down the exposed part of my back to the zip at the top of the dress. He unzipped it slowly, his actions deceivingly tender. I let him push the dress down, exposing me. He turned me sharply in his arms and gently brushed my cheek with the back of his hand.

"Did you have fun tonight, Elena?"

"It was fine…" I said, trying to avoid his gaze.

"Come now, we were doing good work. Raising money, you've got to be proud of that."

"Yeah… what charity was it for? Do you even know?"

"Of course. I am very passionate about… okay you got me. I have no idea what that one was for." He chuckled and pulled back. For a minute I hoped that maybe I'd managed to lighten the situation enough to avoid whatever he had planned. "You looked beautiful tonight. If it weren't for that mouth, I'd say I was proud to have you as my wife." He eyed me and I felt naked underneath his gaze. "I believe I owe you for earlier." His eyes darkened, his fangs sliding out.

I backed away automatically. I'd long ago learned that once Lucien decided to use me as entertainment, that there was really nothing I could do to stop it. He was stronger and faster than me, he had control over me and if I tried to fight back, it only made him more determined, more excited. He advanced on me, reaching out and grabbing hold of my waist, pulling my body flush against his. His fangs sank into my throat and I let out a pained gasp as he fed. I closed my eyes, fighting tears. I tried, I really did, to keep myself numb to him. No tears, no screams. Not ones that he could see.

He released my throat, my blood dripping down his chin, and threw me onto the bed. I buried my face in the pillow, dug my fingers into the mattress and closed my eyes.

I pretended I didn't feel anything. I pretended that it didn't matter. I pretended I was somewhere else, anywhere else but this bed, with this man.

When he had finished, he wrapped his arms around me and closed his eyes. I knew that although my physical torment had finished, my mental torment was far from over. By day I was at his mercy and by night I was at the mercy of my own thoughts, my memories. As I lay there, fighting sleep, twisting the wedding ring around my finger, I despised myself for letting things get this way. I knew it wasn't my fault, really I'd had no choice… but I always felt like I could have done… something. Something to change this, to stop it. Even if, deep down, I knew that really there was nothing.

* * *

 _We came back in from the Christmas market. I took the girls coats and hung them up. Lucien had been in a relatively good mood and I was eager to get them to bed before that mood had a chance to change._

" _Elena." His hands rested on my waist and I jumped, startled by how close he had gotten._

" _Y…yes L…Lucien?" I couldn't keep the stammer out of my voice, no matter how hard I tried._

" _I have an early Christmas present for you."_

" _umm… that's great. Can I put the girls to bed first?"_

" _No, let them stay up. It's Christmas after all." He put his hand on the small of my back and guided me out to the balcony. The girls followed, laughing happily. He looked out at the city and smiled to himself. "It is beautiful here, isn't it?"_

" _Yes…"_

" _We've had some… good times, haven't we Elena?" I stayed silent. "I know you think I'm some despicable monster, but that's not true. Really, I only want thing… a family… like yours."_

" _I… I find that hard to believe…Lucien."_

" _Let me prove it to you." He turned and took my hands. "Marry me Elena?"_

" _I… No… Lucien… no…" I saw his eyes darken and I felt a sense of dread settle in the pit of my stomach. He released my hands and turned away from me._

" _Lilah? Sweetheart, come over here for a minute." She came over, slowly, a little fearful of what might ensue. It broke my heart seeing her afraid. I tried to shield her from him, I really did. He knelt down and smiled at Lilah, holding out a hand to her. She took it shyly. He picked her up in his arms and looked over at me._

" _Please Lucien… she's just a child…"_

" _I know that Elena." He smiled. He moved sharply, swinging Lilah around so that he was holding her over the balcony, dangling her by her arms. She screamed in fear. "She's your child. And of course, you are well within your rights to reject my proposal. But I really think you should reconsider… I think it might be detrimental to little Lilah's health for you to reject me again."_

 _I stared at him in shock and horror. Was this real? It felt like something out of a horrific nightmare. How could he do this? Surely he wasn't that evil… he couldn't be. I opened my mouth to speak but before I could get a word out, he released one of Lilah's arms._

" _Whoops, you better answer fast Elena. I think I'm starting to lose my grip over here." I felt tears in my eyes. There was only one answer though really, wasn't there? Just like when he'd made me leave the Mikaelsons. My life or my children. My children would always come first._

" _I… Yes…. Yes, I will marry you. Just… please don't hurt her!"_


	3. Chapter II

**A/N: So happy by the response to this! However tomorrow I have to make a start on my essay so I can't guarantee an update for a little bit (although I'm the queen of procrastination so you never know.**

 **Warning - this chapter contains self-harm.**

* * *

 _My dearest Rebekah,_

 _I am in Milan at the moment. I say at the moment, we've been here for fifteen months. And really, if you have found this letter, you know where I am. Or where I was. Because it's unlikely that both me and this letter are still in the same place. What I've seen is pleasant enough, although I will admit that it was a very limited amount (as always). I don't know what he hopes to achieve by his tour of Europe. Milan, Rome before that, Prague, Paris, Germany. Sometimes I wonder if our abrupt departures from these places are because you've been pursuing us and have got too close for his comfort. I hope that's the case anyway._

 _Last night I attended a charity function with the twins. It made a pleasant change from the monotony of my day to day life in this apartment. It may be large but there's only so long that you can look at the same walls._

 _I decided to write this after last night because it made me think of you, of you all. Has it really been five years since I last saw you? Time seems distorted, stretched out of shape. Years pass by in minutes but the days stretch out to months._

 _I feel that I am losing touch with myself. I don't even remember the person I used to be anymore. She exists only as some kind of dream, a shadow. Something that is there but separate._

 _It was good to see the girls smile again. I devote myself to trying to find a way to keep them happy, to keep them reminded of who they are. Blair looked beautiful. With each day, the Kol in her becomes clearer and clearer. Lilah was  
_

* * *

My pen faltered on the paper. I sighed and folded the paper. My eyes looked over to the empty bed. I hated lying, even if they never saw the letters, just writing down my lies made me feel bad. I got to my feet and went over to the beds. I tucked the letter under Lilah's mattress and turned to Blair's bed where she slept peacefully, worn out from the evening's activities. I reached over and gently stroked her hair. She mumbled softly and curled up, cuddling her toy cat to her chest. I sat down on Lilah's empty bed and picked up her own toy, the soft plush wolf Kol had given her. I ran my fingers through the matted fur, worn down in places by her hands. Eighteen months…

It was early morning. The sun hadn't risen yet but I'd been unable to sleep any longer. I knew that Lucien preferred me to stay in bed until he woke, ever the dutiful wife, but I felt that it was worth whatever he could dish out just to have these minutes of privacy. I'd been leaving these letters at every place we'd stayed, hoping that they would lead the siblings to me. I had no idea if they worked or not. I didn't even know if they were looking for me.

I kissed Blair's head and reluctantly returned to the bedroom, knowing that it would be better for me in the long run. I carefully pulled back the cover and grimaced at the sight of the sheets, spotted with blood. I slipped under the covers and closed my eyes. Lucien reached out automatically and pulled me close. I wasn't sure if he was asleep, or merely pretending to be. I lay in his arms, watching the sky lighten through the gap.

He tightened his grip slightly and let out a sleepy grumble. He nuzzled my throat and I suppressed a wince as he aggravated the wound on my neck, the dried blood that had formed over the injury cracking and flaking a little.

"Good morning love…" he said with a yawn. "Sleep well?" I made a noncommittal noise. "You're looking a little worse for wear."

He stretched and got up, heading over to the dresser. He picked up a glass and bit his wrist, holding the glass under the flow of blood. I sat up slowly, feeling queasy as I watched the red liquid gather in the bottom of the glass.

"Time for a pick me up?" He held the glass up.

"I'm fine…" I hated this. Every time he hurt me, he would force to drink his blood and heal. I knew he didn't really care how I felt, he just wanted me to look good (and apparently bruises weren't attractive) as well as using it as another way to extend his control over me. With his blood in my system, I was trapped. Even death wouldn't offer me relief from him.

"Elena, it's good for you. Now drink." He pushed the glass into my hand. I looked away. "You know what will happen if you refuse."

I did know. I obediently grasped the glass and downed the contents. Lucien smile.

"Now then, was that so hard?" He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll join you for breakfast in a little while."

He headed through to the ensuite. I got up, slipped on clean underwear and one of the skimpy scraps of lace that he insisted I wear. I wrapped my dressing gown around me and I headed to the kitchen. Most of the time Lucien didn't eat with me. He'd leave early in the morning and return late. This was how I liked it. He employed a number of staff, including his ever present security team, but he didn't have a chef which meant I was free to make and eat what I wanted. I never had much of an appetite but enjoyed having some control over my life, even if it was only a tiny amount. When Lucien ate breakfast with me, it usually meant that he was angry and wanted to torment me, he was feeling extra sadistic and wanted to torment me or that he was going to move us again.

I poured glasses of juice and warmed some croissants in the oven. By the time I was finished setting the table, Lucien had left the shower and dressed. He sat down at the table, looking perfectly at ease.

"Are we moving then?" I asked, coming over and sitting down. There was no point beating around the bush. Lucien raised his eyebrow at my forthrightness. I looked away, taking a croissant and beginning to pick it apart.

"We are, yes. One of my witches came up with a potential lead to solve our little problem."

I grimaced. That was the reason he'd taken me in the first place. He wanted me to give him a little army of vampire children to use for whatever nefarious purposes he had in mind. So far though he'd had no luck in finding the correct spell to enable that. It looked like the New Orleans witches had kept quiet just how I'd managed it the first time.

"Your problem…" I muttered under my breath.

"Did you say something Elena?" he asked.

 _Yes. I said it was your problem. Having children with you is the thing I want the least._

"No, I didn't say anything." I wasn't brave enough or stupid enough to actually say what I wanted. "Where are we going?" I hoped if he told me I'd be able to leave a message for the siblings. Breadcrumbs, but better than nothing.

"England. I have a few contacts there that might be able to help. There's rumour of some witches in Ireland as well who might know what to do. If that doesn't pan out, we'll go to Budapest. I have some… acquaintances there. They have their own witches, who are meant to be incredibly powerful."

"When do we leave?"

"Two days." He smirked. "If you're good in that time, I'll let the puppy out to play with you."

I looked away, biting my tongue to hold in an acidic comment.

"Are you working today?

"I was considering taking the day off."

At his words, I felt the colour drain from my cheeks. I bit my lip, trying to come up with an excuse for why he should go that wouldn't sound like I was trying to get rid of him (which of course I was). I heard a door opening down the hall and the excited scamper of my daughter's feet on carpet. My heart sank. I tried my hardest to restrict the time that Blair and Lucien were near each other. Normally that was easy, he was gone before she got up and I'd hurry her to her bedroom the second I heard his key in the door.

"Morning mama!" she said brightly, clambering into her chair. "Morning Luci!"

We'd run into the natural problem of what Blair would call Lucien. She'd called him daddy once or twice and he seemed to find that mildly amusing. I did my best to drill into her brain that he wasn't her daddy, that her daddy was a prince who lived far away and who would one day come to rescue us. I don't know if she really understood, but she stopped. Luci was a tolerable substitute.

"Good morning princess," I said, manufacturing a smile. I got up and began to assemble her breakfast. I wondered what would happen to her if Lucien got his way. Would he continue to use her as a pawn, parading her around like a prized dog at events? Or would he discard her…?

My thoughts went, as they often did, to the house in New Orleans, to the siblings and my secret hidden beneath the mattress. I tried to banish the thoughts from my head, half fearing that he would see it on my face somehow when I turned around.

I brought over her breakfast and sat down. She dug in and I occupied myself with gathering flakes of pastry on my fingertip.

"Don't play with your food Elena, you'll set a bad example," Lucien said. I glared at him.

"Maybe you should take your own advice…"

I got up and focused on cleaning the already spotless kitchen, so that I could avoid talking to him. I wanted to take a shower and try to purge some of the dirt from my body, but I couldn't leave Blair out here with him, alone. Who knew what he might whisper in her ear?

An arm wrapped around my waist and I was pressed against the counter. He ran his mouth down my throat.

"I always thought you liked my games… maybe I should up the stakes, make you more interested in playing…"

"No… please…"

His hand slid down my waist to grope painfully at my thigh, no doubt leaving bruises.

"You need to learn Elena or that smart mouth of yours will get you in trouble." He nipped my earlobe, his hand rising higher. His phone rang and he pulled back. I slumped over the counter, feeling like everything had been sucked out of me.

"This better be an emergency," he growled into the phone. I quietly worked on the washing up, repeatedly cleaning the same plate as he muttered and snarled at the person on the other end.

 _Please… please… please…_

"It looks like I have to go into work after all," said Lucien, hanging up his phone. "Since apparently everyone I hired is too incompetent to actually do what they're paid to do."

"That's… unfortunate."

"I'll see you tonight." He strode out of the kitchen. I waited, refusing to move from my spot until I heard the sound of the front door. When it came, I let out a sigh of relief. Blair had finished her breakfast, so I sent her to her bedroom to do some colouring while I went to the bathroom. I ran a bath, turning the temperature up as hot as I could. I undressed and sank into the steaming water, hissing softly in pain as it burned my skin. I closed my eyes, trying to singe away every touch, every brush of his fingers, every bite of his fangs.

Five years. Five years since I'd seen the siblings. Five years since I'd smiled with any real emotion. I wasn't sure when my emotions had died but after a while, all I felt was numbness. In a way, that was almost worse. I could feel my body shutting down. I was living, only in the loosest sense of the word.

I reached up and picked up a razor from the shelf. I turned the shiny surface over in my fingers. So much pain I had suffered, that no one knew. So many scars inflicted that were gone the next day. My suffering meant nothing in the end, not to anyone else. If I died in this apartment, or any of the identical ones Lucien owned, the world would keep on spinning.

I guided the blade over the curve of my leg, watching the skin split, the blood flower and spill down my thigh to my ankle. The sting of pain was what I needed. It reminded me that I was here, that I was still alive. I ran my hand over the cut, feeling the distortion on the surface of my flesh. For a moment, I existed again.


	4. Chapter III

_April 25_ _th_ _2012_

It has been a long time since I have felt compelled to write. It has been ten months since Elena was taken from us. Today is the day that the twins would turn one and I find myself desperate for a way to expel these toxic thoughts that circle my head. I have tried to banish my darkness behind the red door where so many of my dark thoughts lurk but I cannot and so I hope that by writing, I may find some semblance of peace, even if it is short lived.

We have spent the past months in desperate search of what we have lost. Initially we all left the city to pursue her but within two months we had returned. Elena's absence has created a power vacuum and without our presence, the city threatens to fall into chaos. I would see the city burn once more if it meant I could hold Elena again. However, Niklaus is adamant that our children have a stable home when they are recovered and so he has insisted on staying. I have stayed with him as I feel that without my moderation, he may act in a manner that would only hamper our attempts to return Elena home. Freya has joined us, to allow us to pass on any information we gain and to draw on the magical knowledge of the city in order to find something that may be of use to us. The others have continued the search and are pursuing Lucien. We have made use of every resource we have at our disposal. The witches of the quarter are reluctant to aid us, given their hatred for our kind, but have agreed given Elena's status. However, there is very little they can do. He has cloaked Elena and the twins, though Freya persistently performs her location spell in the hopes that Lucien may neglect to do it one day. We have sent out a message through our network that we are in search of a human by the name of Elena Gilbert, however we have not stated why. If people knew of our relationship with her, it might place her in more harm. There have been a few reports from low level vampires, eager to gain favour with our family and all of them help to get us one step closer to finding her. With a person such as Lucien, it is impossible for him to completely disappear. We have been able to track him to an extent, unfortunately we are often too late. Whenever we manage to find him and reach his location, he has usually fled and there is no sign of where he has gone.

Many people might expect us to give up. At this point, were she any normal human, it would be natural to assume that Lucien would have ended her life. Yet I know that he would not have gone to this level of trouble to simply end her. Besides, Elena is intelligent and resilient enough to ensure her own survival. I believe that if she was dead, I would feel it.

If I am honest, my greatest fear is not that we will not find her or that Lucien will kill her. I fear the condition she will be in when we find her. She has been through so much for one so young. The mind can only take so much before it will be broken irreparably.

My siblings have felt the same desire that I have for comfort, brought on by the meaning of the day and have ended our separation for a brief period. They returned late last night and we have spent much of the day sitting in a gloomy silence, contemplating the past year.

It is good to see them again, although it is clear that they are suffering just as I am. I feared that Finn would return to his attempt to starve himself, as he did following Elena's supposed death but he threw himself into the search and, according to Kol, has barely taken a moment's rest since they departed the city. I believe that having a goal to strive towards is keeping him motivated and preventing the depression from taking hold of him. Rebekah appears very much her usual self and has expressed, several times, a very vocal desire to disembowel Lucien upon finding him but I can tell that there is much pain in her heart. She is far quieter than she used to be and, since returning home, has spent most of the time at a distance from us. I have attempted to reach out to her but she has shrugged off my concerns and I fear that if I continue to push her to open up, it will drive her further inside herself.

The greatest change appears to be in Kol. He has a maturity about him that even a thousand years of life failed to instil. I admire how responsible he has become but it saddens me to see the childlike mischievousness he always possessed robbed from him. Lucien did not only take Elena and our children, he also took much of ourselves with him.

I found myself in the nursery today. It was natural, I suppose, to be drawn there on this day of all days. No one has entered it since that night. The air felt cold like a tomb and I wondered to myself if those little girls were still alive. I am confident in Elena's survival and I know she will do what she can to protect them but I fear it will not be enough to protect our children. Sometimes I wonder whether, given the choice to return either the girls or Elena which I would choose. I like to believe that I would make the right choice, the choice that Elena, ever the self-sacrificing martyr, would want me to choose.

One of my greatest regrets is that I did not express my feelings to her sooner. I resisted for the sake of my family, particularly for Niklaus. I knew how possessive he was over her and, as always, I placed the salvation of him over my own desires. If I am honest with myself, I wanted her since the moment I saw her. I told myself that it was merely a physical attraction, due to her appearance. I felt love for Tatia. I felt love for Katerina once and on the surface Elena was identical, as beautiful as both of them. In the time since our first encounter, I know that my desire was only strengthened when I grew to know her. Even before Niklaus took her and forced her into our lives, I found myself thinking of her with… impure thoughts. When I saw Katerina again in the tomb, I felt my desire for her diminish against Elena. Katerina has become everything Elena is not. Perhaps she was always that way. Or maybe she once was that young innocent that I loved and we were the ones who made her into the twisted creature she now is. While I still possess fond memories of Tatia, she still cannot hold a candle to Elena.

Looking back, I know that it was these feelings that led me to agree to Niklaus' plan. I did not dare acknowledge my feelings or even dare to dream about what might… what could be. I wish I had not been such a coward. I wasted so much time. I should not have stooped to play Niklaus and Kol's games. If I had been honest, things might have been different.

I feel that we should dismantle the nursery. While I hold onto the hope that the girls will return, it only serves as an unpleasant reminder of what happened. A memorial to what we have lost that inspires only sadness.

But then, who am I to talk? I who have locked Elena's door and guarded the key as though I am protecting a piece of her. Unlike the nursery, which was left to grow stale, I feel no such reservations in entering her room. It is only the idea of other people doing it that I dislike. I would spend every moment in her room if I could but I try to limit myself. It still has a lingering scent of her, which grows fainter with every visit. I cling to it, a tiny part of her that is still here.

I will dismantle the nursery but at the present time I do not have the strength. Merely being in that room left me emotionally drained. To complete that task I will need to take some time to truly come to terms with what it means. And of course I will have to explain to Niklaus what I am doing. I doubt he will be amenable to the act. He has been even more temperamental than usual, although I have not been made to suffer as he spends much of his time in his studio, painting in a frenzy. He won't allow me to see what he has painted. He distracts himself with his art, much as I distract myself with fixing the city's problem, which seem so small in comparison to my own. Niklaus has emerged today to spend time with the others. When they are gone, we become two strangers in the same space, coexisting because we must. Freya is the only thing that connects us. She keeps us from disappearing inside ourselves and I am grateful for her presence.

Tomorrow Rebekah, Kol and Finn return to their search. I believe that they are uncomfortable in the house without Elena here. She became a fundamental part of it, as essential to our home and our family as the walls are to the house. Without her, things begin to crumble.

They are headed to Switzerland where Lucien's company have been involved in a number of projects. I hope that they will find her this time.

 _Elijah_

* * *

 **A/N: I was in a good mood and people were asking to know what the Mikaelsons have been up to during Elena's imprisonment. But you didn't specify what part during the five years you wanted to see so you got this. I don't really want to do too many of these because they kind of distract from the feel I'm going for with this story. If you liked Elijah's journal and want more, I have been considering doing a side story that covers the full series in journal form (including the period of time when Elena was meant to be dead). Let me know.**

 **I'm still working on my essay (did 900 words today!) so I can't guarantee updates for a while. I'll try but no promises.**


	5. Chapter IV

**A/N: I made it to 2733 words on my essay and i spent most of the day on the train so i decided to take a break from uni work and write you lovely people a chapter ^_^**

* * *

Every part of me hurt. I ached in places I didn't know it was possible to, with a fiery intensity like I had swallowed the sun. Today was the day of yet another move, to England this time. Our flight wasn't until the evening, so when Lucien had woken me early, saying he had a surprise I'd been nervous. He'd led me to the living room and that was where the pain had started.

Sitting on the floor, arms around her knees and head resting on them, was Lilah. It had been eighteen months since Lucien had forced me to marry him and had removed her in order to secure my obedience. Eighteen months of minimal contact just to let me know she was alive. Eighteen months of torture knowing that I could do nothing to help her. Seeing her brought pain unlike anything I'd ever felt. I had failed her and now I could see just how much.

She was skinny, far more so than her sister. She was wearing a baggy dress so it was impossible to tell just how much damage had been done but the limbs that were visible looked so fragile. She was smaller too, her growth stunted. Her skin was eerily pale, almost translucent. Her blonde hair was a long tangled mess that hung limply around her face. She had dark circles under her eyes and her fingernails were ragged, encrusted with dirt. But it was the bruises that frightened me. There weren't many but the ones that I could see were large and fairly fresh looking. They seemed to be concentrated around her throat and her wrists, and I could see a faint rings of teeth marks on her skin in the same area.

She lifted her head and her eyes met mine. I wanted to cry. There was no life inside them, just an unending emptiness.

I went over and knelt in front of her.

"Lilah…" I kept my voice soft. "Do you know who I am?"

She nodded slowly, breaking my gaze and looking down. I began to wonder what lies Lucien might have told her. I gently wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. She stayed rigid in my arms and I felt tears sting my eyes. Slowly, I felt her hands creep up to hug me back and I felt a rush of warmth. Maybe it wasn't too late to repair what Lucien had done to her.

"Little Lilah will be joining us on our trip," Lucien said.

I frowned. We'd relocated twice during Lilah's incarceration. Both times, Lucien had relocated her separately, ensuring I didn't get even a moment with my child. What had changed?

"Of course," he continued. "I still expect you to behave Elena. I ca very easily send Lilah away again."

I grasped her tighter instinctively.

"No! No… I'll behave, I promise."

"That's my girl. Now, why don't you run along and make a start on packing?"

I got to my feet and led Lilah from the room, frowning to myself. Usually Lucien didn't bother packing when we moved to another one of his houses. After all, they were already furnished to his tastes and the wardrobes were already stocked when we arrived.

Still, I went to the twins' room. I paused as I looked at the two beds next to each other. Throughout my time here, I'd always looked at that second empty bed, neatly made with Lilah's toy wolf resting on the pillow and felt sick. I knew Lucien had only put it there to torment me, a constant reminder of his power. Now I saw it and I felt relief. She was back and I wasn't going to let her ever be separated from me again.

At the sight of her toy, she let out a small squeak and rushed over to cuddle it. I smiled fondly and began to pack a bag. Blair, disturbed from her sleep by our presence, rolled over and looked at the other bed where her sister lay. I paused, concerned about how she might react to this girl who at most would be a familiar stranger. Neither of them spoke, but Blair held out a hand, bridging the gap between the two beds. Lilah took it and both of them lay, facing on another, holding hands. I watched for a minute as they stared at one another, feeling like I was intruding on their private moment.

I resumed packing. Blair had a few things, outfits that were more than a bit too fancy for a 5 year old and just another reminder of the roles we were forced to play in Lucien's little games. I took great delight in crumpling them up and burying them at the bottom of the bag. I wished I could make Lucien disappear so easily.

I fetched my crumpled letter from under Lilah's mattress. It was only half finished but I scribbled one word on the bottom. England. Hopefully that would help. I returned it to its hiding place and retrieved an item, wrapped in a rag that I had hidden there the first day we arrived. I stuck it in my pocket and hoped Lucien wouldn't notice I had it.

* * *

I spent the next several hours packing up Blair's clothes, Lucien's clothes and the few clothes that I actually liked. Then I spent five minutes aggressively balling up the lace and silk and satin garments that I hated but was forced to wear. It wasn't much, but it was the only act of rebellion I could afford. By the time I was done, had packed a bag with snacks and games for the flight to amuse the twins and had got them suitably dressed, it was time to go. Lucien herded us out to the car and the three of us huddled together in the dimly lit interior. Lilah kept glancing around nervously and when Lucien got in, she grew even tenser. I stroked her hair and tried to keep her calm, praying he wouldn't do anything to agitate her further.

Fortunately, the journey to the airport passed without incident and before long we were seated on Lucien's private jet. There was enough space that I could settle the twins in the back row, far away from Lucien, and allow Lilah to relax a little bit. I sat in my seat and watched the two girls. Blair was chattering away while her sister sat in silence. I'd not seen Lilah speak since she'd returned. I knew it would take some time for her to adjust but I was somewhat concerned. At least they were getting along.

The intercom crackled into life and I lifted my head.

"Good evening passengers. We are about to start our ascent. It'll take us about an hour and a half to get to Budapest. The weather is clear so we should have a smooth flight. Enjoy your trip."

"Budapest?" I couldn't help but vocalise my confusion. Lucien looked over from his seat.

"Yes."

"I thought we were going to England?"

"Yes, I know that I told you that Elena but I changed my mind. However, I didn't tell you because then you wouldn't be able to tell Klaus and the others."

"I… I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come now Elena. Your little letters? I know that you've been leaving a breadcrumb trail for them across Europe." He got up and came over, leaning against my chair. "That's the problem with breadcrumbs though. They get eaten by the birds."

"You've been… destroying my letters."

"Not all of them. Only the ones that might give your family a step in the right direction."

"Am I in trouble…?" He seemed oddly calm about the whole thing which was making me more nervous than when he acted angrily.

Well your little habit has proved advantageous to me so… no. I'll let this one slide. However, I have to warn you that if you misbehave yourself during this trip, you will be dealt with far more severely than usual. Understand?"

"Yes…"

"And when we get there, I need you… not to talk."

"umm…"

"At all. I'm not entirely sure the people we're visiting will appreciate your sense of humour. Of course I know that when I tell you to behave you'll give me some attitude and that's fine, I enjoy a little fight in you, but for you own safety, you shouldn't do that on this trip."

"Ok…"

"Good girl." He kissed my cheek. "Blair, sweetheart?"

I grimaced at the pet name. Blair looked up and smiled sweetly.

"Yes Luci?"

"We're going to see some old friends of mine and you need to stay very very quiet when we do, okay?" She nodded obediently and turned back to Lilah.

"I have two children. Are you not going to warn Lilah too?"

"The puppy? She's not said anything in a year and a half, I highly doubt she'll start now." I frowned.

"She's not said anything that entire time?"

"Well she's whimpered a little but nothing you could call stimulating conversation." He shrugged and returned to his seat. I settled back in my own chair, watching the twins. I wondered who Lucien was taking me to. He usually kept my interaction with other supernaturals to a minimum, preferring to drop me off wherever we were staying before going to meet his various contacts (usually witches). By the sounds of it I was not only going to meet them, but we were going to be staying with them. And Lucien seemed… scared. Or as scared as his shrivelled emotions would let him be. And that was somewhat concerning.

I left the main seating area and went into the tiny cubicle bathroom. From my pocket, I retrieved the item I'd got from under the mattress and unwrapped it. It was the Mikaelson necklace. While Lucien had let me keep the pendant Ansel gave me, the first thing he'd asked me was if I had any jewellery with the Mikaelson crest on it. I wasn't sure if it was out of jealousy or if he thought they could use it to find me but I'd lied and hidden my necklace away. Now, I held it in my hand and locked eyes with myself in the tiny bathroom mirror. I gently rubbed my thumb over the pitted surface and tried to visualize the family in my head. I knew I didn't have any magic and any favour that the ancestors or the dead werewolves seemed to have had for me had failed to materialize as actual help, but I hoped that if I tried hard enough something might get through to them. Maybe Freya would sense me, I didn't know. But I had to try.

I concentrated. Let it work, let it work. Let them find me. When I was first taken, after I'd been reunited with the twins, I spent every minute I was alone trying similar things. It never worked but I kept trying, hoping that my persistence would pay off. After Lilah was taken again, I had to stop. I knew that even if they had been able to find me, I couldn't leave without her. Over the months, I'd begun to lose hope that I'd ever see her again and that I'd ever be free of Lucien. Now she was back, I tried again with renewed vigour. Part of me knew that it wouldn't work, that it was insane to place my hopes on a tiny object. I knew that personal objects and blood were the favoured items for tracking and locating spells and Lucien had certainly been leaving a trail of my blood behind. If the siblings couldn't use that to find me with magic, the necklace didn't stand much chance.

But I had to try.

 _I am here. Find me. Find us._

I slipped the necklace back in my pocket and left the bathroom. The girls were both looking sleepy so I settled them in my arms and stroked their hair as they dozed off. The plane's interior was dark now, the lights switched off. I felt Lucien's eyes on me and I lifted my head slightly.

"Is there something on my face?"

"No… you just seem a little disheartened love."

"It's painful seeing someone after a long time. Particularly if you let them down." I was surprised by my candour. I felt like we were on neutral ground up here. Down on the earth, I had to play one of two roles, either the doting wife in public or his helpless victim behind closed doors. Things felt different up here. I wasn't either of those, I was me.

"You didn't let her down."

"I let you keep her locked up for a year and a half."

"What could you have done? I wouldn't have let her out until I wanted too. There is nothing that you would have been able to do to change that. So stop beating yourself up. You're a good mother."

I looked away and held my children close.

"Are you going to tell me who we're going to see?"

"They're some people I knew a very long time ago who I am hoping will be able to use their considerable resources to find what I need. And that is all I am saying. Now, I suggest you sleep. We have a long journey when we land and I don't need you looking worn out and acting crabby because you're tired."

He turned away, relaxing in his seat. I watched him for a minute before settling into my own seat and closing my eyes. I didn't know what would be waiting for me when I woke up but I knew I wanted to avoid it for as long as was possible.


	6. Chapter V

**A/N: A lot of you guessed where this was going, you clever people.**

* * *

Lucien woke me when the plane landed and I carried the girls out to the car. I was surprised to find that we didn't have a driver. I'd been half convinced that Lucien didn't know how to drive. We also didn't have any of his security team which was a relief for me but made me feel slightly concerned. I tucked the girls in the back and got in the passenger seat. Lucien got in the driver's seat and we set off from the airport.

I rested my head against the window, watching the darkened scenery pass by. My fear about whoever we were going to meet was growing. They couldn't be worse than Lucien, surely?

We pulled up outside a large house and Lucien got out of the car. I got the girls out, carrying Blair who refused to wake. Lilah stirred immediately and clung to my arm. Lucien looked over at me and I could see the tension on his face.

"Remember what I said? You stay silent."

"Believe me, I have no desire to get my tongue ripped out by your friends."

"They're not my friends…" he muttered. We headed up the drive to the front door and Lucien knocked. The door opened almost immediately and we filed into the warmly lit interior, me and the girls slightly behind Lucien. It was a large foyer with a huge staircase at one end. The butler who had opened the door closed it behind us and turned to Lucien.

"Who should I say is calling?"

"Lucien Castle," said a voice from the top of the stairs. I turned and saw a man with brown hair in a smart suit coming down the stairs. "I was expecting you earlier."

"There were a few things I needed to sort out first Tristan…"

"So familiar Lucien. Is that anyway to greet me?"

"Do you expect me to bow? It's not the 11th century anymore."

"True but you are in my home and you want my help. So maybe a little respect is due." Lucien gritted his teeth and bowed. I can sense the loathing coming off him in waves. "Was that so hard?"

Lucien straightened up and looked away, his cheeks flaming a little. The man, Tristan, turned his attention to me and the girls.

"I take it this is your latest little… pet? She's pretty, I'll grant that but a bit of a downgrade after your last one. Looks are of course appreciated but… magic is something else. Power will always be the truest aphrodisiac." He stepped closer to me, circling around me as he ran his eyes over me in a way that made me feel both dirty and exposed. "And you're now running a nursery for your pet's children?"

I tightened my grip around Blair's sleeping body and pulled Lilah closer.

"Actually, Tristan, she is my wife. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from looking at her ass."

"Killjoy." He stepped back. "So, are you going to explain why you've come crawling to me for help?"

"Because you said I could use your witches?"

"I said that if you came here, I might be able to help you. Before I give you the use of my strix and the sisters, it's only fair that you tell me why you need them."

Lucien looked at the floor. I chewed my lip nervously.

"She's… she's the doppelganger." Lucien admitted. Tristan raised his eyebrow.

"The one our dear sires are currently tearing the world apart to find? Just why do you have her?" My head shot up at that. They were trying to find me!

"I took her… from them…"

"I've seen some truly moronic things in my time but this is beyond… why would you take her from them? You know that they will kill anyone who stops them from getting her back, right? And that Elijah actually contacted Aya? To try and enlist the strix in finding her?"

"What did she say?"

"She asked me and I told him that I didn't wish for my vampires to get involved. Whatever business they're involved in is hardly worth dying over."

"What if I told you… that those children… are the offspring of the Mikaelson brothers?"

"I'd tell you that you've clearly lost what little intelligence you had. Because that is impossible."

"And yet it's true. You heard the stories, right? About the mythical pregnancy in New Orleans?"

"Fairy tales."

"That's what I thought. But here is the living proof."

Tristan approached me once more and gently placed a finger under my chin, lifting my head. I jerked away sharply, glaring at him.

"Now there's no need to be like that. My name is Tristan De Martel." He offered his hand. I looked pointedly at my hands which were holding onto my children, and then looked back at him. "Does she speak?"

"Not at the moment. She had a bit of a mouth on her and I didn't want it to get her into trouble."

"Hmm and you're sure that she's the one…?"

"Yes. And I want your witches to help me work out how."

"And what's preventing me from killing you Lucien and taking this prize for myself?"

"If I die, Elena is compelled to end her life. She has my blood in her system, she'll turn and be completely useless." I tried not to let my surprise show on my face. He'd done no such thing. And he hadn't even fed me his blood that day. He was trying to bluff Tristan and I wasn't sure whether or not it was better to stay with Lucien in this situation. Neither of them seemed particularly pleasant.

"Well then, I'm sure we can arrange for the sisters to help you. However, I feel it would be in everyone's best interest if we didn't mention the details to Aurora. She's in something of a fragile state at the moment."

"That's fine. Do you have somewhere for us to stay?"

"Certainly. I had a room made up for you. Although I wasn't anticipating the… entourage."

He headed up the stairs and we followed. Lilah was looking around with her wide, fearful eyes. Tristan led us to a bedroom and opened the door.

"It's yours for the duration of your stay. I'll see if I can find somewhere to put the small ones…"

"I'd appreciate it if they weren't too far away," I said, speaking up for the first time. I saw Lucien's eyes narrow. I tacked on a smile and made my tone as respectful as possible. "If that's not too much trouble for you, sir."

"Of course not. For tonight, they'll have to stay in with the pair of you. I'll have someone on my staff bring extra blankets and they'll be set up in the neighbouring room for the next day."

"Thank you, I really appreciate it." I led the girls into the room, leaving the two men at the door. The room was large and there was a large sofa against one of the walls that would make a decent bed for the girls. I knew there was no way Lucien would consent to giving them the bed and him sleeping on it.

He exchanged a few words with Tristan before coming inside and closing the door behind him.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't say anything?"

"To keep myself safe, yes. But my children's' wellbeing comes before my own." I said, setting Blair down on the sofa. Lilah clambered up beside her and curled up. "Besides, I was perfectly polite. No attitude."

"Well… I'll let it slide this time." He sprawled out on the bed, groaning. "I hate him."

"I guessed. It's very obvious that you don't get along and I only spent five minutes with the pair of you."

There was a knock at the door. I went and opened it. A young woman in a maid outfit was there, holding a small pile of blankets. I thanked her, took them and returned to my children, carefully tucking the two of them into their makeshift beds. I went over to the bed and perched on the edge. Lucien reached out and rubbed my back gently.

"Are you feeling like giving me actual answers now?" I asked.

"About Tristan? Not especially."

"Please? The least you can tell me is if he's a serial killer since you've brought both me and my children here."

"He's… not a serial killer. But that doesn't mean he's a good person. I used to work for his family before Nik turned me."

"And Elijah turned Tristan?"

"Smart girl. We were actually the first people they turned. And Aurora, Tristan's sister, was Rebekah's first. You'll probably meet her tomorrow."

"Does the no talking rule apply to her as well?"

"Especially to her. She's… exceptionally volatile. And under no circumstances do you mention Lilah's relationship to Nik in her presence. If she asks, Lilah is Elijah's child only."

"Right… Do I want to know why?"

"Just know that it's in her best interest." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me. I squirmed, uncomfortable in his iron grasp.

"Please don't do anything while they're here…" I whispered. He groaned and loosened his grasp.

"Fine…" He sounded like a spoiled child who wasn't getting his own way. I wriggled free and propped myself up, looking over at Lucien.

"You do realise that if you get me pregnant, you're actually have to learn to like children."

"No. I'll just let you deal with them."

"Okay well, I can't take care of multiple children and be pregnant. And more importantly, I don't want to. I have enough issues taking care of the two children that I like."

"Are you saying that if I get you pregnant, you're not going to like our kids?"

"I'll probably care for them, yes, but I will never be able to look at them without thinking about you and what you did to me."

"That's a depressing and very dramatic way to look at things, Elena."

"I'm sorry that you think it's dramatic of me not to like the prospect of being raped and forced to pump out babies until I die."

"I'm not raping you Elena. I'm your husband, I have a right to sleep with you."

"You are delusional. It's not the 1700s anymore. Every time you touch me, I want to throw up." He looked at me for a long time.

"You'll get over it." He rolled over and settled in the bed. I lay rigid on the bed, waiting until I heard his breathing even out. I slipped out of the bed and went over to my girls. Blair was still asleep and Lilah seemed to have dozed off as well. I gave them both a quick kiss and left the room. I knew I shouldn't wander off. It was a strange place, I had no idea what I might run into if I went too far.

I leant against the balcony rail that overlooked the main entrance hall. The lights had been dimmed and cast a pleasant warm glow around the space. The curtains on the large windows either side of the front door were open and I could see the drive which gave way to trees and gardens beyond that.

I bit my lip, chewing a strip of flesh with my teeth. I felt tears on my cheek. I'd not really acknowledged my situation before. I'd always been aware of what Lucien had planned, what my future was going to look like but I'd not really registered just how bad it was. I closed my eyes, trying to stem the flow of tears but they continued, flowing thick and fast.

"Can't sleep?" I jumped and turned sharply to see Tristan standing a few feet. I wiped my eyes hurriedly.

"Yeah…"

He leant against the balcony rail beside me.

"I didn't get your name earlier."

"It's Elena."

"Well Elena, I hate to see someone so beautiful look so sad." He handed me a handkerchief and I quickly wiped my eyes.

"I'm fine… I just needed some time… and I didn't want to wander somewhere I wasn't meant to be."

"Wise. But maybe… do you fancy taking a walk with me? The grounds are very beautiful, and the fresh air might help."

"I… I probably shouldn't leave Lucien."

"You mean you don't want to leave your children with him." I looked away.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't need to. Come on. We won't be long and if Lucien gets angry, I will handle him."

I considered. The fresh air did seem tempting. I had spent most of the day in the house, on the plane, in the car, with very little breaks in between. I nodded slowly. Tristan smiled.

"Excellent."

He offered me his hand and, after a moment's hesitation, I took it. We headed down the stairs and he led me to a set of glass doors that opened onto a beautiful garden. We walked down the path and I enjoyed the cold sting of the air on my skin.

"I take it Lucien has not been treating you in a manner befitting of a lady."

"I don't think he's been treating me in a manner befitting a garbage bag."

"Well that is certainly unfortunate. I assume you're accustomed to better treatment."

"The Mikaelson's are… different." I looked down. "Lucien told me that Elijah turned you?"

"Yes. A very long time ago. And I've not seen him in some centuries."

We reached a rose bush and he picked a flower, turning it over in his fingers.

"What were they like back then?"

"Well, I don't what they're like now to compare it to. But when I first knew him, he was young. And scared. To the best of my knowledge, they had only recently been turned themselves. They were still learning their strengths and their limitations. It didn't end well though."

"It never does…" I looked down.

"You're far too young to be so sad." He held out the rose. I took it shyly. "I will try and intercede on your behalf with Lucien, if that helps?"

"He's afraid of you… but it will probably just encourage him to do worse later on when no one's around."

"I will see what I can do. I certainly can't have him harming a young lady under my roof." We continued along down the path. "I am surprised, given your hatred of Lucien that you have a positive relationship with the Mikaelsons. I mean, they're not all bad. Rebekah was very sweet from what I recall… Finn… was… alright when he didn't talk."

"You mean Klaus, right? You can't understand why I'm involved with someone like him when Lucien is like a dark haired version of him?"

"Exactly."

"Klaus has done bad things. I won't deny that. So has Elijah and Rebekah and Kol. But, when I'm with them, I know that they love me. And I love them. When I'm with Lucien, I know that he just wants things from me." I sighed. "I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. I don't usually go around spilling my guts to complete strangers"

"I can understand why. Anyone can see that you are lonely and have spent… I don't know how long with Lucien, who is many things but not a skilled conversationalist. Besides, given your rarity and the fact that he has the oldest family of vampires searching for him and you, I doubt he's let you out to enjoy yourself. Humans are social animals. Vampires… slightly less so. But, still, interaction is important."

"It's not just that. I think it's… because you remind me of Elijah." He smiled slightly and looked away.

"I spent a long time acting like him."

We looped around the garden, heading back towards the house. I felt myself slowing the nearer we got. It was pleasant being outside in the fresh air with nothing but the sound of crunching gravel underfoot.

"Tomorrow I will send Lucien to talk to my witches… and I have a friend I would like you to meet."

"I'm not sure how many friends of people I can handle…"

"At least with this one it won't require a plane ride."

He opened the glass doors and held it so I could re-enter the house. We went back inside and stopped at the foot of the stairs.

"I will see you at breakfast? I assume… I don't know how things work around here…"

"Yes, you will. I hope you sleep well Elena."

"Goodnight Tristan." I headed up the stairs and to the bedroom. I paused at the door and looked back. He was still at the base of the stairs, watching me silently. I ran my fingers over the soft petals of the rose and went into the bedroom.

* * *

 **A/N: I've almost finished my essay (sorry to keep going on about it). Should have it done by tomorrow and then I have NO MORE ASSIGNMENTS. Well, I have a dissertation to write but I've got several months to do that and at least I can take some time between finishing this essay and starting the next where I can do MUCH FANFICTION.**


	7. Chapter VI

**A/N: And my essay is done. Yayyyy! And I meant to have this up earlier but I fell into one of my slumps. I finally got motivated and a massive wave of exhaustion hit me (didn't sleep much before, I was disturbed by a very persistent lawnmower outside my window) but I'm powering through so you actually get an update.**

* * *

Lucien was still asleep when I got back and the girls hadn't moved. I set the rose on the bedside table, climbed into bed and wrapped the blankets around me, trying to keep my body as far from his as I could. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Tristan 'took' me from Lucien. He certainly seemed more reasonable. Then again… appearances could be deceptive and I'd been fooled before. It saddened me that this was what my life had come to, considering which malevolent vampire it would be better to be imprisoned by. I sighed and rested my head on my arms. From my position on the bed, I could see out of the window to the garden I'd just left. I closed my eyes, hoping that tomorrow things would look just a little bit brighter.

I didn't dream that night, for which I was grateful. Life was hard enough without my sleeping being disturbed by the same problems. It was fitful but I was happy for even the briefest bit of peace. It was early morning before I managed to fall into a deeper sleep and actually get some rest.

I was woken abruptly from my sleep by something heavy hitting my chest. I groaned and opened my eyes to see Blair perched on top of me. Lucien growled softly.

"Your daughter is in our bed…" he murmured. "Why?"

"Because she's five and small children hate sleep." I sat up, running my fingers through my hair.

"Well then why isn't the other one doing the same thing?"

"Because she's terrified of you. In fact, I very much share her feelings and it's only the threat of violence that has me in this bed with you." I got up. "I'm going to take them downstairs and see if I can find some breakfast for them. We wouldn't want to impede your beauty sleep, now would we?"

He threw a pillow at me, clearly too tired to actually discipline me for speaking out. Our luggage had been brought up at some point in the night so I dressed Blair hurriedly and put Lilah in one of her sister's dresses that didn't completely drown her. I put on my own clothes and took their hands, leading them downstairs.

It didn't take us long to find the dining room and to my surprise, Tristan was already there, reading the paper. I paused, taken aback by the image that reminded me so much of Elijah. He looked up and smiled pleasantly.

"Good morning Elena."

"Good morning Tristan… I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone to be up this early. The girls were hungry and Lucien was getting irritated."

"It's quite alright. Please, have a seat. I wasn't expecting to see you up so soon."

"Well it was this or risk the wrath of Lucien by staying upstairs."

"Ahh, of course, we wouldn't want to wake him." He rolled his eyes. "If anyone could use the extra sleep, I believe it's you. If you don't mind me saying so, and this is with the greatest respect, you do look a little out of sorts."

"I didn't sleep well… I don't normally…"

I got the girls seated and sat down myself. I served their food and passed it over to them, aware of Tristan watching me.

"You're a good mother," he said quietly.

"I don't believe that sometimes. But I'm trying."

"What are their names?"

"Blair Isabel and Lilah Alexia."

"Pretty. And… oddly appropriate. Given their heritage." He refilled his glass. "I have to ask, for curiosity's sake…"

"You want to know which Mikaelson, right?"

"If you wouldn't mind. If it's too personal, then of course…"

"No, it's fine. Umm, it's a little complicated. Kol is Blair's father. And Lilah is… a mixture of Elijah and Klaus."

"That is certainly interesting. Although, I would not offer up Klaus' part with my sister around."

"Lucien said something similar… can I ask why?"

"Aurora and Klaus had a… relationship of sorts. And she still has something of an attachment to him. She can be terribly jealous, and I really don't like to see her upset." He folded his paper. "Do you have any siblings Elena?

"I… I used to… I used to have a big family… and now it's just me. And the girls. And Lucien."

"You say that like it's a bad thing Elena," said Lucien from the door. I rolled my eyes.

"I thought you were sleeping?"

"And miss all this wonderful bonding? You might give away all my secrets Elena." He came over and took a seat at the table. "Will Aurora be joining us?"

"No. She's… a little under the weather at the moment." Tristan ran his finger over the rim of his glass, looking slightly uncomfortable by the topic.

"You sedated her didn't you?" Lucien said.

"I did indeed." He smiled at Lucien. "Now, I have spoken to Aya and she has arranged for the sisters to meet with you today."

"Excellent. Elena, you can spend the day in the bedroom."

"Actually," Tristan interjected. "I'd like Elena to spend the day with me. I thought I could keep her company."

I saw Lucien stiffen and his eyes narrowed. Tristan raised an eyebrow, looking completely at ease with the tension between the pair of them. I tried to ignore them, instead focusing on my food and making sure the girls didn't make any mess.

"Come now Lucien. I'm letting you stay here and I'm helping you with your problem, the very least you can do is let me spend a little time with her. See what our sires find so appealing."

"Fine. Elena, you know the rules." He got up. "When can I meet the sisters?"

Tristan checked his watch.

"Your escort should be waiting in the hall for you now."

Lucien swept out of the room and I resisted the urge to giggle at the dramatics. I took a sip of my juice, hoping that would suppress it.

"I don't mean to be rude Elena, but I really can't see why you married him," Tristan said with a completely straight face. I choked on my juice as the laughter bubbled up inside me. Tristan grinned. I finished up my breakfast and tidied the twins up.

"So what are we doing? I know you said you wanted to meet a friend of yours?"

"Yes." He got up and gestured for me to follow. I got up, leading the girls with me and followed him. He led us to a large hall which I guessed had once served as a ballroom. There was a woman stood in the centre, her back to us. "Elena, I'd like you to meet Aya."

The woman turned and she cast her eyes over me.

"This is the girl?" I felt myself tensing. Whenever anyone said that phrase, it never ended well.

"Yes. Elena, Aya is my second in command. She's also a very skilled combatant. And I thought she might be able to teach you a few things… strictly for… self-defence purposes, of course."

"Okay… if I'd known, I wouldn't have worn a dress." I looked down at the twins. "What about…?"

"Well they can sit in here with me. They might even pick up something useful." He knelt down and offered his hands to them. Blair eyed him warily and I expected Lilah to react similarly, but she released me and stepped forward. I frowned, watching. She cocked her head to the side and I saw her wrinkle her nose, as if she was sniffing the air. Then she reached out and took Tristan's hand.

Blair looked at her sister and released me as well, taking Tristan's other hand. He led them to the side of the room and seated himself with them. I looked back at Aya who was still watching me intently.

"I'm not really dressed for this…"

"The thing about combat isn't it doesn't wait for you to be prepared. Either you always dress in preparation for a fight, or you learn to overcome your obstacles." She paused, her eyes sweeping over me. "Tell me, have you ever had any experience fighting?" Her voice made it seem like she didn't have much hope.

"Well, I come from a town where every vampire who shows up wants to kill me. So I have some experience with surviving. I wouldn't call it… fighting."

"Any actual training?" She sounded utterly bored, like this entire conversation was beneath her. I felt myself getting irritated. I was so sick of vampires looking down on me and thinking they could treat me however they wanted.

"Yes, actually I have."

"Oh really? Who by?"

"Well I was taught by a vampire hunter and a young vampire called Damon Salvatore." She made a noise and rolled her eyes. "And then I was trained by the Mikaelsons."

"Which one?"

"All of them."

"And yet you find yourself at the mercy of the likes of Lucien Castle."

"Well… I am a human. And he is one of the oldest vampires in the world."

"That shouldn't matter." She moved closer until there was barely an inch between us. "If you are in a situation where you have to fight, you fight until you cannot fight any longer and then you fight some more, because otherwise you die. You have to use what you have. If you lack power, you make up for it with technique. If you lack size, you use it to your advantage. You have to be ready for everything." I noticed that her body had tensed slightly as she spoke, the hyperawareness that Lucien's presence had instilled in me making me notice every slight movement she made. When she lunged, I dodged out of the way. She raised her eyebrow and a small smile appeared on her lips. "Maybe you're not quite as hopeless as I thought."

* * *

Aya spent the next hours teaching me a number of techniques, combat moves, working me until I was aching all over and exhausted. I collapsed on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

"I can't do anymore."

"You have to. You fight or you die. What do you want?"

"Go on, I'll take death right now… please…"

"Get up!"

"Aya," said Tristan from his chair at the side of the room. "Go easy on the human. She's spent a great deal of time in the hands of Lucien who's most definitely not been taking care of her. Please don't break her on the first day."

"Fine. You did reasonably well…" She admitted. She offered her hand. I took it and jerked sharply, pulling her down to the ground and pinning her in one swift move. Tristan let out a loud laugh and clapped his hand. Aya blinked in surprise.

"Couldn't resist," I said, getting to my feet.

"Elena, I'm liking you more and more with each passing minute," said Tristan, coming over. "After all that, I imagine you could use a drink. Aya, how much longer do we have before Lucien comes back?"

"Oh a decent amount of time. I instructed the sisters to be particularly unhelpful today."

"You set him up?"

"Not at all Elena, we merely instructed our witches to take their time before giving Lucien what he wanted."

"I am beginning to like you more and more as well, Tristan."

"How about we head outside? I'm sure your girls could use some fresh air. And as lovely as the gardens look in the moonlight, you can't really appreciate it until you see it in the light."

I nodded and we went outside. Blair immediately set off running, enjoying the vast expanse of grass. Lilah was more hesitant but she too sprinted off after a moment. Tristan took me to a bench under a canopy of ivy and we sat there.

"Thank you for all of this. Helping with Lucien… setting up training with Aya. I do appreciate it." I looked over at the girls scampering around. "And it was nice to see Lilah not looking completely terrified."

"I think she senses the shared blood between us." He looked out across the grounds. "I must say, my motives aren't purely selfless. I find you rather fascinating Elena. Humans wander into our lives now and then but they never really last… they get killed or they get turned. And… obviously, it is rare to see the Mikaelsons to care for anyone beside themselves. You are… unique. I find that intriguing."

"Intriguing I can handle."

"I have many friends who would share my perspective. Not only because of what you can do, I must stress that. You are… beautiful. Clearly intelligent. Very determined. And that's only from a brief time knowing you. Aya was impressed by you as well. My Strix would admire you."

"Strix?"

"Oh yes. The Strix is a group of like minded vampires. It was originally set up by our mutual friend."

"Lucien? Cause I don't think either of us like him." He laughed softly.

"No, not Lucien. Elijah. All of the Strix are vampires from his sireline."

"Are you inviting me to join your secret vampire clubhouse, Tristan?"

"Not quite. I doubt Lucien would allow me to steal you away and he's far more valuable to me alive. But I believe that you underestimate your value."

"I know I'm valuable. Every vampire in the world wants to pump me full of undead vampire babies."

"That's not what I meant. Value is the wrong word. I meant that you are interesting. And you seem to forget that you are special as a person, not just for what you can do."

We sat in silence, watching the girls play for a time. The sun dipped a little and the air became cooler, so we headed back inside. I changed and met back up in the dining hall. It was pleasant being able to sit and eat and talk without fear of repercussions over what I said or Lucien's hands groping me under the table.

Lucien himself joined us after a brief period. He seemed rather frustrated and his presence made the light hearted feel in the room dip instantly. We were in the middle of our main course when Tristan suddenly went rigid, lifting his head. Lucien, a moment later, mimicked him, both of them looking to the door. I frowned and followed their gaze.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm going to sleep now for a long time.**


	8. Chapter VII

In the doorway was a redheaded woman with a look on her face like she was half asleep. She leant against the frame, smiling at us.

"Lucien! No one told me you were here!"

"Good evening Aurora." Lucien greeted.

Tristan got to his feet, going over to the girl, his sister I presumed. He placed a hand on her arm and carefully ushered her into a spare seat.

"You really shouldn't be up, my dear. You need to rest."

"I feel fine." Her eyes turned to me and the girls and she cocked her head to the side. "Who are they?"

"Aurora, this is Elena. Lucien's wife. And her daughters, Lilah and Blair." Tristan said. Aurora's eyes swept over me and settled on the girls.

"They're so pretty." She reached out as if to touch them. Tristan intercepted her hand and squeezed it lightly. She frowned but settled back in her chair.

"It's getting late," I said. "I'm going to put the girls to bed."

I ushered them out of the room. I wasn't sure why but there was something unsettling about Aurora. The way she looked at the girls was just a little bit off. I wanted to get them out of the way, make sure that they were safe until I knew where she stood and what she was like.

Tristan had put aside a second room for the girls and I lead them inside. I got them into their pyjamas and tucked them into bed. Lilah wrapped her arms around my neck and held on, reluctant to let me go. I gave her a kiss and slipped free, heading back downstairs to the dining room. I took my seat.

"So Elena, how did you and Lucien meet?" Aurora asked.

"He kidnapped me."

"That's not true," Lucien said softly.

"No, I'm wrong. He kidnapped my children and blackmailed me into going with him."

Aurora laughed softly.

"Oh Lucien, you are bad."

"That's one word for it," murmured Tristan. Aurora laughed again.

"You'll have to ignore Tristan, Elena. He and Lucien have never got on. Even when we were children, they were always fighting."

"I'd hardly call it fighting," said Tristan.

"Neither would I," said Lucien. "It was more like being beaten up by a sadist."

"Well you'd know all about being a sadist," I said under my breath.

"You are should watch your tongue Elena," said Lucien. I fell silent, looking down at my plate. Tristan caught my eye and I glanced over. He gave me a small smile, almost conspiratorial in nature and I couldn't help but smile slightly back.

"How long are you joining us, Lucien?" Aurora asked.

"I'm not sure. A few days at least, until your dear brother's witches can help me with what I want."

"oooh, that sounds intriguing. What exactly are you after?"

"Something special." He smirked at me and I felt my smile vanish. Aurora looked like she was going to ask for more details so I decided to derail the conversation and redirect it to more appealing topics.

"You guys knew Lucien as children then? I mean, I know you mentioned that he used to work for you, right Tristan?"

"Yes. He was the son of a man who worked for our family. A very stupid man who ended up getting in a great deal of debt with our father. And he would come and play with us while his father worked. And then when he got older, he became a servant for our family. It was his job to greet our visitors and guide them to our castle."

"Castle?"

"Oh yes Elena. Our father was the Count de Martel." Aurora said with a smug tone to her voice.

"I don't know who that is."

"He was a man of great power, wealth and influence," she said, her tone a little colder.

"Clearly not enough to be noted in history books though." Aurora's eyes narrowed.

"And what about your life Elena? Before you became Lucien's wife?" She was trying to make me feel small and insignificant for snubbing her.

"Well, I was born in Mystic Falls, Virginia. I was adopted. I had a brother. And then I… met a group of very powerful vampires who took me in as one of their own. We moved to New Orleans."

"I hear New Orleans is a wonderful place," cut in Tristan. I guessed he was sensing the tension between his sister and myself.

"It is. Beautiful place, vibrant, alive… large supernatural community."

"I've heard the stories. They're not too friendly to outsiders, is that right?"

"It's true," said Lucien.

"Actually Lucien, I have to disagree with you. Most of them are quite friendly, it just depends on the outsider. But in your case, if you were to go back I doubt they'd treat you with much kindness. Given that you kidnapped their queen."

Both Aurora and Tristan looked over at me. I smiled sweetly.

"Queen?" Aurora asked, disbelief obvious in her voice.

"Yes. I am the queen of New Orleans. And I do hope you're not too attached to Lucien because he can't run forever and eventually my family will catch up with him. And he will suffer for what he has done." I knew as I said the words that I would be the one suffering that night, as soon as Lucien got his hands on me. He wouldn't do anything now. He liked to pretend, to play the nice guy even if no one actually believed it. He preferred to do his dark deeds where no one else would see them.

"I highly doubt any vampire would go up against one of the oldest in existence over a human. Queen or not," sneered Aurora. "It would be suicide."

"Actually, Aurora, I'm fairly sure that my family could handle it for one very simple reason."

"Which is?"

"Well, before Lucien abducted me and forced me to take his name as part of this ridiculous charade where I have to pretend that I actually care even the slightest bit about him, my name was not Elena Castle. It was Elena Mikaelson."

Aurora's glass slipped from her hand and smashed on the ground. I got to my feet.

"I'm going to bed. Good night Tristan. Aurora, it was nice meeting you."

I left the room and went up to mine. I stood in the middle of the room, looking out the window and waiting. I knew it wouldn't take long.

The door flew open and I heard Lucien's snarl. I sighed and turned.

"You couldn't just keep your mouth shut, could you? You had to go and fucking talk!" He stalked towards me and slapped me hard across the face, my head jerking to the side from the force of the blow. He grabbed me by the throat. "You wouldn't talk so much if I tore your tongue out."

I clawed at his hands, gasping for breath as he held me up, my feet skimming the ground. He threw me across the room, crashing into the side of the bed. I winced as my head slammed against the frame. I reached up and my hand came back red. He advanced, looming over me. He grabbed my arm, dragging me to my feet. His grasp was so tight I could feel it crushing the bone. I swung wildly, trying to remember what Aya had taught me. My fist made contact with the side of his face. A malicious smile spread across his features.

"You want to play rough do you Elena? Maybe I should go and invite Lilah to join us? Maybe I should make you watch as I tear your little girl's heart out?"

I kicked him hard, throwing my weight against him in an effort to knock him over. He twisted me in his arms so my back was against his chest, his arms ensnaring me, his nails clawing at any exposed flesh they could reach. He sank his fangs into my throat and I screamed. He pulled his head back, tearing a chunk from my neck. He pushed me away and I turned to face him, clutching my throat where the blood continued to flow. He took a step forward, hand raised to strike me once more.

"Go on! Beat me! Kill me if it makes you feel better! It won't change anything! It won't make you less of a coward!" I knew it was stupid but the words escaped my lips before I could stop them.

He hurled me into the mirror. It broke as my body made contact, the shards falling around me, cutting into my skin as I crumpled to a heap.

"YOU DO NOT GET TO TALK TO ME THAT WAY!"

He put his foot on my chest, pushing me further into the pile of glass splinters.

"I own you Elena. Every bit of you is mine. Your body, your mind, your very soul belong to me and it is by my grace only that you are alive. If I wanted to, I could kill you right now and you would be helpless to try and stop me." He pressed down with his foot and I whimpered, aware of how easily he could crush my ribcage. Instead, he lifted his foot and stamped down hard on my shoulder. I screamed as the bones shattered.

He knelt down and lifted me up once more. I tensed, ready for him to throw me at something hard again. Instead he put me onto the bed and climbed on top of me, straddling my waist and holding me down with his weight. I struggled, trying to throw him off even though I knew it was hopeless. He laughed and put a hand on my chest, pressing me lightly into the covers.

"I can feel your heart… that flutter… it's intoxicating." He pulled a knife from his pocket. My eyes widened in terror. He brushed the cool metal flat of the knife against my cheek, smirking as my heart beat picked up.

"Don't look so down Elena… let's put a smile on that face shall we?"

He smirked and gripped my chin with one hand. He placed the tip of the blade at the corner of my mouth.

"Open."

I kept my mouth shut tight.

"Open your mouth, Elena, or I will have to put this knife somewhere else and believe me that will be far more unpleasant."

Tears began to flow and my lips parted ever so slightly. He pushed a finger into my mouth, pulling my lip down further. He pushed the knife in, pressing it against the corner of my mouth. I begged him silently, my eyes wide and terrified. He grinned sadistically and jerked the knife sharply. Blood filled my mouth as he tore through the skin from my lip to the top of my cheek. I howled in pain, the sound distorted. He tightened his grip on my chin, repositioned the knife and repeated the process, cutting a twisted parody of a smile on my face. I thought I might pass out from the pain and I almost wished that I would. My tears mixed with the blood that was flowing from my face, dribbling down my chin and across my throat.

Lucien pulled back the knife and lowered his face until it was barely an inch from mine. He ran his tongue along the wound, lapping up the blood, before forcing it into my mouth. I struggled, legs thrashing, hitting out at him with everything I had.

He sat back, my blood staining his lips like garish lipstick. When he spoke, his voice was soft and that was more terrifying than his yelling. I felt woozy from the blood loss and everything was spinning around me.

"You've got all brave since we came here because you think you've found a friend? You think Tristan will save you?" He grabbed my hair, forcing me to look him in the eye. "Here's the truth Elena, he doesn't care about you. He's just like everyone else, he wants something from you. And yes, I'm not exactly angelic but this is the reality. I'm all you've got."


	9. Chapter VIII

**A/N: Hello everyone! Well, I am very muchly enjoying reading your comments. Most of them seem to be focused on Tristan and whether or not he's being genuinely nice to Elena. I am loving all of your theories and suggestions, it makes me very happy. Updates may be a bit sketchy for the next two days cause I'm working nights and night-time is when I do most of my writing. I'm back to normal day shifts next week and I'll try to do an update at least every two days, if not every day.**

* * *

 _I'm all you've got._

"No."

The word was barely audible and was distorted heavily by mutilated mouth. Lucien cocked his head.

"What was that?"

"No!" I slammed my knee up as hard as I could, jamming it into his crotch. He let out a sharp cry. I used the opportunity to ram my body against him, knocking him off of me. I bolted for the door, ignoring the dizziness. I managed to stumble out of the room and fled down the stairs. I knew that if he wanted to, he could easily catch up with me.

I made my way out of the house and into the garden. My blood was flowing thicker and darkness was clawing at the edge of my vision, threatening to consume me entirely. I tripped and collapsed on the grass. I tried to get back to my feet but the pain and the dizziness had got too much. After some struggle, I managed to roll onto my back, staring up at the sky. Tears clouded my already blurred sight, flowing thick and fast. My body heaved with each choking sob and sent another stab of pain through me as the movement agitated my wounds.

Was I dying?

I saw the shape of someone on the edge of my field of vision. I tried to turn my head but it felt incredibly heavy.

"What has he done to you?" Tristan knelt beside me. He carefully moved me into a sitting position. I turned my head away, reluctant to show him the damage. "Elena, let me see…"

I turned my head slowly, my eyes bloodshot and cheeks tearstained. He rested a hand on my chin, examining the damage before pulling back. He bit his wrist and placed it at my tender mouth. I whimpered and turned my head away.

"Elena, you need healing." He carefully moved my head back in place, settling his wrist at my lips and letting the blood drip down my throat. I groaned softly but didn't resist. I felt my skin tingle and itch as it knitted back together. Tristan retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to me. I took it and wiped away the worst of the blood before handing it back to him.

"He's never been that bad before…" I whispered, my voice hoarse. "Did I do something wrong? I know I shouldn't have talked back but… even before when I did that, he didn't treat me like this…"

"He feels threatened with me here, he's taking it out on you. You did nothing wrong Elena, I promise." I sighed, looking away. "Elena, I want to tell you a story. A long time ago, before we became vampires, I found Tristan in a compromising situation with my dear sister. I'd always known of his affection for her but I was confident that his desires would never come to fruition. After all, he was a lowly servant. But that night, I found them together and I was… enraged. I had him placed in the dungeon, beaten and then I took my knife… I cut him from mouth to cheek in much the same way he did to you. And that is why he did this tonight and why he let you run out from his room out here where he knew I would see you. He is sending me a message."

"Why?"

"Because he knows I present a great threat to him. Because I care for you."

"You don't care for me, you don't know me."

"That's true, I don't know you very well but even I can see that you are a special young lady who is in a very bad situation. And I would like to change that." He looked up at the stars. "I cannot take you from him permanently. As I said before, he's worth more alive in his fugitive state and… while I do care for you Elena, you can't expect something for nothing. However I can certainly give you a few days reprieve and send him away until his business is concluded."

"He won't agree to that."

"He doesn't have to agree. I have a way of making it happen. Just wait till breakfast, I'll deal with him then."

"Why are you being kind to me?"

"Do I need a reason to be kind to a young lady in trouble?"

"You just said you can't expect something for nothing."

"Well in this case, I can make an exception."

I stared out across the garden. My skin had healed but the pain was still there, albeit reduced. We sat in silence. I half expected him to leave me out there but he stayed beside me, sat on the grass, looking up at the stars.

"I'm sorry if I upset your sister," I said quietly.

"She's easily upset, she'll be fine. Although, I'll admit your little revelation at dinner was somewhat surprising."

"The whole queen thing?"

"Yes." He looked over at me. "So which of the Mikaelson brothers is your king?"

"Why do I need a king?"

"You don't, I was just curious. I can imagine Niklaus using your position to his advantage."

"Well he hasn't. And no, he's not my 'king'." He watched me, his expression patiently expectant. I sighed. "When I left, Kol and Elijah had both proposed to me. I never got the chance to give them an answer. But I guess you could say I am a queen of many kings."

He chuckled softly.

"I can see why Elijah would like you."

"Were you and he close?"

"Oh exceptionally so. For a time it was almost like we were the same person. As such, I feel a level of responsibility for you." He got up. "You should really get some sleep."

"I don't want to go back…"

"I understand that. I'll get you some clean clothes and you can sleep in with your daughters? Would that be alright?" I considered and nodded. He helped me to my fight, steadying me as a wave of dizziness swept over me.

He carefully ushered me inside and up the stairs. A door opened and I froze, fearing a sudden assault from Lucien. Aurora stepped onto the hallway and looked over at us.

"Has someone been misbehaving?" she asked, her voice soft and innocent as she took in my bloody and dishevelled form. Tristan moved to block me from her view.

"It's nothing to concern yourself with my dear, go back to bed." He ushered me past her and took me to the girls' room. He disappeared down the hall, returning a moment later with a shirt. "Here. I'm afraid I don't have any women's clothes and I doubt Aurora's would fit."

"It's fine, thank you." I went to open the door but paused. "Thank you, for tonight."

"Anytime."

I let myself into the girl's room and changed out of my bloodstained dress into the shirt Tristan had given me. I locked the door and checked it twice to make sure that it was secure. I knew if Lucien was determined to come in it wouldn't really stop him but it made me feel a little safer. I climbed into their bed and wrapped my arms around them, holding them tight. Lilah's eyes opened a little and looked up at me. I turned my head a little so she wouldn't see the tears that still stained my face. She reached up and gently placed her hand on my cheek. I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead before settling down. I held them both close to me, feeling their steady heartbeats and drawing comfort from the sensation. I could be strong for them. I had to be.

* * *

The next morning, I was woken by a loud banging on my door.

"Elena!"

Oh crap, Lucien. I turned my head and saw Lilah was awake, hidden under the covers with only her eyes visible to me. She was terrified, trembling slightly. Blair was on my other side and she looked afraid too which was in a way even worse than Lilah's terror. Lilah had always had a reason to be scared of Lucien. But he'd never scared Blair before. They knew something was wrong.

I murmured reassurance into their ears and reluctantly climbed out of bed. They clung to me, whimpering softly. I carefully extracted myself and went to the door. I hesitated and unlocked it. I opened the door and stepped outside into the hall, not wanting the twins to witness what might happen.

"Hello Lucien…"

"Where have you been?!" He snarled, glaring at me.

"I felt that it was better if I got some distance from you after last night…"

"You don't get to decide that. You are my wife, you sleep in my bed." His eyes registered Tristan's shirt on me. "What the fuck is that?"

"My dress was covered in blood and I didn't want to go back into the room to get a clean one. So Tristan leant me a shirt." I folded my arms. He growled and grabbed my shoulders, slamming me against the door. I winced.

"Get dressed," he hissed. "Come downstairs, have breakfast. And then afterwards, you are going to go up to our room and wait there until I come for you. And when I do come, you are going to be a good little wife and make up for everything you've done."

He stalked off downstairs. My breathing was frantic and my heart was racing. I went to the bedroom and got dressed, then came back to the girls' room. I started to dress them, my hand trembling. I felt a few tears running down my cheek. Blair frowned and touched my face.

"Mama why are you crying?"

"I… I'm fine sweetie." I wiped my eyes. "See? No tears. Mama is fine." I finished dressing them. "Shall we go and have breakfast with Lucien and Tristan?"

They both nodded.

"I like Tristan," said Blair. "He was nice to us."

"Was he? That's good." I took their hands and carefully led them downstairs. Tristan, Lucien and Aurora were all at the table. Tristan was toying with a knife, turning it over in his fingers. I got the girls situated and took my own seat, keeping my head down.

"Aww the dolls are back!" said Aurora. "They're so pretty."

We ate in silence. Once the girls' plates were empty I noticed something pass between Aurora and Tristan, a meaningful look.

"Would you girls like to come and play with me?" Aurora asked, getting up. "We can play dress up with my pretty clothes!"

They looked at me and then nodded. She led them out of the room. I felt an urge to go after them, reluctant to leave them alone with her.

"Lucien," said Tristan. "I know you're very keen to get the answers you want from the sisters. So I feel that it would be better if you stayed with them for a few days, until they give you what you want. Elena and the girls will be quite comfortable here in the meantime."

"You must be turning senile if you think I'd leave Elena here with you," said Lucien calmly.

"I'm hardly senile." He got to his feet and went to the sideboard that was situated behind me. He poured himself a drink and rested one hand on the back of my chair, still toying with the knife. "But you don't really have a choice Lucien."

Tristan pressed the knife against my throat. I let out a small squeak of shock and fear. What was he doing? He was supposed to be on my side.

"What are you doing Tristan?" asked Lucien, getting to his feet.

"You didn't seem to notice that Elena's injuries have healed. Now, I know that you need her alive and human for your little plan to work. So if I was to open up her throat right here, that would not be ideal for you." He pressed the knife tighter to my neck, a single bead of blood broke loose and ran down the curve of my throat. "Here are your choices. You can get up, leave my house and go to the sisters. Stay there until you have your answers. Or you can stay in your seat and I will slit Elena's throat, robbing you of your prize."

Lucien scowled and got to his feet.

"Aya!" called Tristan. "Make sure Lucien gets to where he's meant to be."

Aya appeared at the doorway and escorted Lucien out. Tristan waited until the sound of the front door closing was heard and set down the knife. He took the seat beside me.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you but it was the only way that I thought I could get him to leave."

"I… I'm fine… th… thank you."

"I figure I've bought you at least a few days reprieve. Make the most of them."

He kissed my cheek and left the room. I stayed where I was, my heart beating frantically in my chest. I looked at the knife, discarded on the table. The silver surface was stained with a coppery hue from the residue of my blood, a droplet hung from the point of the knife, threatening to drip down onto the tablecloth. I touched my throat, already healing from the vampire blood in my system. He hadn't really wanted to hurt me… had he? He was just trying to help me…

So why did I feel like I'd exchanged the frying pan for the fire?


	10. Chapter IX

**A/N: I finished my work shift and despite being very tired I decided to try and put something else up. And good news (for you, bad news for me) my second night shift is cancelled so I have nothing to do from Friday to Sunday except write.**

 **Also, I wanted to address a review I got. This person was registered as a guest so I can't reply privately. I'm not planning on doing another chapter of Mikaelson stuff at the moment because, as I said before, I feel it distracts from the story. And I find them rather boring/annoying to write. However, if I do do one, I will try and do a different perspective than Elijah's. You don't have to keep asking.**

* * *

I left the dining room and headed out to find the girls. Something about Aurora unsettled me greatly. I wasn't sure what it was, but she just… was… wrong. Something was off about her.

I heard them before I saw them. Aurora's childlike laugh. I followed the sound to the ballroom that I'd trained in the day before. Aurora was blindfolded and was chasing the girls around the room, arms outstretched. Tristan was leant against a wall, watching them with amusement. I went over to him and he smiled.

"I've not seen Aurora this happy in a very long time. It brings me great joy." He looked over at them before turning his attention fully to me. "You remember I mentioned my group of friends… the vampires from Elijah's sireline?"

"Yeah… the Strix right?"

"Yes. I was considering having a few of them over tomorrow night. Would you be my date?"

"Umm…"

"I don't mean an actual date Elena. You are married after all. But I would like you to attend as my honoured guest. They'll all be dying to meet you. And Lilah too, come to think of it."

"How many people?"

"Just a handful of those I'm closest too.

"I suppose that wouldn't be too objectionable." I smiled slightly. "I can't guarantee Lilah's attendance… you can understand my concerns about bringing her into a group of vampires."

"Of course. If you come, you can have a look at the group and then decide if you want Lilah to come along later."

"It would be nice to have an evening where I can meet people without worrying about incurring Lucien's wrath for speaking my mind."

"Exactly," he smiled. "As I said, best to make the most of this time."

"Mama, mama!" shouted Blair, running to me. She tripped, falling to the floor, and let out a wail of pain. I rushed over to her and helped her into a sitting position. Her knee was badly grazed and was bleeding. Aurora tore off her blindfold, her vampire fangs sliding out and her veins darkening. She took a step towards Blair and I pulled my child behind me.

"One more step, I swear to god…" I said, glaring at her. She stepped back, her eyes returning to normal and her lips curling into a sulky pout. I turned my focus back on Blair. Tristan came over and picked her up carefully. He carried her over to a chaise longue and set her down. I came over and wiped the blood from her knee, gave her kisses until her tears dried up. "I think that's enough excitement for one day, don't you?"

"But we were going to have a tea party mama…" said Blair.

"Maybe later, okay sweetie? Why don't we go upstairs and I'll read to you for a bit, yeah?" She nodded and held up her arms to be picked up. I scooped her up and carried her up to her bedroom, Lilah following behind us.

We settled on the bed and I fetched a book from their bag. I read to them for a few hours, the two of them nestled in my arms. Blair dozed off near the end and I paused in my reading. I looked at Lilah who was watching me with her big silent eyes.

"You alright sweetheart?" she nodded. "You know you can talk to me, if you want to, right? I won't get mad like Lucien does, I promise." She looked down. "When you're ready, I'm here." She snuggled closer against me. I stroked her hair lightly and continued reading. Things felt reasonably good for the first time in a very long time. Not perfect but better at least.

Lilah drifted off as well, so I decided to leave them both to take a nap. I wriggled off the bed and left the room, heading back to the room Lucien had so recently vacated. I hesitated at the door, reluctant to return to the scene of last night's attack. I'd been there briefly that morning to get dressed but I'd only spent a fraction of a second there, going in and out as quickly as I could and I'd refused to look at anything around me.

I took a deep breath and entered the room. This time, I went slower, looking around the room. I was almost glad that there were still signs of what had occurred. If they'd disappeared, it would have made the night's events almost meaningless, like my suffering had no impact. The mirror was still broken, the shards piled up around the base. The bed hadn't been slept in and there were traces of my blood on the sheets, the carpet, splashed across the walls. I grimaced and grabbed my bag. I couldn't stay in here.

I took the bag to the twins' room and opened it, rooting around in my bag until my hand came into contact with Ansel's pendant. I lifted it from the bag and ran my finger over the curve of the fang. I missed Ansel. It had been nice to have someone to talk to who would just listen without judging me. Well, maybe he'd judged me but he'd kept it to himself which was appreciated. I put the pendant around my neck and tied the cord. Maybe if I was lucky, I'd see him again.

* * *

The rest of the day and the day that followed were pleasant. It was nice to be able to move around without fear, to dress myself, to sleep and just… be normal. Or as normal as things were likely to get for me.

I put the twins to bed that evening and went to get ready. I ran myself a bath and sank into it, relaxing. The water felt good and for once I could take my time getting ready, the way I used to in Mystic Falls.

After my bath, I changed into a relatively smart dress. Tristan had said it was a casual get together but judging by the way he dressed, I figured it was better to make an effort. I paused by the mirror and I felt a little sad. So many parties gone by. They'd gone from being something fun with my friends and family to something I had to endure.

I adjusted my pendant and headed out of the room. I paused at the top of the stairs, surprised by what I saw. There was a lot of people downstairs, far more than I'd expected from Tristan's description of a small get together. I was now very glad I'd left Lilah in bed and had decided to investigate the group first. I bit my lip, part of me wanting to flee back to my children. Being surrounded by unfamiliar vampires did not appeal.

Tristan was greeting people at the door. I slipped down the stairs and decided to get a drink before talking to anyone. Alcohol was the best way to deal with things. I went to the dining room and poured myself a large whiskey. I didn't like whiskey but every vampire I knew seemed to have an endless supply of the stuff.

"Seeking a little liquid courage?" I looked up and saw Aya nearby. I smiled slightly and downed the drink.

"At least I know that I can give anyone who tries to start a fight with me a run for their money even in this dress."

"Don't say that too loudly Elena, some people might take you up on it."

"So are all these people Strix?"

"Yes."

"Tristan said it was only going to be a few people…"

"Well it was supposed to be but we're a close knit community and word spreads fairly quickly. They're all very excited to meet you."

"What's so special about me?"

"Most of them know about your… status. And they're all aware that the Mikaelson's are currently hunting you which makes the allure even greater. They want to see what the fuss is about."

"I hope they're ready to be disappointed." She chuckled softly.

"Have a good evening Elena. Try not to start any fights."

Aya disappeared into the crowd. I refilled my glass and drained it once more. Okay, now I felt ready to face whatever Tristan's Strix cared to throw at me.

I made my way back to the foyer area. Tristan noticed me this time and came over to me. He took my hand in his.

"You look beautiful Elena. Are you ready to meet my little group of hell raisers?"

"Ready? No… but let's do this."

He led me to the stairs and moved up a few steps so that everyone could get a clear look at him. He cleared his throat and even though the sound was relatively quiet, everyone instantly fell silent and gathered in a loose semi-circle around the base of the stairs.

"Good evening everyone, it is a pleasure to see you all again. We are here tonight to celebrate someone of great importance to our community. All of us are bonded by one person, the progenitor of our great sire line, Elijah Mikaelson. And tonight, I would like to introduce you to my honoured guest, Elena Mikaelson." A murmur spread through the crowd. They didn't sound very impressed. "Do not let appearances deceive you. She is human, yes. But she is a girl of great intelligence, determination, loyalty, curiosity. All traits that our society was founded upon. And not only that… I assume all of you have heard the rumours from New Orleans, of a human who bore vampire children of the Mikaelson bloodline? I can confirm those rumours as truth. This woman has mothered a child of our great sire. So, I expect you all to make her feel welcome. She belongs here. She is one of us."

He kissed my hand and stepped down. Sound once again filled the hall as everyone began to talk. I followed him down the steps and back into the crowd. As I moved, everyone around me paused in their conversations to watch me. Some of them even reached out and touched my arms, my shoulders, my hair.

"Well… this is a lot…." I said under my breath to Tristan.

"You deserve this and more," he murmured, placing a hand on my waist in order to gently steer me from the crowd. "I invited them here because I wanted to show you that… the world isn't limited to the Mikaelson family. Yes they helped create us all but we have grown far beyond them. And you deserve to be recognized by all of them for who you are, not just for the family that you joined."

"That's… flattering. But I like the Mikaelsons."

"You're saying that you've never had any second thoughts? Any regrets? That every moment has been just roses for you?"

"There… have been times…" I admitted. "And yeah, it's had difficult moments but that just makes the good moments more special. I don't care about being recognized. In fact, I got tired of that when I was just the doppelganger."

"I think you're limiting yourself Elena. You are worth more than this, you should be admired everywhere you go." He released me. "Think about it. There is a whole community of people who want you to be a part of them." He smiled. "Try and have some fun tonight."

He disappeared into the crowd, leaving me very confused as to what had just happened.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry about the length.**


	11. Chapter X

**A/N: I'm sorry. I've been suffering with depression, apathy, writers block, an accident with a chip fryer and eczema so I've not been in the best state to write a chapter that didn't end in everyone dying. I hope this makes up for the break (I've had some requests for this and I wanted to do something less doom and gloom) and I will try to return to regular updates.**

* * *

After nearly an hour, Tristan directed the mingling vampires into the dining room. I decided to go outside and get some air. All the attention was a little overwhelming.

I let myself into the garden, took my shoes off and walked out onto the grass, curling my toes to relish in the sensation of the dew underfoot. I felt grounded, part of nature. I closed my eyes, enjoying the peace.

A bush rustled nearby and a twig snapped. My eyes opened, immediately searching for the source of the noise. I focused on the bushes and saw two golden eyes staring back at me. I took a step closer and knelt down. I felt no fear, instead I felt something warm stir inside me. I held out my hand and a wolf emerged from the bushes. He came over and gently nuzzled my hand. I felt an instant sense of familiarity.

"Hello old friend."

The wolf whined and pawed the pendant at my throat before sitting back and giving me a reproachful look.

"I'm sorry that I stopped wearing it. I didn't have a choice. I have missed you greatly though." I sat on the grass and Ansel rested his head on my lap. I played with his fur, comforted by his presence. "I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."

He stretched out, tail wagging. I smiled to myself. It was more than just seeing an old friend. Ansel represented a little bit of home.

A realisation hit me and I pulled away from Ansel. He whined and cocked his head to the side.

"Can you wait here? I have to go and get something from inside. I promise it's important." He nodded and settled into the grass, showing that he had no intention of moving.

I went back inside and hurried up the stairs. I went to the twins room and over to where Lilah was sleeping. I stroked her hair and whispered, trying to wake her without waking Blair.

"Lilah, sweetie wake up, I want to show you something."

She grumbled sleepily and half opened her eyes. I smiled and picked her up. She wrapped her arms around me, still half asleep. Her stuffed wolf was clutched in one hand. I carried her down the stairs and through the foyer to the back door. I was glad that none of the Strix were around. Their interest in Lilah concerned me.

I went out to the garden with Lilah in my arms and over to where Ansel was waiting. I knelt down, setting her down on the ground. She held onto me, keeping her face pressed against my chest.

"Ansel, I want you to say hello to your granddaughter. Lilah, this is your grandpa." Lilah lifted her head and peeked over at the wolf. She gasped softly and released me, throwing her arms around his neck. He wagged his tail and nuzzled her gently. She pulled back and held up her wolf toy to him, comparing the two. Ansel looked at me, happiness clear on every feature of his face. "I know, she's a bit bigger since you last saw her."

Lilah plonked herself down on the grass and began to play with Ansel's fur and ears, lifting his paws and examining them. I sat down and watched. Ansel rested his head on my knee, letting Lilah do whatever she wanted. Everything felt good. This was the way it should be. Family together… even if it was only a small part of it.

Watching her play, I knew that if I wanted to get her back home, I was going to have to work with my current situation, not against it. I had been trying not to get involved in whatever Tristan wanted from me, skirting around the edges of it. I was going to have to change tact and use whatever happened to my advantage.

Lilah settled down, resting her head on Ansel's flank and cuddled his tail close. She closed her eyes, dozing off. I watched her silently for a little while before looking to Ansel.

"If this had been different… she would have been raised with your kind…" I said to him. "If I'd stayed in the bayou. Maybe that would have been better… none of this would have happened."

Ansel whined and head butted my leg lightly.

"Okay, I admit I don't regret it. No matter what's happened since, I don't regret going back to them. They're my family and I love them." I sighed. "I'm going to have to do some things that… I really don't want to do. But… it's worth it right?" He looked at me. "Please Ansel. You're the only guidance I have, the only person I know I can trust right now. Tell me… do I do… what I need to do in order to get home? No matter how… shameful?"

He was silent for a minute and then placed a paw on my knee, eyes locked with me. I took that as encouragement, willing me to be brave. I kissed his furry forehead and lifted Lilah from the ground.

"Thank you. You should get going before the strix come out." He nodded and got to his feet. "I'll see you again, I hope."

I headed back into the house and took Lilah up to her room. She stirred in my arms and looked at me sadly. She held up her wolf toy.

"I'm sorry princess, he had to go. But we'll see him again, I promise."

I tucked her into her bed and kissed her forehead. I really wanted to curl up in my own bed and sleep but I knew I needed to go back downstairs and make an effort.

I took a deep breath, brushed off a few grass stains and headed downstairs. I went into the dining hall. Everyone was seated and eating, laughing and talking loudly so no one noticed my entrance. I went over to the one empty chair, on Tristan's left opposite Aya. He smiled slightly when he saw me.

"I was beginning to worry one of my guests had eaten you Elena."

"No… it just got a little overwhelming. I needed some time to breathe."

"I understand, we can be a somewhat intimidating group."

"So… how does one go about joining your little vampire treehouse?"

"Does this mean you're interested?"

"No, it means I'm curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat," said Aya from across the table, smiling slightly.

"But satisfaction brought it back. People always forget that part. It's the like the blood and water thing."

Tristan raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not quite sure what you mean Elena."

"Well, everyone always says blood is thicker than water. Like your family is what's stronger than anything else. But that's not the actual saying and it basically reverses the original meaning. Just like curiosity and the cat."

Tristan chuckled softly.

"Well Elena, in answer to your question, all our initiates go through a trial. Ordinarily we'd take their daylight ring and they'd have to find it."

"What if they don't have a daylight ring?"

"Then we'll find something that's just as important to them."

"And what do they get if they pass the test? Apart from access to your parties?"

"We make sure all our members are well looked after."

"You ask a lot of questions for someone who's just curious," said Aya softly.

"Well I'm very thorough." Both Aya and Tristan raised their eyebrows. "Okay maybe I'm a little interested. But only at a superficial level. After all, you wouldn't want me. I'm just a human."

"You're doing yourself a disservice Elena. There's no 'just' about you," said Aya. "You're a doppelganger, you're a queen. You're a human who bore the children of our sire."

"I had sex with Elijah. I'm sure there are others at this table who've done the same. Tristan is definitely his type," I teased. Tristan chuckled softly and even Aya cracked a smile. "Besides, I wouldn't be a very useful member. Yeah I can push out a kid but I also age and get sick and lose in fights where I don't have pencils to shove into my enemy's throat. Being a doppelganger and a queen doesn't negate the human part."

"Humanity is fleeting," said Tristan. "Yes you're human now, but that won't be the case forever."

"Lucien will never turn me. I'm only useful to him as a human." In my head it occurred to me that maybe Lucien would turn me… once he'd gotten what he wanted and I was completely broken. Then he could send me back to the Mikaelsons as a living reminder of their failure to stop him… but no, he wouldn't be that sadistic. Besides, even if he was it wouldn't give him any advantage… the siblings would hunt him down and murder him…

"Lucien's far from being the only vampire."

I fell silent. I knew that I'd told myself I'd use every opportunity I had and do whatever it took to get home but turning… that scared me. If I was a vampire, I was harder to kill but it was also harder to die. I could wind up trapped at the mercy of a sadistic vampire for eternity with no way out.

* * *

I kept quiet for the rest of the evening, only speaking when directly spoken to. My mind was a blur of conflicting thoughts. I knew, as a vampire, I'd have a better chance to get away from Lucien and Tristan had all but said he'd turn me… but even with Stefan I'd never wanted that life. Maybe at some point but I'd never felt ready for that. I needed to think about this. It wasn't something I wanted but it might be the best option…

Dinner wrapped up and Tristan said goodbye to his guests. I gave polite smiles but really I was lost in my own head. Aya stayed behind while Tristan showed them out and she watched me silently for a few minutes before speaking.

"I don't see what the conflict is here, Elena." I frowned.

"I'm not conflicted…"

"It certainly seems like you are."

"Well… I've got a lot going on…"

"Elena, Tristan asked me to teach you. To make you strong. And I take that role seriously. So I am going to give you some advice. You have an offer on the table. Maybe he hasn't said it but you both know that it is there. And yet… you've not taken it."

"I…"

"Lucien is a coward. He would own you and keep you as a slave. Tristan wants to make you into the queen you're meant to be. I know which I would choose."

"It's not about Tristan or Lucien. I have a family. I have kids. There are people I love. I want to choose the path that gives them the best life and lets me share it with them."

"You're not the first to love Elijah. To love any of them. Aurora loved Klaus. I loved Elijah. But they will always move on. And when they do, they will leave you behind. And I hate to say it Elena, but in your position, they will most likely leave you as a corpse. You need to stop worrying about them and think about your own survival. Yours and your daughters."

She got up and left the room, leaving me sitting there alone.


	12. Chapter XI

**A/N: I have to respond to a guest review quickly. To the guest who asked how many chapters I'm planning - Currently I've only got a set plan up to chapter 16 and then I've got a few odd chapters floating around that I've not quite worked out where to put yet. Most likely it'll end up being the same length as the previous two although I quite like the idea of doing something longer just cause I'm enjoying the Tristan/Elena conspiracies and I don't want to stop.**

* * *

I spent the next days in a state of confliction. Aya and Tristan didn't mention the offer and I didn't bring it up. I focused on trying to think of an actual plan, while taking advantage of the time to enjoy myself. It was rare to have free time that I could actually take advantage of. I mean, yes I was stuck inside whatever house Lucien placed me in so I essentially had nothing but free time but it wasn't time I could use, knowing that he could return at any time. I knew eventually he'd be back but Tristan had given me a reprieve and I intended to use it. Aya continued with her combat training and although I still hadn't had that many lessons, I felt that I'd at least be able to make a decent attempt at fighting off Lucien. Once. The element of surprise would help. Past that, I doubted I'd have much chance at all.

One morning, I came into the training room to see an unusually stressed looking Tristan.

"Hey… you okay? Did Aurora go nuts?"

"No…" He gave me a look that showed my sense of humour was not appreciated. "Lucien is making a fuss. There's only so long my witches can stall him."

"Right… so he's coming back…?"

"Not yet. The witches have told him that they are unable to locate what he needs because of the uniqueness of the situation. They suggested that having a physical link to you would help… so you're going to need to go see the witches today." I stiffened slightly. If the witches were genuinely trying to find a way to solve Lucien's problem, they'd be able to see my secret.

"Oh…"

"Something wrong? I doubt they'll find anything."

"I just… I don't like witches very much. Particularly ones who are helping my captor to find a way to turn me into a baby machine."

He touched my arm.

"It will be okay Elena, I promise. Now, Aya is waiting outside to take you to the witches. I can take care of the twins if you wish?"

"Please… they like you." It was true. Lilah especially had taken a strong liking for Tristan. I wondered if Tristan was right that she could sense their shared blood.

"I'll take good care of them, I promise." He kissed my cheek and gestured to the door. I sighed and headed out the front to the car. Aya smiled and opened the door for me. I got in and rested my head on the window, looking out. Aya got in the front and started to drive. I watched the scenery pass by and for a split second I thought I saw a flash of fur in the bushes. Ansel. I smiled to myself.

"Is that your wolf?" Aya asked. I jumped. I didn't realise she knew about him.

"He… he's a friend of mine, yes."

"You have all these men fighting for you, packs of wolves following you and… you still consider yourself weak?"

I stayed silent, unsure how to reply. We drove to a small secluded church and Aya led the way inside. As we stepped through the door, I let out a small gasp. Every single wall was covered in bones. They adorned the ceiling and some had been fashioned in chandeliers.

"Wow… what is this place?"

"Have you ever heard of the Sedlec Ossuary?" Aya asked.

"No…?"

"It's a church in Kutná Hora. Allegedly, the abbot of a monastery in the area was sent to the holy land and he returned with earth which he sprinkled on the cemetery. This encouraged people to want to be buried there to the point that… things got crowded. So they built a place very much like this one. This one is just less of a tourist attraction"

"So this is holy land? How come you can stand on it?"

"I'm not religious." She smiled slightly. "But because of the number of souls this place holds, it is of great power for our witches."

"It's… cheery." I perched on one of the pews. "These witches work for the Strix? How does that work?"

"They were orphans, outcasts. We give them a home and a place to practice, to grow. They're… consultants."

"Uh huh… is Lucien here?"

"No. The sisters said he was too distracting. If you'd follow me," she gestured to a door. I got up and reluctantly followed her inside. She led me down a set of stone steps to the church crypt. It was surprisingly spacious. There were candles set around the room, illuminating it in an eerie glow, and several figures wearing hooded black cloaks. At one end of the room was a tomb and on top an altar of sorts had been erected, a cluster of candles surrounding an assortment of objects such as a scrap of white fabric with a faded red stain on it.

"Ladies," said Aya. "This is Elena."

The figures turned as one, silent except for the faint rustling of their cloaks.

"Umm… hi."

"This is the girl?" asked one of the figures.

"Yes. I'll leave you to it." Aya left the room. The figures moved until they had formed a loose circle around me.

"Please, have a seat." I sat down on the dirt floor. "Ariane."

A witch stepped forward and sat down opposite me. Her hood slipped back a little revealing a young woman with pale blonde hair. She gave me a wary smile.

"Lucien mentioned that you might have knowledge of the spell that enabled you to fall pregnant," she said.

"Well… I had it performed on me… but it's kind of a blurry mess. I couldn't tell you any details I'm afraid."

"It's not necessary for you to remember," she said. "I am a seer. I can see into your memories and find what we need."

"Umm… is that really needed? Isn't there another way to do it?"

"This way is the easiest. It may not work, while I can absorb the memories that exist if someone has removed it from your mind I won't be able to. If that is the case, we'll try something else." She held out a hand. "Usually these spells are far more effective however I require an element of nature to draw on and water is my preferred conduit. This may hurt a little but I will try to make it as brief as possible."

I couldn't do this. She'd see the rings. She'd find out my secret. I was screwed!

She looked at me expectantly. I sighed.

"What do I need to do?"

"Lay down, dig your fingers into the dirt."

I did as I was told. Ariane placed her fingers on my temples. Around us, the other witches each took a candle and joined hands. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on anything but the rings. I didn't know if it would work but I had to hope.

The witches began to murmur, their voices perfectly in unison. My eyes rolled back in my head and a splitting pain tore through my brain. It felt like my skull was being cracked open and my mind unspooled. Images danced before my eyes, some faint, some blindingly bright. I let out a small cry.

"Shh Elena…" The words weren't really spoken, but it was like they were coming from everywhere around me. "I am looking into your past, your future. It will be painful, the truth always is. But it will pass, I promise."

The images blurred into one before becoming a single wall of white light. I whimpered as the pain grew, the blinding light building in front of my eyes.

 _Hands. Sweat. Two bodies locked in one. A tender voice, familiar and comforting._

"Ahh…. Please… please stop it!"

 _The taste of blood on my lips, rich and all consuming. Wild desire building inside of me, an animalistic hunger for more._

"No…"

 _Pain. Unlike anything I'd ever felt before. Hot tears on my cheeks. Rough fingers on my fragile skin._

"Not that… not that…"

The tears were real now, flowing on my cheeks as I battled the images. I didn't want to see this.

 _Screaming. Lilah crying, calling for me. Her hands reaching out for me. I reached for her and was pulled back, iron arms crushing me to Lucien's chest._

The images stopped.

"Ariane!" snapped one of the witches.

"She's not strong enough, she needs a moment."

"We only have her for today. We need to find the answers. Keep going!"

"If I go any further, she will die. Which will make the whole thing an exercise in futility. And I need a break as well, her memories aren't exactly pleasant."

The angry witch scowled but fell silent. I sat up, my breathing frantic, and wiped the tears from my eyes. I sat there silently. My body felt numb. The pain had gone entirely but I couldn't shake the feelings that the images had stirred inside of me. I wrapped my arms around my knees and rested my head on them.

Slowly my breathing returned to normal. The angry witch looked to Ariane expectantly, waiting for her to continue. Ariane sighed.

"Fine. But Cynthia, if she dies because of this, you need to explain it to Aya." She looked to me. "Elena, do you feel fit to continue?"

"Will… will I see them again?"

"The memories? Not those ones, no."

I reluctantly lay back down again, knowing I didn't really have a choice. Ariane returned her hands to their original positions and the other witches resumed their murmur. I tensed, anticipating the return of the pain and the memories that I had no desire to see again. At first they didn't come, but when they did it was at full force. I wondered if she'd been holding back before as now they came thick and fast, barely a pause between the end of one and the start of the next. My fingers dug deeper in the dirt and the images seemed to grow even quicker.

 _Klaus' face the night of the hybrid ritual, my blood on his chin, his fangs bared._

 _The birth of the twins, the first time I saw their tiny faces looking up at me._

 _Fighting Dahlia, the sound of the wolves tearing into her flesh._

 _Visiting Sophie, working on the spell with her._

"No! NO!"

Ariane jerked back like she'd been electrocuted. All the candles in the room went out.

"What was that?" demanded Cynthia.

"I don't know… it's like there's a powerful force around her… something strong and ancient…"

I lifted my head slightly. The ancestors? Were they still looking out for me?

Cynthia scowled and got to her feet.

"Did you at least get what we needed to know?"

"I got some things but I need time to make sense of them. However I don't think she will be of much more use to us. I'll take her up to Aya."

I got up slowly, my legs trembling. Ariane placed a hand on my back and carefully led me upstairs. I wanted to ask her what she saw but I dared not, fearing what she might say. I didn't speak as she handed me over to Aya or as Aya drove us back to the house. I was deep in thought. I decided that it was safest to assume that Ariane had seen my spell and the rings, that it was only a matter of time before Lucien found out. I knew that the witches were stalling him but inevitably they'd have to say something. I didn't have much time. I needed to find a way out and I needed to do it fast.

When we got back to the house, I went inside and followed the sounds of the girls to find Tristan. He was in the library, reading to the girls. He stopped as I entered and smiled.

"Hello Elena. You're back earlier than I expected."

"The sisters thought it might be detrimental to my health to stay any longer." I sat down.

"Did they manage to find out anything of use?"

"I… I'm not sure." I bit my lip. "Tristan, I'd like to make a deal with you."

He closed the book, his expression becoming serious, and handed it to Lilah who retreated to the other corner with Blair.

"What kind of deal?"

"I'm not sure… I know I need your help and I need it fast. What… would it take for me to ensure that?"

He looked over at where the girls were reading together.

"Now isn't the time for this discussion." He gently touched my hand. "Why don't we pick this up later? Come to my room tonight when they've gone to bed. We can… talk it over."

"Okay…"

"Don't sound so nervous Elena." He got to his feet and kissed my cheek. "I won't bite. Hard."

* * *

 **A/N: I managed to pump out this chapter thanks to a drunk guy messaging me with quotes from Matilda and waking me up. So… yay I guess?**


	13. Chapter XII

**A/N: I'm answering another guest question - I'm not planning on taking everything from season 3 (i never actually finished watching it so...) Obviously certain characters will appear but i'm ignoring the main plot of the season with the warring sirelines, the prophecy and all that stuff.**

* * *

Freya

We are currently in England. Once again I fear we are two steps behind Lucien. We almost caught up to him in Milan and I have found a letter from Elena that confirmed her presence there. She directed us to the UK as their next destination but so far I've found no signs of them and all of our contacts have proven quite useless. I wonder if Lucien has been using her in an attempt to misdirect us. If this is the case, then our trail has well and truly gone cold and I do not know where best to resume searching.

How are things back home? Marcel has sent me a few letters keeping me notified about the happenings in the quarter but I'm aware that he would never truly be able to see the suffering our brothers are enduring. Tell me that they're well? I worry about them constantly. I have enclosed Elena's letter in the hope that it might convince them she is unharmed and provide them with some form of comfort, however small. In truth, I fear greatly for our lost sister. The apartment that we found in Milan had a strong scent of blood, it appeared to have soaked into the very walls of the building. I worry that the longer we take to find her, the less chance we have of getting her back as she was.

If the letter doesn't work to help our brothers, perhaps it will do to strengthen your spells. I know you are trying your hardest and I am sure Lucien is making use of every resource he has to block your attempts. If only the witches would cooperate. They swore their allegiance to Elena yet they will not lift a finger to help her! It infuriates me!

Finn asks after you. I believe he takes the separation from you the hardest. He already lost you once and with Elena's absence, he does not wish to be apart from you as well. Kol has been employing his usual brand of charm and persuasion to attempt to influence the local witches into helping us but most are too fearful of our reputation to do anything more than the most basic of spells. They fear that a war is brewing and do not wish to be involved, which in a way I do understand. I worry about Kol. He is not the brother I once knew. He exists in a state of depression, with brief bouts of mania and aggression when we encounter yet another setback. I think this disturbs me most of all because I have seen him chase and abandon women frequently but this is the first occasion where he seems to truly know love. I feel that if he loses Elena permanently he will never be the same and in that case it may be kinder to place a stake through his heart.

Tomorrow we journey to Ireland. I know that Mikael found his witches there and that they employed a magic unlike that of the American witches. Kol believes that they may know of some spells in their strange Gaelic magic that will enable us to break through Lucien's barriers.

Until next time, my sister.

Rebekah.

* * *

My dearest Rebekah

It does my good to hear from you. Things grow worse each day. Marcel does his best to keep the vampires in line and Jackson has control of the werewolves. The werewolves are devoted to finding Elena and the vampires are willing to help as Marcel instructs them but the witches refuse on the grounds that they only swore allegiance to Elena and will not obey our family in her absence. However, there is hope. On Halloween they are throwing a large party and Elijah has offered to host it, believing that if we all attend and honour them, they will grant us a gift. Please, please return for Halloween? I know that it is asking a lot but if your search is drying up it may be our only shot.

Thank you for the letter. I tried to read it to the boys but Klaus refused to hear it and Elijah did not seem to believe the words. I am trying to use it as a link to her for my locator spells but it is not providing much help. I get brief glimpses of her now and then but these are too fleeting to allow me to hold onto her.

I miss Finn greatly, as I do you. I spent so long alone that I thought I could handle the separation but each moment seems like a century of agony. Please, take care of him (and of course yourself!). I do not want to lose another family member due to their recklessness. We will find Elena, I have no doubt of that but it will take patience and perseverance. Klaus does not seem to possess either of these attributes. He grows more enraged with each passing day, particularly as there is very little he can do in the city.

Elijah has been in contact with some old friends of his. He will not share the details but I believe he is attempting to convince them to use what resources they have to aid our search. With each day, he seems a little more disheartened though so it appears his efforts are not yielding fruit yet. I worry about him more than Klaus. Klaus wears his emotions on display. While those emotions largely seem to be rage, I can see that he is suffering. Elijah grows more withdrawn and I wonder how much longer it will be before he disappears inside his own mind entirely.

How did it go with the Irish witches? Dahlia briefly studied some of their strange magic and I do not trust it. It is undoubtedly powerful but also incredibly volatile and destructive. If the situation was not so desperate, I would strongly advise against pursuing that path. Then again, we all have to do dangerous and demoralizing things for those we love.

I await your next letter eagerly. Each one that arrives fills me with a little burst of sunlight. I know that one day the letter will come with the news we all await. You are strong, Rebekah. You will find her.

All my love

Freya.

* * *

Freya

Your warning was correct, although a little poorly timed. The Irish witches did not provide much help and we may have also incurred their wrath. I say 'may' as I do not know how many of them are left alive after last night. We met with their coven leader but she was far from helpful. She knew of Elena, and it turns out that the witches that Mikael made use of were from their own coven so she was not predisposed to be friendly. We did learn one thing from her, which was Lucien's intention. As Elijah suspected, he is trying to recreate the spell that linked Elena to us and allowed her to birth vampire children. I am now truly glad that Elijah executed the witch who performed the spell when he had his suspicions. We can at least spare Elena that pain.

After the witches refused to help us, Kol fell into one of his moods and he slaughtered all that he could find. We are returning home to regroup, we are truly out of ideas. We have no more leads to follow, no charity events under Lucien's name, no sightings. It is as though Elena and Lucien have vanished from the face of the planet.

Part of me fears that he may have given up on his plan and just ended her life. I do not think he would go to the trouble of taking her and incurring our wrath to abandon his plan though… but I have no way of knowing.

Still, at least this means I will be home for the witches' party. I think that it is stupid that we have to grovel to them and their continued refusal to help infuriates me. Perhaps it would be best if I were to avoid the party come to think of it. I might act as Kol did and slaughter them all.

I know you probably thought of this but I wondered if Elena still had some connection to the dead witches that you could make use of? It is a long shot, particularly since last time she used that connection so was possessed by Esther, but I truly do not know what else to suggest.

Did Elijah mention a name of the friends he was trying to contact? Perhaps I could visit them in person to aid in his persuasion?

Speaking of Elijah, your reports concern me as well. I know my brother, he will throw his entire being into one task and it will consume him to the expense of everything else. Saving Klaus was such a task. When he fails, it inevitably destroys him. He needs you now more than ever. Make sure that he stays strong and does not lose himself. We will be home soon but I am counting on you Freya. You are a rope in their stormy sea and without you they very likely will be lost. Your letters do much the same for me. They ensure I keep my faith, keeping fighting and don't succumb to the temptation to give up. We cannot. Elena needs us.

Rebekah.

* * *

My darling Rebekah

Your return home cannot come soon enough. Elijah has left. His attempts to persuade his friends (he never mentioned a name I'm afraid) were unsuccessful so he went to see them in person. I attempted to dissuade him but he left in the night so I was unable to prevent him. I remain here with Klaus and he is steadily growing more out of control. Please, all speed my sister before we lose control here.

I am sorry that the Irish witches were of no help, although I can't say that I anticipated much different. Now that we know Lucien's goal, I am attempting to compile a list of anyone who might know spells of similar effects that he could exploit. Although, my fear is that we may already be too late. I saw another flash of Elena. She was in a church of bones surrounded by witches. They were incredibly powerful and I was only able to hold contact for a second, not long enough to get a location, but enough to play a minor disruption. I will keep trying. If I got through once, I am confident I will be successful again. Next time I will be better prepared and I will find her. What scared me the most is the things I felt. Elena is fading Rebekah. I fear we do not have much time. Her soul is dying. I felt no light inside of her anymore, just… a black void of emptiness.

I only hope she will last until Halloween and that the witches will agree to find her. With their combined power and the connection they share to her they will be able to overwhelm any blocking spell, I am confident of that.

Your suggestion of the ancestors was a useful one but I am unable to perform such a spell. The ancestors of New Orleans are linked to their witches and I am not bound to them, so I cannot seek their guidance no matter how much I try. The other ancestors are too powerful for me to draw on alone. I would risk being stuck on the other side for eternity and I would be of no use to anyone there. However, I received a message from Jackson. He said that for the past few days a solitary wolf has been seen in the bayou, attempting to lead people somewhere. No one has followed it very far but he believes it may be some kind of message from the wolf elders. They most definitely favoured Elena and I am trying to discern a spell to enable me to find out what the wolf is trying to say.

Perhaps this is an exercise in futility but I have to try. I miss you greatly. Hurry home, sister, we need you.

All my love

Freya


	14. Chapter XIII

**A/N: Ummm… so you may hate me after this chapter. But luckily my review thing seems to have broken as it's not displaying them so I can remain oblivious.**

* * *

That night I put the girls to bed and went to get ready. My heart was pounding in my chest and I had a feeling of nausea rising in my stomach. I didn't want to do this but I had to commit. I would do whatever it took to stop Lucien from getting those rings. I'd give up on going home entirely if I could stop him.

I did my hair and make-up before changing into a black negligee. Think Katherine, I told myself. She'd do this. She'd do whatever it took.

I headed down the hallway to Tristan's room. I stopped outside the bedroom door and went to knock. I hesitated. Did I really want to go down this path? I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and knocked.

There was silence for a moment that seemed to stretch out into an eternity. Then the door opened. Tristan leant against the frame and smiled. He wasn't dressed in his usual suit, instead he was wearing the trousers and the shirt, only half buttoned. I bit my lip.

"Hello Tristan."

"Elena. Please, come in." He stepped aside, letting me in. A small smile played across his lips as I entered hesitantly.

His room was large and decorated with warm wood tones. I perched on the edge of the bed, chewing my lip nervously. No matter how much I told myself that I had to do this, it didn't make the prospect any easier to deal with.

"So," he said, taking a seat in a large armchair facing the bed. "We're here to negotiate."

"Yes."

"Why don't we start with what you want from me and I'll respond with what I want and we can go from there?"

"Okay. Well ideally, I'd like to enlist your help in getting myself and my children away from Lucien and back to the Mikaelsons. However, failing that… you know what Lucien wants from me…?" Of course he did, but I still felt uncomfortable acknowledging Lucien's goal and saying the words.

"Yes."

"Well there's an item in New Orleans that could give him what he wants and I… really don't want him to get hold of it." I decided not to specify the item. If Tristan tried to double cross me, I didn't want him to know what the item was. That way he couldn't exploit it for his own ends.

"So the minimum you want is to have this item retrieved and destroyed?"

"Destroyed, hidden, as long as it's somewhere he can't get to it. What would I need to do to get your help?" Now we were coming to the crux of the matter. I had a churning nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach although I tried hard not to let it show.

He tented his fingers, watching me intently. He looked to be deep in thought but I felt that he knew exactly what he wanted from me already.

"Well naturally, the first thing I'd want is your agreement to join the Strix."

"Just me?"

"For now."

"No. I know you want Lilah but I want her left out of things until she's old enough to make her own decision."

"That's understandable and reasonable. Okay."

"Would you want me as a human? Or would my agreement to join require my transformation?"

"I could be persuaded to keep you human."

"Surely that would make my joining your Strix entirely pointless? I wouldn't be much good as part of your vampire army as a human."

"I don't want you as a soldier Elena."

"I thought that was the whole point of your group."

"No…" He got up and came over to sit beside me. "It was created as a group of likeminded individuals who wanted to affect change and meet with people of similar tastes."

"And you only want me because I had sex with Elijah and had a kid because of someone else's spells"

"You don't give yourself enough credit. You are a beautiful, talented, intelligent individual who managed to ally one of the most infamously warring cities around. Wolves, vampires and witches kneel before you Elena. I want to restore you to your glory."

"Why?"

"My reasons are my own."

"Okay. Do you have any other conditions…?"

"Well, I know what I want…" His hand rested on my knee. "As I've said, you're very beautiful. But I'm not like Lucien, I won't make you."

"But if I… would that get you to help me?"

"It certainly wouldn't hurt."

I bit my lip and in my head I said a silent apology to the men I loved. I leaned forward and kissed Tristan softly. He kissed me back. His kiss was firm, knowing what he wanted and how to get it. His hands went to my waist, pulling me closer to him. I looked up at him.

"Just this one time… right?"

"Yes. I wouldn't expect anything else."

"Okay then."

I returned to kissing him. He lowered me back onto the bed, never breaking the kiss. His hands moved down to the hem of my negligee and then up underneath the soft fabric. I couldn't help a small shudder, too used to Lucien's rough violating touches. Tristan's hands were nothing like his, they were soft and considerate, thinking each action through before performing it. I knew that he wouldn't allow me to just lie there. He wasn't like Lucien, the act wasn't enough for him. He wanted me willing, he wanted me as a participant not a body. I reached up and unbuttoned his shirt, letting my hands run over the contours of his chest.

He pulled back to shrug off his shirt and I used the opportunity to move further back into the middle of the bed. He came over and lay beside me. His arms encircled me but the action didn't feel restraining like when Lucien held me. There was an undercurrent of possessiveness but I had room to move. He ran his fingers through my hair, kissing me once more. His other hand explored the curves of my body, coming up to cup my breast. I closed my eyes, letting him do as he pleased. I undid his trousers and pushed them down and he moved on top of me once more.

"Elena, please open your eyes." He said softly. "I am not going to have sex with a woman who behaves like a corpse."

I opened my eyes.

"Please remember that I've spent five years with a guy whose idea of foreplay is to slap me and push me face first into a wall."

"Yes well I have a very different technique if you'll let me."

"By all means Casanova."

He kicked off his trousers and his briefs while I slipped my negligee off over my head. I was trying to channel Katherine, to act seductive but I felt like a teenager losing her virginity. He moved his mouth to my breasts and kissed and sucked lightly at the flesh there before descending down my stomach. He took hold of my underwear in his teeth and tore it off with a sharp tug. I let out a startled noise and half sat up. He placed a hand on my chest, lightly pushing me back down and gave me a wicked grin.

He moved down between my legs, kissing along my thigh. He rubbed me softly, taking his time to warm me up. His mouth continued to move between my thighs as his fingers gently probed my entrance. He pushed one in slowly, his thumb rubbing my clit softly as he did so. I felt a brief moment of pain in my leg but it was quickly replaced by pleasure. He continued, working slowly until I was a moaning mess. He pulled back and kissed me softly. I tasted a peculiar coppery taste on his tongue.

He looked down at me with unreadable eyes and I felt more vulnerable than I ever had before. He rested his weight on his forearms so I felt him against me without being crushed. He ground against me slowly before entering me in one long movement. I moaned softly, resting my hands on his shoulders. He gripped one of my legs, hooking it around his waist. His movements were calculated, his touches somewhere between tender and firm. Each thrust was precise and pushed a soft moan from my lips. His own mouth moved to my neck and sucked lightly at my pulse point. One hand moved to caress the curve of my hip, his thumb running along the dip of my bone. I felt myself lifting my hips, wanting to feel more, wanting him deeper. My entire being felt like a slow fire was burning inside of me, growing in size as it consumed more of my body.

He built in speed and intensity, growing rougher but still keeping control. I bit into my lip, hard enough to draw blood and he brought his mouth back to mine, crashing against me in a furious kiss that smeared the stray blood like lipstick. The candles that lit the room seemed to be getting brighter and Tristan's soft grunts coupled with my own moans filled my head, overwhelming my brain. I could feel my pleasure building.

I let out a loud cry as he brought me to my climax. I felt like I was falling, like I'd been holding onto a rope that had now been cut and I was tumbling backwards into a great abyss. I slumped back into the pillows, breathing hard, as he continued thrusting until he reached his own orgasm, my name cresting his lips as he did so.

He cradled me against him for a moment, our bodies joined as one, before he rolled off of me and lay beside me, wrapping an arm around me as we caught our breath. I felt tears on my cheek and although I tried to wipe them away they began to flow faster and heavier. Tristan looked at me and frowned.

"Why are you crying? Was it that bad?" he asked.

"No… it was… good… great…" I wiped my eyes. "I feel like I've betrayed them."

"Don't. You're just trying to make the best of a bad situation. It's not fair to put this much pressure on yourself." He wiped some stray tears from my cheek. "Humans need physical contact, they need affection, and they need to be held. You've spent five years in fear and pain. You deserve something good."

I rested my head on his chest. I had known that I wouldn't feel good but it was far worse than I expected. The way Tristan had touched me and held me… it almost made it worse in a way. I couldn't just look on it as something I needed to do to. It had become something that I had enjoyed. And now I felt sick to my very core with what I had done.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tristan asked.

"No, that'll just make me feel worse… you need to stop being nice to me."

"No." He propped himself up on his elbow. "I like you Elena. And I want to look out for you. If you need to talk, you should. If you need someone to hold you, then tell me. But I'm not going to stop being nice to you."

"You confuse me Tristan."

"Good. That'll keep you on your toes." He grinned. "I'll make arrangements for your initiation in the morning. And I'll see what I can do about getting you back home."

"Thank you." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "You know I'm surprised Lucien hasn't come back yet in a fit if your witches keep stalling him."

"Oh he's getting very angry but he knows my witches are the best. That's why he came to me even though he hates me. And they're stalling but they're feeding him a little bit of information at a time to keep him placated."


	15. Chapter XIV

I was woken by a loud knocking on the bedroom door. I blinked, disorientated. The light was dim, the curtains closed tight and made of a thick material that blocked the light, leaving only a few stray rays that managed to peek around it. I half sat up and saw Tristan asleep beside me. He stirred and his eyes half opened. A smile formed on his lips as he looked up at me.

"Good morning…" He went to close his eyes and go back to sleep when the knocking registered. He frowned and sat up. I gathered the sheets around me, covering myself as he got out of the bed and went to the door. He opened it and over his shoulder I saw red hair.

"Tristan! I was wondering if we could go for a walk! It's going to rain!"

"Umm… Aurora could this wait a little? I was sleeping."

"Sleeping? But you don't sleep this late."

"It's still early my love. I will join you in a while, I promise." He leant against the doorframe in a way that prevented Aurora from seeing very much of the room. I sank down in the bed, hoping that the limited light would help to conceal me.

"Promise?"

"I promise." He kissed her cheek and then stepped back, closing the door. He stood there for a moment, head cocked as though he was listening to something I couldn't hear. I waited quietly until I saw his body relax and he came back over to the bed.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes."

"You talk in your sleep. Were you dreaming?"

"Yeah… I have nightmares most nights. Since Lucien took me."

"Were you have a nightmare last night?" I tried to remember but all that came to mind were a haze of unfamiliar images.

"I'm not sure…"

He climbed back onto the bed, offered his hand to me. I smiled slightly and took it. He grinned and pulled me against him.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"A little better. Still a bit guilty but I guess that's inevitable." He kissed my forehead.

"Don't worry, we'll get you home soon, I promise."

"You're going to help me?"

"Of course I am."

"You're a good person Tristan." He chuckled softly.

"I'm really not."

"Well I think you are."

"Thank you. There are many people who would disagree with you but I appreciate it." He stretched. "What are you plans for the day?"

"I thought I might go for a walk, take the girls. Take advantage of my freedom before Lucien comes back and puts me under house arrest again." I was also hoping to see Ansel again, if he was still around. I knew Lilah would like that. Maybe we could even take some meat. I didn't know if he needed to eat in his weird half ghost state but I thought it would be a nice gesture. "You?"

"Well I have to spend some time with my sister and assure her that she is still my one and only love. But before that, I need to speak with my witches."

"I'll leave you to it." I got up. "Did my clothes survive the night?"

"I'm not sure." He sat up. "Take one of my shirts. That'll keep you decent until you get back to your room."

"Thanks." I grabbed a shirt and slipped it on. "See you later."

"Oh most definitely."

I left the room and went to mine to get changed before heading to the girls. They were awake, Lilah was reading and Blair was playing with her toy fox. They smiled happily when they saw me. I could see that this time had been good for them. Lilah was already putting on weight and looked less gaunt. Even Blair, who'd never suffered Lucien's assaults, seemed happier.

"Would you two like to go for a walk with me?" I asked. They nodded excitedly and scrambled to their feet. Lilah held up her toy wolf and looked at me questioningly. I smiled. "Maybe. If we're lucky."

I helped them get dressed and we went downstairs. I slipped into the kitchen and fetched some assorted bits of meat from the fridge, shoving them into a bag before re-joining my children. We headed out to the garden and began to walk slowly, keeping to the borders where the grass faded into the trees.

We reached a point where the trees grew thicker and Lilah stopped abruptly. I smiled slightly and knelt got some meat from the bag, distributing it between the two of them. Lilah knelt down automatically and held out her hand. Blair seemed less certain.

"Blair, sweetie, just stay still and quiet. We might get to meet someone special." I told her. She nodded nervously and copied her sister. Slowly, a furry nose protruded from the bushes followed by Ansel's head. I smiled and watched as he stepped forward, licking Lilah's cheek affectionately. He turned to me. I knelt down and rested my forehead against his. He whined happily and wagged his tail.

"I'm working on getting us home," I murmured softly. "I promise. It won't be much longer."

He pulled back and went to eat the meat that the girls offered him. I sat back. Something dug into my leg from within my pocket and I frowned slightly, slipping my hand inside. I found the Mikaelson necklace tucked away. I turned it over in my hand and an idea came to mind.

"Ansel?" I asked softly. He looked over at me. "I want you to take this."

He came over and bowed his head. I carefully fastened the necklace around his throat. I wasn't sure why. Maybe he'd be able to get it back to them and show that I was still alive. Maybe it would just be a reminder of our connection.

He wagged his tail before stiffening abruptly and darting back into the trees. I got up and looked around to see Aurora approaching us. I put the remaining meat back in the bag and wiped my hands on my jeans.

"Hello Elena," she said. "Hello little ones! What are you doing out here?"

"We were just having a walk Aurora."

"With a bag of meat?"

"Well… Lilah heard a wolf the other night so we thought we'd try to lure it out. She had a crazy idea of keeping it as a pet." I silently prayed that Blair wouldn't say anything and uncover my lie.

"Oh you like animals? You should come and see my pets!"

"No, we're fine…"

"Oh I insist!" She smile brightly and took Blair's hand. I frowned and reluctantly followed her as she headed to a small out building. She opened the door and I was hit with the smell of sawdust. I looked around to see a number of cages stacked around the room, some large and some small. Aurora released Blair's hand and the girls scampered off a little way to investigate. Aurora leant against a wall and carefully unlocked one of the cages. Inside were a number of large rats, squirming and squeaking loudly. I grimaced and looked away.

"You don't like rats Elena?" Aurora asked, picking up a small brown rat from the group and holding it carefully.

"They're not my favourite creature, no."

"I quite like them." She turned the animal over in her hand. "You know, my brother and I are very close."

"I had noticed that."

"For a long time, we only had each other. We can only rely on one another. I love him and he loves me, more than anyone else. And that is the way it will remain. If anyone were to come between us… well, I would be very upset." She tightened her grip on the rat and it began to squeal in distress. She locked eyes with me. "I would hate for you to make me upset Elena. Because then I'd be forced to hurt you."

She held up the rat in one hand. It squirmed wildly, trying to snap at her fingers. She very carefully and pointedly placed her nail on its furry belly before slowly driving it into its soft flesh. I resisted the urge to gag and tried to keep my face passive as she impaled the rat on her finger.

"Do we have an understanding Elena?"

"We do. You don't have to worry about me, I'm getting out of here as soon as I can."

"Excellent," she smiled brightly and tossed the rat into another cage where it was immediately pounced upon by a large menacing snake. I felt sick in my stomach. I knew that Lucien and Tristan had said she was jealous. I hadn't realized quite how much. "Back to your kingdom?"

I made a non-committal noise in response and looked over to the girls. Lilah had wandered over during the course of our conversation and was staring at Aurora, her face set in a fierce scowl. Aurora raised an eyebrow.

"Is there something wrong little one?" she asked. Lilah pointed at the half eaten rat in the cage and then at Aurora. She glared and for a second her pupils seemed to contract, her eyes taking on a faint gold hue. She shook her head slowly in a way that seemed to say to Aurora 'you did a very bad thing'. Then she turned and left the building with Blair following behind her. Aurora seemed momentarily taken aback by her behaviour but she quickly replaced her mask of composure.

"You should teach her to be better behaved. Misbehaving children are likely to get hurt."

"If you touch my children, you will meet a very swift and painful end." The words come out instinctively and although I knew they would only enrage her, I didn't care.

"Are you trying to threaten me Elena?"

"No of course not Aurora. I'm not trying to do anything. I am tell you. That if you lay one finger on my children. If you even make them scared. I will hunt you to the ends of the earth, find you and destroy you with no more difficulty or thought than how you killed that rat."

She regarded me silently. I turned away and left the building. The girls were waiting outside. Lilah's eyes had returned to normal. It had started to rain, not heavily but enough that our clothes would quickly be soaked. I lifted my girls into my arms and strode towards the main house.

Fuck Aurora. I had meant every word. If she tried anything, I would shove a stake in her heart before she could draw breath. I hoped it wouldn't come to that. I had Tristan on my side. He was going to help me get home. I had intended not to trust him quite as much as I did. I knew that I was on a slippery slope and there was a high likelihood that I would tumble down into the abyss and if he turned out to be traitorous, I'd have no chance to free myself. But it was hard. He was nice to me, something that was getting rarer and rarer. And he reminded me so much of Elijah, it was hard not to let my feelings for the Mikaelson brother cloud my feelings and my judgement when it came to Tristan.

I took the girls inside and changed them into dry clothes. The guilt in my stomach had disappeared. I was doing the right thing. I was doing what I had to do, to be strong, to protect my girls and get them home.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry it's not longer but I'm having a really rough weekend and I know that my emotions will end up impacting on the characters if I'm not careful. I wanted to write something though because I figured it's better to hurt fictional characters rather than myself. Sorry if the chapter is no good.**


	16. Chapter XV

_October 15th 2016_

 _Dear Freya,_

 _I am sorry for my abrupt departure. I knew that had I waited and said goodbye, you would only have tried to stop me._

 _I am nearing my destination. I have stopped for the evening in a village near the manor where my friend currently resides. I could easily reach it tonight however my hunger is growing so I feel that it is better to stop. I will sate my thirst and rest. I know that there is a gathering planned for tomorrow night and I intend to gate crash. I know it may seem counter intuitive to do this when there are more people there as I am aware that my visit will be unwelcome and my contact will not be pleased by my appearance, however I wish to show the guests what a coward their host is. Maybe I will be able to shame him into helping this way._

 _This country is beautiful. It lies somewhere between the past and the present, wild and tamed. From my room I heard wolves howling. Three in the forest and then a lone wolf further up the mountains. It sounded so sad. I feel pity for the poor creature, wherever it is. Perhaps it too has been separated from someone it loves._

 _The full moon is tomorrow night. The sound reminded me. If this letter reaches you in time, tell Jackson to follow his wolf visitor should it appear again. Perhaps as a wolf himself, he will be able to see what we cannot._

 _Once again, I apologise for my departure. I hope Niklaus is behaving himself. I promise I will not be gone long but I cannot continue to sit at home and do nothing._

 _All my love,_

 _Elijah._

* * *

There was a knock at the bedroom door. I opened it to see one of Tristan's maids.

"Yes?"

"You have a visitor, Miss. Downstairs."

"Umm… thanks." I looked at the girls, who were drawing together. "You two stay here, I'll be back soon."

I followed the maid downstairs and spotted one of the sisters standing in the entrance hall.

"Hi…?" I asked tentatively. "You're… Ariane? Right?"

"Yes, that's me."

"Did you want Tristan? I can get him for you."

"No!" I frowned. "I was hoping I could talk to you?"

"Umm, sure I guess." I led her into the library which I figured would give us a level of privacy. "What can I do for you?"

She perched on the arm of a chair and looked down at her hands before looking back up at me.

"When you visited us, you exhibited a strange kind of power that I've not witnessed before and I wanted to discuss it with you."

"Why?"

"I joined the sisters for a number of reason, one of them being a desire to learn about all types of magic. You're not a witch are you?"

"No. I had magic for a little bit when I was pregnant but that was my children's not mine. And it left my system after their birth. I mean, I'm not human. I'm a doppelganger so my existence in general has magic to it but it's not magic I can make use of."

"It's something else that I feel. A great untapped power."

"I understand wanting to learn but I'm not a witch, even if I have magic, I can't make use of it. It seems kind of pointless to look into it."

"Nothing's pointless. Everything has a purpose, a meaning. And while you may not be able to perform spells, magic has many other uses."

"Right…"

"I am a seer, I know the future and yours is very dark Elena. I would advise that you learn more about your own powers and limitations if you have any hopes of overcoming it." She got up and touched my hand "Believe me."

She pulled back and her nail caught on my skin, scratching me slightly. I frowned and tucked my hands away.

"I don't know what to tell you. Maybe it's cause I died." I was being sarcastic but Ariane froze as I spoke.

"You died?"

"Well… not exactly. I was connected to this vampire and I stabbed myself in the chest so that he would die. And he died but I am alive."

"That could certainly account for it… It's rare for people to be brought back from death without considerable magical effort."

"I was found by werewolves. No witches involved."

"Hmm… Thank you for this Elena. It's given me a great deal to think about."

"Well if you come up with an answer, let me know."

I opened the library door and let her out. She seemed distracted, deep in thought. Tristan was crossing the main hall and he paused when he saw Ariane with me.

"Ariane?" He said.

"Oh… hello Tristan."

"Can I help you with something?"

"No, I was just leaving." She hurried to the door, suddenly visibly afraid. Tristan looked at me and then looked at Ariane, frowning. Keeping his eyes on the witch, he pulled his phone from his pocket and texted something.

Ariane left the building and Tristan turned to me, a smile forming.

"Everything okay Elena?"

"Yeah. Just… weird witches."

"Anything I need to be concerned about?"

"No. I'm more concerned about your sister if I'm honest."

He crossed over to me quickly and touched my hand. His eyes ran over me in a way that reminded me of how Elijah used to check me for injuries whenever anything bad happened.

"Did she hurt you?"

"No. She threatened me. And I threatened her. She was worried I'm getting close to you."

"She's used to being the centre of my universe. I told you before that she has issues with jealousy."

"Yes but I thought that only applied to Klaus. I didn't think she'd be the same when it came to you. But it doesn't matter. I have no intention of breaking up your pseudo-incestuous relationship with your sister."

Tristan smiled slightly, looking like he was suppressing the desire to laugh.

"Elena, you're starting to sound like a jealous girlfriend."

We were only a few inches apart. I smiled to myself and took a step closer, closing the tiny space between us. I stood on my tiptoes so that my lips almost brushed his.

"You wish Tristan," I whispered.

I went back upstairs and into the girls' room. They were still drawing. I went over and sat beside them to see what they'd drawn. Lilah smiled brightly at me and lifted her picture to let me get a better view.

"That's lovely darling." I bit my lip. "I have an idea. Why don't you two do an extra special picture and we'll try to send it to your daddies?"

"Mama, why don't our daddies live with us?" Blair asked innocently.

"Umm… it's complicated." They both looked at me expectantly, clearly wanting more. I bit my lip. I'd told them stories before about their fathers, but I'd never really told them the facts of how we came to be separated. I'd always figured they were too young to understand. Then again, they were very smart for their age. "Okay, you want me to tell you?"

"Yes please mama!"

The two of them clambered into my lap. I played with their hair, deep in thought of how to explain this.

"A long time ago, when you were just babies, we all lived together. We lived in a big city called New Orleans. And your mommy was queen of the city. There were lots of different people who lived there. There were vampires, like Lucien and Tristan. There were werewolves. There were witches. And I was so happy. We all were. But then… a bad man… a monster… decided to take us prisoner. Because he wanted to be… a king of his own kingdom. And he took you two because he knew that I loved you so much that I would do anything to stay with you. And your daddies couldn't come with us because if they did, the bad man would hurt us. But… we'll be home soon, I promise. Mommy is going to make sure we get home."

They both sat silently, snuggled up against me. I stroked their hair. All my doubts had completely gone about what I'd done with Tristan. The way he'd acted earlier… maybe I'd been a bit too convincing with my act. I wasn't trying to make him have feelings for me. I knew that I could use it to my advantage though. I couldn't let myself get caught up in it. I simply had to switch myself off. I would do what I needed to, I'd use him however I had to. He'd been nice to me but my children needed their family.

"Can I show you something?" I asked them. The girls nodded. I moved them off my lap, got to my feet and led them to the window. The sun was starting to set. I placed them both on the sill so they could see out, watching as the sun slowly disappeared. "In our family, there are four brothers. Three are vampires. The other is a little bit of a vampire and a little bit of a werewolf. And wolves are very special. They look after their family. They never give up. And you two both are part of the werewolf family. And they will always look after you." I opened the window. "All three of us are part of the wolf pack. And we can talk to them anytime, and they will hear us."

I brought my hands up to my mouth, closed my eyes and howled into the air. My cry faded and I waited. After a moment of silence, faint howls sounded from the trees around the garden. First one, then more. Lilah's face lit up and she looked at me excitedly.

"See? They hear us. They want us to know that they're here for us."

Lilah moved into a better position on the ledge and closed her eyes. She opened her mouth and howled softly. The sound was more animal than human. A melancholic song that carried across the trees. I leaned against the window, my arms wrapped around Blair, listening to Lilah's song.


	17. Chapter XVI

The next morning I woke up early, as the sun was filtering in through my curtains. I got up and decided to head to the girls room. I opened the door and frowned when I registered a large package on the floor outside. I frowned and picked it up, heading back inside to investigate it.

I set the box down on the bed. It was black, tied with a deep crimson ribbon. There was an emblem in gold on the box lid, obscured by the ribbon. I eyed the box warily, almost fearful that something monstrous would erupt from it and attack me. I reached over and tugged slowly at the ribbon. It fell loose. I could see now that the gold symbol was in the shape of an owl. I lifted the lid. Inside was a dress. It had a pale gold bodice, covered in green beading that formed intricate patterns, and a deep green skirt. There was a pair of matching green shoes, jewellery and on top of the dress an envelope with the same owl symbol. I opened it and found a card inside.

 _Elena  
8pm tonight.  
Tristan_

It took me a minute to realize what was going on. My initiation to the Strix. Ah… fuck. I was hoping I'd have a little bit longer to mentally prepare for this. Tristan had put things together quickly… like, really quickly. It was almost like he'd been expecting me to say yes.

I had the rest of the day to prepare and I decided not to waste that. I had no idea what was going to happen but I wasn't going to risk being at a disadvantage. I got dressed, retrieved a garter belt from the pile of lace things and tucked it into the box along with a letter opener. I left the room, got the girls up and headed downstairs. Tristan was in the dining room, in conversation with an unfamiliar woman. I assumed she was helping him get things ready for the evening.

"Hey, is Aya around today?"

"Yes, she is, why?"

"I want to train with her."

"Alright then…" he smirked slightly, clearly seeing what I was up to. "Aya!"

Aya appeared at the door. She looked at me.

"I had a feeling you'd be wanting me today. Come on then."

She led me to the training room. The girls sat in the corner and I took my spot opposite Aya.

"You know that things are going to get rough tonight?"

"Of course. I want to be ready. No holding back."

"I never do."

* * *

We started training. I put every ounce of my effort into it. I wanted to be ready. Aya worked me harder and longer than before and I could tell she wanted me to be ready as well. We worked until I was drenched in sweat and everything ached and kept going.

It was only when the sky began to darken that we finally stopped. I was exhausted but I hid it. I didn't speak, just nodded to Aya. I led the girls, who had been brought food, up to their bedroom. I wanted to make sure that they were safely out of the way before anyone arrived. I helped them change into their pyjamas and tucked them into bed.

"You two need to be very good tonight. Stay together, stay in bed. Promise me?"

They both nodded. I kissed their heads and left the room. Time to get myself ready. I could hear things being set up downstairs, voices and the faint sounds of instruments tuning.

I went back to my room and ran a hot bath. I figured it would help with my aches and make them easier to handle. I undressed, got in the bath and closed my eyes. Tonight would be rough but I was determined. I'd get through this.

I focused on my breathing. If there was magic inside of me, now would be a great time for it to materialize. Come on… come on Elena… magic time!

Nothing happened. I sighed and got out of the bath. I had to get ready. I dried off and did my hair before going over to the box on the bed. I put on my underwear, slipped on the garter and tucked the letter opener into it. I was armed and ready. The noises from downstairs were getting louder. People were starting to arrive. I sighed and put on my dress, finishing up with my make-up. I ignored the jewellery that Tristan had provided and instead wore Ansel's pendant. I needed the courage it provided.

I could do this. I had to. That was what I had to keep telling myself.

I left my room as the clock struck eight. I made my way to the stairs and descended slowly. Tristan really had gone all out. Everyone was dressed in their finery and there were performers dotted around as well as servers with trays of drinks. People were dancing and having a good time. They barely acknowledged my presence which relieved me. I'd been worried that there would be an immediate change to the atmosphere upon my arrival, a sign of the impending doom to come.

I made an effort to mingle and act relaxed, moving between the open rooms. I took a drink and pretended like I was just another person having fun. In reality though, I was on edge and hyper vigilant. I remembered what Tristan had said about the initiation, that they took something important off you during the evening. I kept my eye on anyone who came too close, making sure that they didn't touch me. I knew if they took something off me, I needed to be able to identify who had done it. I wondered how long they'd keep trying for and if they'd eventually give up when they kept failing.

"May I have this dance Elena?" Tristan asked, approaching me. "You've been a bit of a wallflower all evening."

"I suppose one dance wouldn't be too bad."

I set down my glass which I'd been nursing through most of the evening. I took his hand and let him lead me onto the dance floor. He placed a hand on my waist and we gently swayed to the music.

"Are you having a good time?"

"I'd probably enjoy it more if I wasn't trying to keep an eye on one hundred plus people, any of whom could be trying to steal my stuff."

"You'll do fine Elena, I have faith in you." He smiled and spun me. "You're skilled. You can use your skills to get through any trial."

"Well that makes all the difference." I laughed softly. "Is Aurora here tonight?" I could imagine that she'd be more than happy to steal from me.

"No, she's resting." I knew Aurora would never willingly stay away from the party and I remembered a comment Lucien had made in the past.

"Is resting code for pumped full of vampire sedatives?"

"It is."

"Well at least that's one thing I don't need to worry about tonight."

The song came to the end. He bowed and took a step back. He picked up a glass from a tray and tapped on it, calling for silence.

"Ladies and gentlemen."

Everyone gathered around him, all wearing similar expressions of excited anticipation. I bit my lip and hovered nearby.

"Tonight we have a new member who hopes to join our illustrious ranks. We have artists, authors, warriors. People from all walks of life, all uniquely skilled. We have all fought hard to be here, we have all been tested and been successful. Elena," he turned to me. "Tonight while you've been here, one of our number has taken something of great value to you. Or should I say… two somethings."

My heart plummeted to the pit of my stomach at that. Surely he wouldn't.

"Tristan… you promised…"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now, if I were you I'd get a move on, this is a bit of a time sensitive test." He looked at the clock. "You've got till… dawn, I'd say."

"You are so fucking dead…"

I ran upstairs. Surely he wouldn't have. He couldn't…

I reached the girls room and opened the door. Their beds were open and I felt like I was going to throw up. I was doing this to protect my twins and they'd been put in more danger because I'd been stupid. I should have known that if Tristan wanted to take something valuable off me, something as valuable as a daylight ring would be to a vampire, he wouldn't take something I wore. He'd take my girls.

I gritted my teeth. I stormed off downstairs and through the main hall. Everyone was watching me with interest, eager to see what I'd do next. The building and the grounds were huge. If I was going to find them, then I'd need to enlist a little bit of help. They wanted me to use my skills? Well I was going to use my fucking skills.

I went out to the garden, taking off my shoes so that I could move quicker. I stepped onto the damp grass and looked up at the full moon. The Strix gathered at the doorway, looking a little confused by my actions. I put one hand on my throat, running my fingers over the curve of Ansel's pendant. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and howled loudly and clearly at the sky. I heard a murmur run through the group behind me. I ignored them, took another breath and howled again.

I heard the pad of footsteps on grass and a soft gasp from behind me, followed by a faint growl. I opened my eyes, expecting to see Ansel. He was stood there but behind him were a handful of other wolves, watching me with golden eyes. I smiled and turned to Tristan who was stood at the door.

"You want me to use my skills? I guarantee that if my children are harmed Tristan, if you break your promise… these wolves won't have to go far to get their dinner." I ran my eyes over all the vampires assembled. The wolves echoed my sentiment, growling softly. I turned back to Ansel and knelt down. I stroked him softly. "Find them."

Ansel nodded, barked once and sprinted off, the wolves following him. I watched them quietly, listening intently. After a few minutes, one of them let out a howl. I took that to mean that he'd found the scent. I grinned. That was my boy.

I hurried over to where the wolves had gathered. They were a little way into the woods, by a small cabin. Smoke came from the chimney and I could see candlelight through the window. I went over to the door and kicked hard, knocking it down.

"Mama!"

I couldn't help but feel relieved. They were both there and both seemed to be unharmed, sitting at a small wooden table next to an old fashioned stove. A huge hulking man was stood nearby. I felt my nausea and nerves start up again but I pushed it down into the pit of my stomach. I didn't wait for him to react, to give him a chance to attack. I pulled the knife from my garter, darted forward and pressed the knife to his chest, directly over his heart.

A slow applause came from the door. I looked over and saw that Tristan and his company had followed me.

"Well done Elena. That was incredibly quick. Very… skilled. You better finish him off then." I considered for a moment. My daughters were watching me, eyes widened. I noticed a plate of cookies in front of them, their teddy bears tucked in their arms. They weren't hurt. They weren't even scared. But if they saw me kill a man?

"No."

"What?" said one of the vampires.

"No. You all bring your own skills right? You're all talented? Well I'm merciful. I'm not going to punish someone for doing what their leader told them too. Although I might have to stab him while he sleeps, his lackey doesn't deserve death." I released the man. "Unless he's going to try and provoke me?"

The man didn't move. I went over to the girls and gave them a friendly smile, offering my hands. They got up obediently, taking my hands. Ansel slipped past the vampires and gave Lilah's hand a quick nuzzle. The four of us headed back outside. Ansel stayed at our side, ready to attack if any of the vampires decided to try and stop us. None of them did. They parted like the red sea and let me through.

I took the girls back to the house. Ansel stopped outside. I nodded to him and he scampered off into the trees with the other wolves he'd brought forward. I smiled to myself before heading back inside. I took the girls upstairs and back to their room. They seemed perfectly calm, clearly not upset by their pseudo kidnapping. I was still angry at Tristan, but it was waning a little. He hadn't intended to hurt the girls. He just knew that they were the best way of getting me to show what I could do.

I kissed them softly and tucked them back into their beds. I didn't want to leave them again, I didn't want to face the vampires who were probably furious about how I messed with their little game. I'd have to keep the knife on me.

I went to the door, took a moment to compose and prepare myself before stepping out onto the hallway once again. I'd only gone a few steps when I ran into Tristan's chest.

"Elena!"

"Tristan," I said curtly.

"I wanted to apologise… I… I know that it was cruel but I knew there was no way of doing the test otherwise. The rest of them would never have accepted you if the stakes weren't the same. I didn't even want to take Lilah. I promised to leave her out of things and I intended to keep that promise. She refused to be separated from Blair though and, well, who are we to refuse the will of Elijah's only daughter?" He gave me a sheepish smile.

"Don't play Tristan. It doesn't suit you. You knew what you're were doing. And yes, you should probably sleep with one eye open. But the girls are alright. You didn't harm them. They weren't even scared. I understand why you did it, even if I hate that you did it."

He touched my cheek lightly.

"Please forgive me?"

"I'll think about it."

"Would you come back for the rest of the party at least? You passed the test, we have to welcome you officially."

"Do I have to?"

"No but… I'd appreciate it."

I considered for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Alright. I suppose." He smiled brightly and took my arm. We started down the hallway when a tremendous bang came from downstairs. Tristan froze and pressed me back into the shadows of the hallway. It had fallen silent downstairs and I tensed, waiting to see what happened. A moment later, a furious voice ripped through the silence.

"TRISTAN DE MARTEL!"

* * *

 **A/N: I appreciate that the past few chapters (particularly the last one) have been a bit short so I worked really hard to try and get this one to a decent length and get it up tonight (despite wanting to sleep so badly as I'm on the early shift at work. ENJOY!**


	18. Chapter XVII

"TRISTAN DE MARTEL!"

The voice was loud and familiar and it sent a sharp pain through my heart, accompanied by a pang of longing. I was moving before I knew what I was doing, my body acting of my own accord. Tristan saw me move and grabbed hold of my arm, pulling me back.

"Elena, no, please," he hissed.

"It's Elijah, I can go home!"

"Yes, but if you go running down there, he'll think I had something to do with your abduction. He won't listen, he will kill us all. Please… give me five minutes to talk to him before you rush off." He looked into my eyes. "Trust me."

I hesitated. Every part of me yearned to rush to Elijah, to be swept up in his arms and carried off, never to look back. But… Tristan hadn't done anything wrong. He didn't deserve to die. And I knew that Elijah could be lethal when he was angry.

"Okay."

"Thank you."

He hurried off down the corridor and disappeared down the stairs. I watched and, although I'd promised to stay upstairs, I couldn't help but creep forward a little. I needed to see him.

I stopped at the edge of the stairs, were the rooms stopped. I knelt down and peeked around the wall, through the gaps in the bannisters. I could see Elijah by the door and I felt that same pang of longing. He looked older, even though I knew that wasn't possible. He was dressed as imposingly as ever in a completely black suit. The members of the Strix that were gathered had formed a loose circle around him, keeping their distance. Only Aya dared breach the gap, standing a few steps forward from the others.

"Elijah Mikaelson," said Tristan, moving down the stairs. "You really don't need to make such a racket."

"Well given that you've been ignoring my calls and my letters, I thought you might be too afraid to show your face."

Aya laughed coldly.

"No one here is afraid of you Elijah," she said. "We know the stories. You've gone soft."

"Is that so, Aya? Is that why you gather without me?"

"No, we gather without you Elijah because you are not one of us. You abandoned us," said Tristan. "And that is the same reason I declined to get involved in your little spat with Lucien."

"Little spat…? Do you really think I would enlist the help of the likes of you if I had any other choice?"

"What's made you so desperate Elijah? Could it be that all the rumours coming out of New Orleans are true?" Tristan stepped closer. I frowned. Surely he was just going to make Elijah madder if he continued like this? But… he told me to trust him, so he must have some kind of plan. "If those rumours were to be true Elijah, it would probably be a very bad idea to advertise. I imagine that your… special lady would run into all kinds of trouble if word were to get out about what she could do. Perhaps it would be wise for you to step into my office rather than continue to make a fool of yourself in front of people who used to respect you."

That was his plan. He wanted to get Elijah away from the others so that they could talk and Tristan could protect his people. It made sense now.

Elijah smiled but it was a dark smile that didn't reach his eyes. He stepped forward and closed the gap between himself and Tristan.

"I made you. You wouldn't have this, any of this without me. These people, only exist because of me. You should show a little respect."

"Why would we respect you, Elijah? Yes, you helped turn us. But this, all of this is ours. You're nothing."

I could see the tensions were growing and I decided that I might be able to do a better job of defusing the situation. As long as I made enough impact, I'd hopefully be able to keep Elijah calm long enough to explain Tristan's role in things. I got to my feet slowly.

"You. Do. Not. Talk. To. Me. That. Way!" Elijah snarled.

I froze on the spot. I wanted to move but it was as though my limbs had seized up. My skin turned cold, my heart began to pound against my chest and I felt like the air had been sucked from my lungs. The walls seemed to loom impossibly tall over me, closing in. I sank to my knees, my breath coming in frantic pants. I dug my fingers into my arms, trying to ground myself with the pain. I rocked back and forth. In my head I could see Lucien in front of me, my blood on his hands, and anger in his eyes.

"I'm all you've got," he snarled.

"No… no… no…" I murmured.

I could hear shouting and banging from downstairs. It was impossibly loud, deafening me. Lucien crouched down, his face inches from mine. His hand touched my cheek and although I knew he wasn't really there, I swore I could feel his hands on my skin. I closed my eyes and covered my ears, pressing myself firmly against the wall, continuing to rock.

Gradually the sounds faded and blissful silence returned. I opened my eyes slowly and let my hands fall to my side. The hall was empty. I got to my feet slowly, my legs shaking. I moved to the balcony and looked down. I wasn't sure how long I'd been trapped in my strange frozen terror but Elijah was gone. I was expecting to see blood and bodies everywhere but the place seemed more or less intact, although now empty.

I wandered through the empty rooms, searching for Tristan. I eventually found him in the library with Aya. They were talking quietly and when I entered, Tristan looked up sharply.

"Oh Elena, it's just you."

"What happened?"

"Elijah… lost his temper. I'm sorry, I mishandled the situation. I was hoping to get him away from the others and discuss the matter privately, to minimise the damage and allow rational conversation but…"

"I heard that part. I… I blacked out, I think… did he hurt anyone?"

"Nothing permanent," said Aya. "He's strong but he knows when he is out numbered."

Tristan came over and gently touched my arm.

"I am very sorry Elena. Don't worry, my promise still stands. You will get home. It just… needs some sorting out."

"It's fine…" I turned away and left quickly, heading back up the stairs to my room. I sat down on the bed and stared into space for a minute. I felt a choking sob rise in my throat and tears began to flow. Seeing Elijah, it had made everything more real, more painful. I missed them but I'd buried the emotions deep inside to prevent myself from going insane. And now I'd see him, I couldn't keep those feelings buried any longer. The tears flowed thicker and faster and I wailed in desperation of what I had lost.

There was a light knock at the door and a moment later, Tristan came in. He froze when he saw me.

"Elena…" He came over and pulled me into his arms. He rocked me gently, soothing me with soft words like you would a small child. I sobbed into his shirt the way I had done to Elijah any number of times. He stroked my hair lightly, refusing to let me go until my tears slowed and I could think straight once more.

I pulled back, my eyes cast down. He placed a finger under my chin and lifted my head so that I met his eye.

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I know. You were trying. I understand."

"But it doesn't make it easier, does it?"

"No… it doesn't. I… I knew that it would be painful to see any of them again… but I didn't realise just how much. It feels like part of me has been torn away. My soul is bleeding."

"I know I'm not much of a consolation. I can hardly compete against the likes of the great Elijah Mikaelson. But I am here for you. And… until we get you home, maybe I can help to keep you in one piece. In all senses of the word."

"Thank you Tristan… I… it's been a really long time since I've been able to get close to anyone."

"I can imagine Lucien would make that quite difficult, yes."

"It's not just that. Anyone I get close to he could use against me and I didn't want that to happen. Not… not after how he used the girls."

"You don't have to worry about him now. He can't do anything against me. He can't do anything to you as long as I am here. Even when he comes back, I swear that he will not lay a hand on you. And if he tries, he will lose that hand."

"Why are you really doing this Tristan? I've asked you this before and you always say it's because I'm special. Is that the real reason?"

"It's not something I can explain yet Elena. It might take a while for me to find the words. For now, can you make do with the fact that I want to help get you home and leave it at that?"

"I suppose."

"Good." He kissed my forehead.

Looking at him, I felt a mess of emotions inside me. He was so like Elijah, but he wasn't Elijah. And I needed to stop trying to pretend that he was. It wasn't healthy and it just made everything harder to deal with. Seeing the real Elijah just made the contrast between the two even greater and my feelings that much stronger. If I wasn't careful, my feelings for Elijah would ruin my relationship with Tristan by turning it into something that it wasn't.

"Can I…" I cut off before I could finish the sentence. I'd been going to ask if could stay with him tonight. After my strange moment on the stairs, my hallucination of Lucien, the idea of being alone in a bedroom was unpleasant. I wasn't sure what images my mind might stir up but I knew they wouldn't be pleasant.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter."

I needed to step back, re-establish my boundaries. If I continued down this path, things could get very unpleasant and confusing. I was feeling vulnerable and I needed contact with someone but I knew that in this state, it wasn't a good idea.

"Elena, you can talk to me, remember?"

"I know. But… I'm fine. You should go."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay here with you until you feel better. And I'm not confident that you are yet."

I bit my lip. He wasn't making this easy. He went and sat on the bed and after a moment's consideration, I curled up beside me. He played with my hair, the two of us sitting in silence. I focused on the sound of his breathing, drawing comfort from the soft regularity of it and the light touch of his fingers on my hair.

It was in this position that we stayed and it was in this position that I slowly drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry! I know some of you were excited that Elena was so close to being reunited. However I finally finished my plan for the story and it's 60 CHAPTERS LONG (including the preface and epilogue). So she's still got a few chapters to go before she's going to make it home. And no, before anyone gets worried, I am not shipping Tristan and Elena. This is still an Originals fic and they still own my heart. Tristan was originally only meant to appear for like three chapters but I enjoyed him too much so I rewrote my ideas to make him a bigger character. Hope no one minds.**


	19. Chapter XVIII

**A/N: I'm going away tomorrow and won't be back until Sunday. I won't have my laptop so I won't be able to update but I'll take a notebook so I can try and get a chapter ready to type up when I come back. I hope you like this one in the meantime!**

* * *

The next few days passed peacefully enough. However that peace was shattered one evening. We were in the dining room, having dinner when the door opened sharply. I looked up and felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. Lucien was back. Yay…

"Lucien." Tristan didn't seem surprised by his appearance. I narrowed my eyes, watching them.

"Tristan. Elena."

"Lucien…"

He sat down in a seat with an aggravated huff.

"What's got you so down?"

"Your witches have a twisted sense of humour," muttered Lucien darkly, glaring into space.

"Were they unable to help you?"

"Oh they helped me. They told me that what I wanted is in New Orleans."

"Oh, really?" Tristan asked. "Well that's…"

"Impossible. Because I can't go back to New Orleans. I will be murdered."

"Well that happens when you kidnap their monarch…" I murmured under my breath. Lucien glared at me before focusing back on Tristan.

"They didn't even tell me what I was looking for. Almost a month and they just said that my answers were in New Orleans. What a waste of my time."

"When are you leaving?" Tristan asked. Lucien didn't respond, just glared at him. I rolled my eyes and looked over at Tristan, trying to communicate with him without speaking. What was he doing? I knew that he had to have planned this and while I wanted to go back to New Orleans, now more than ever, I didn't want Lucien anywhere near New Orleans or those rings. He gave me a slight smile and his hand found mine under the table, brushing his fingers against mine. He ran his finger over the back of my hand, spelling out letters.

T-R-U-S-T.

I bit my lip and nodded my head ever so slightly, enough for him to see but not enough that Lucien would notice.

"I guess you have a decision to make," I said to Lucien. "How much do you want your tiny army of monstrous vampire kids? Or rather… how afraid of Klaus and the others are you?"

"There's got to be another way…"

"If there was, my sisters would have found it," Tristan said, smugly. "Maybe you should give up, send Elena home and beg for forgiveness. Maybe then you'll get a quick death."

"Not if I have anything to do with it…"

"Elena, there's no need for that," Tristan said. I pouted and got up.

"I'm going upstairs. I promise the girls I'd read to them before they go to bed."

I left the room and headed upstairs. I didn't head to my room or the girls, instead I went to Tristan's room and perched on his bed. It only took a few minutes before he came in. He smiled and locked the door to ensure Lucien wouldn't walk in.

"I presume you have a plan?"

"I do."

"I don't want Lucien getting his hand on that item."

"I know, he won't. I instructed the sisters not to give details, just to direct him to the city."

"And do you have a plan past that? If he agrees, he'll just lock me inside, put the girls somewhere else and I won't get a chance to get away."

"I'll come with you."

"That will look really suspicious."

"I'll come up with an excuse. And I'll have my witches fashion items for the girls so that I can locate them should Lucien attempt to separate you. Will that work?"

I nodded slowly.

"I think so. But I still don't think he'll go for it."

"What do I say Elena?" he asked, touching my cheek.

"Trust you. And I do."

"Good." He kissed me lightly. "Now run along. I've got things to arrange."

I nodded and left the room. I went quickly to the girls' room and sat down with them, hoping that Lucien wouldn't have noticed my absence. He was probably still downstairs sulking that things weren't going his way. I settled down to read. After a few minutes, I heard the sound of footsteps on the hallway. I realized that I'd become especially attuned to pick up Lucien's presence nearby and even with his absence, it hadn't dulled.

Three… two… one…

The door opened and Lucien came in. He slumped against the doorframe, watching us. I glanced over at him.

"Can I help?"

"No. I just haven't seen my beautiful wife in almost a month and I missed you."

"Please… not now…." I said softly. "Not in front of the girls."

"Five minutes."

He stalked out. I sighed and finished my story, tucking the girls into bed. I left the room slowly, my feet dragging. I felt nausea build inside of me with every step I took. I knew that I couldn't avoid him forever but the peace I'd enjoyed had allowed me a brief period of hope. Now the realities of my life were coming back into a harsh focus.

I let myself back into the room we'd shared. He was on the bed, reclined with an arm behind his head. Seeing him, I took several slow breaths, trying to switch off my emotions as best I could. I had to make myself numb to all of this. It was the only way I'd get through it.

He eyed me with a predatory hunger, slowly getting to his feet and stalking towards me.

"Oh baby I have missed you."

He grabbed hold of me and pulled me tight against him, our bodies flush with one another. His fingers brushed my cheek almost tenderly and he gave me a bruising kiss. He pulled back sharply and circled around me, coming to a stop behind me. He pushed me forward so I stumbled and landed on the bed. He clambered on top of me, straddling me and pressed my face into the mattress. One hand gripped my waist, fingers digging into my soft flesh, the other pulled at my hair. He pressed himself against me, his fangs resting on the curve of my throat. I closed my eyes, trying to block it all out. The hand on my waist trailed up my back before gripping the top of my dress and pulling sharply. The fabric ripped and I was left exposed. He wrenched off my underwear and I heard the clink of his own belt, the sound of his zip. I tensed and a second later I felt it, the pain, the blood dripping down my thighs. Tears ran down my cheek and I dug my fingers into the mattress. I opened my eyes, staring at the wall as the headboard thudded with each of Lucien's movements.

* * *

After, when Lucien had fallen asleep, I wriggled free of his grip. I pulled on a dressing gown and left the room silently, heading down the corridor to Tristan's. I wasn't sure why, I felt like I was moving without full control of my body.

I knocked lightly and I heard the rustle of movement from behind the door. It opened a little and Tristan peered out.

"Elena…? Oh god what has he done to you…?"

Seeing him, I couldn't keep the tears at bay. They broke free and I began to sob. He opened the door fully and wrapped his arms around me, drawing me into his room. He guided me to his bed and tucked the covers around me. I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes. His presence was comforting and although every part of me still hurt, having him there made it a little easier to deal with.

We lay together and although I didn't plan on staying, as much as I wanted to, we both dozed off. I was restless, my sleep intermittent and haunted by dark figures. When a loud crash came from downstairs, I bolted upright instantly.

"Tristan…" I shook him. "Something's wrong."

He stirred and opened his eyes, sitting up slowly. He cocked his head, listening intently. I heard more crashing, bangs and the sound of glass breaking. Tristan got to his feet and crept towards the door. I followed a foot behind, wary of what might be on the other side. He tore it open. The halls were a buzz with life, men and women with mismatch of weaponry. They were destroying everything with a single minded determination. Someone had started a fire on the lower floor and it was already spreading to the curtains and carpets. Tristan grabbed my arm and immediately made for the stairs, pulling me behind him before I had a chance to react. I heard a faint scream from somewhere in the din and I pulled back sharply.

"No! The girls!"

"They'll be fine, but you have to get out!"

"I'm not leaving them behind!"

I pulled away from him and raced back up the corridor to their room. Smoke was beginning to fill the hall, thick and black, making it nearly impossible to see anything. I darted between the raiders who paid me no mind, too focused on their destruction. I thought I heard Tristan yell my name but the sound was lost to the chaos around us.

I reached the girls room and let myself in. The girls were curled up in the corner of the room, clutching one another in terror.

"It's okay, I'm here."

I went over to them and knelt down.

"I need you two to be very brave. Hold my hand and don't let go, no matter what. Do you understand?"

They nodded. I took their hands and led them to the door. I paused, steeling my nerves for what we were about to face.

"Ready?"

They nodded. I opened the door, made sure I had firm grip of them both and hurried down the corridor to the stairs. The destruction had got worse. The fire was spreading uncontrollably. Bodies were dotted around. Some were members of Tristan's staff, some were the raiders who I assumed had been trampled in the fray.

We neared the stairs and a large man with an axe stepped into view. He lunged for us, narrowly missing. His eyes were wild and crazy, with a glassy quality to them. He took another swipe. Blair released my hand to avoid his swing and he turned on her, as though attracted by the movement. He took a step forward. My mind was panicking as I tried to think what to do. Before I could act, Lilah released my hand as well. Her eyes turned a vibrant gold, her arms flew up in front of her, fingers splayed. The man let out a yell and tumbled backwards down the stairs, landing with a sickening crunch at the bottom. I stared, momentarily frozen by the act. He wasn't moving. I looked down at my little girl who was staring in terror and I swept her up in my arms, guiding her forward. I grabbed Blair and we ran down the stairs, avoiding the body at the bottom. Above our heads a beam cracked. Splintered chunks of burning wood were falling around us, crashing to the ground. I swerved to dodge them, holding the girls close to me. Broken glass was scattered across the floor and it cut into my bare feet as I moved. A large chunk fell in front of us, blocking the door and hemming us in. Fire surrounded us on three sides, the wall on another. I couldn't think in the heat. The sounds of screaming as those still trapped in the house burned, the scent of blood and smoke, the feeling of terror, it was overwhelming me.

I looked down at my girls, who were clinging to me. They were terrified. I knelt down and touched their faces, streaked with ash.

"Close your eyes, don't let go." I tugged a curtain that had avoided the damage so far down from the pole, scooped them both into my arms and wrapped it around them tight. They buried their faces against my chest. I steeled my nerves once more, facing the flames which were growing. I could see the door, or what remained of it. It had been knocked down and I could see the night sky outside, the promise of fresh air and freedom. I clutched my girls tighter, took as deep a breath as I could manage in the smoke filled air, before darting through the flames. I bit into my lip, holding in a scream as the flames licked at my flesh. I couldn't stop. I had to get them to safety.

I kept running until I felt the sting of cold air on my damaged skin and then kept going, wanting as much distance between my twins and the fire. My feet, slick with blood, caught on the uneven ground and I tumbled down onto the grass, holding the girls in my arms. I lay there, dazed for a moment, staring up at the stars, unable to believe I had really made it out.

I heard footsteps on the grass and I looked up to see Tristan with Lucien and Aurora a few feet behind.

"Wh… what happened?" I asked.

"They were compelled," Tristan said. He looked over at Lucien. "I'm guessing Elijah did this. I don't know about you, Lucien, but I'm going to New Orleans."

"Well… we don't really have much choice. Do you have a way to get us there?" Lucien asked.

"My phone was in my pocket. Aya's on her way," Tristan said.

He knelt down and bit his wrist, offering me his blood. I accepted it willingly, feeling my burned skin healing rapidly. He helped me to my feet and took Blair from my arms. The six of us stood on the grass, clustered together as the house burned behind us.


	20. Chapter XIX

**A/N: After work today, I couldn't walk because my feet hurt too badly so I've postponed leaving until the morning. So I decided to do you guys one more chapter before my trip, albeit a short one.**

 **One of my guest reviewers asked if the Mystic Falls crew are going to make an appearance. I do have a chapter involving Jeremy but that's not for a long time and then the others will probably show up in the second to last chapter.**

* * *

Aya collected us from the ground and took us to a small apartment in the city. It had two bedrooms and, after much arguing between Lucien and Tristan, it was decided that Aurora would take one and I would share the other with the girls while the men slept on the sofas. Lucien was far from happy about this, not used to slumming it. We spent the next few days there while Aya helped Tristan to make arrangements for our travel to the US and our accommodation. I learned that it wasn't just our small group that was making the journey but also the sisters and a few members of the Strix that Tristan trusted the most.

The confined space limited my interactions with Tristan but it also meant that Lucien was forced to maintain a level of good behaviour. The girls seemed relatively okay after everything that had happened, a little shaken but mostly alright. I tried to talk to Lilah about what had happened that night but she refused to communicate in anyway when I brought it up. I knew that she had magic in her but I hadn't expected it to come out so soon.

It was October 28th when Tristan told us that we were leaving. We packed up the few things that we'd purchased since the fire, along with the twins bedraggled, mildly scorched toys that they'd been clutching when we'd fled. We travelled to the airport and loaded ourselves onto the plane. Aurora chatted away but I kept quiet and so did the girls. I was excited, although I tried to hide it. I was going home. I was one step closer to my family. I knew that I couldn't let Lucien know I was planning anything or he'd take away the girls and lock me up. Which meant when we landed and reached the city, I had to try and prevent myself from sprinting off to the Mikaelson house.

As the plane got closer to New Orleans airport, I felt a churning sensation start up in my stomach. It was a mixture of nerves and excitement. Tristan glanced over from his seat and smiled slightly.

"You okay Elena?"

"I am…"

"How does it feel to be going home?"

"Painful. It's been five years and I'm so close to the people I love… and I can't do anything."

"Quite right," chimed in Lucien. "Remember Elena, when we land, you have to follow my rules. No talking to anyone, no leaving the house. Or I'll lock your little girls in a shipping container and send them off to god knows where."

"I know the rules Lucien. You don't need to keep reminding me. I'm still your prisoner and I know we're only there until you get the answers you need."

"Speaking of that," said Tristan. "I may have found a possible starting point."

"Oh?" Lucien asked. "Why are you meddling in my affairs?"

"Because they became my affairs when you showed up at my door, made use of my resources and forced me to hide you and your prisoner. Which led to my house being burned down. So shut up. And put up with it."

Lucien scowled.

"Fine. Where would you suggest we start?"

Tristan fished a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Lucien.

"My contact in New Orleans sent this over."

I peered over the headrests, trying to see what it said. Lucien eyed it, a slight smile forming on his lips.

"As tempting as this is, there's one flaw." He held up the paper and tapped the bottom of it.

"Well there's a way around that. Distraction. Which I'm sure Aurora and myself could provide. Maybe even Elena."

"What? I'm not taking her there!"

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" I asked.

Tristan plucked the scrap of paper from Lucien's hands and passed it over. I looked down and saw that it was an invitation, written in cursive.

 _ **You are cordially invited to a Samhain celebration in honour of the witches of New Orleans.  
The theme of the evening is fables and fairy tales. We invite you to bring your characters to life.  
Masks and formal attire are required.  
9pm, All Hallow's Eve, The Mikaelson Manor**_

"A masked ball?" squealed Aurora, having come up behind my chair to read the invitation over my shoulder. "Oh yes! Lucien, don't be mean. Let us come along. I'm just dying to see Niklaus again."

"It's a masked ball Lucien, Elena will be hidden. And as long as the girls aren't with her, she's not going to run off. Aurora will keep Klaus occupied, I'll speak with Elijah about the destruction to my property which should keep him distracted. You can find the witches, be your normal charming self and get the answers you want. Simple. And having the queen of the city might help the witches to do what you want."

Lucien slumped in his chair, scowling like a child. He clearly didn't want to do it but he could see that Tristan was making sense. And I could see what Tristan was trying to do for me. If this wasn't my chance to get back to the siblings, it was at least my chance to get the rings and stash them somewhere else where Lucien couldn't get them.

"Fine. I don't suppose your contact will be able to get us suited up in time?"

"I'll look into it. It shouldn't be too difficult."

I looked away from the two men and smiled to myself. I was going to be back in my old home. I'd be able to see my friends, my family. I couldn't wait. It wasn't getting to go home properly but it was as close as I was going to get for now and that was a good place to start.

* * *

We landed and got into the waiting car which drove us into the city. As we entered the French Quarter, I felt a strange rush of warmth. I rested my hand against the window, looking out at the streets that were oh so familiar to me. The girls fidgeted beside me and I wondered if they felt it too. The sense of coming home.

As we drove, I noticed a few people on the streets pause and look over at our car. I bit my lip, wondering whether my people could feel me in the same way. Would they realise I was here? Would they come and find me?

We drove to a large apartment building and Lucien led the way to the lift, up to the penthouse suite. There were people already there, witches casting spells and two familiar hulking vampires that I recognized from his security team. Oh great, they were back. Looks like I was officially back under house arrest and Lucien's thumb.

The girls were starting to lag and I could tell that they were in need of a rest so I headed straight to the bedroom that Lucien identified as theirs. I set them down on their beds and went to the window, looking out at the bustling town below.

"Mama?" Blair said softly.

"Yes Blair?"

"Will we get to see our daddies soon?"

I smiled slightly and turned to look back at her. I nodded slowly.

"Yes. Yes you will. I promise you."

I came over and gave them both a kiss on their foreheads, tucking them into their beds. They snuggled down, clutching the toys that Kol had given them. My determination, which I'd been sheltering like a dying flame over the years, was finally starting to shine brightly once again. I was close. I couldn't let anything stop me now. In a few days, I'd be in my home and then it would be easy enough to separate myself from Lucien.

There was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in."

I knew that it would be Tristan even before the door opened. Lucien wouldn't bother knocking, he'd just walk in and start tormenting me. I smiled slightly and he gave me a small smile in response. He shut the door behind him and came over to me, gently taking my hands in his.

"How do you feel?"

"Good. I'm… I'm ready. I'm excited, I can do this. I just… I want to get home more than anything now."

"I know. You just need to be patient for a little bit longer. I want to thank you for trusting me with this. I know that it's not easy for you."

"Having you around makes it a little easier."

"Glad to hear it." He kissed my forehead. "I got my witches to make these for your girls, so that Lucien can't hide them from you again."

He let go of my hands and pulled two small lockets from his pocket. Two chains with a tiny heart attached, one in silver, the other in gold. I took them and examined them carefully. There was a symbol carved into the surface of the heart, a fleur-de-lis, with a tiny diamond set just below it. When I lifted the clasp, I found that there was a small bundle of herbs inside which let off a pleasant aroma when they came into contact with the air.

"They'll work?"

"As long as the girls wear them, they can be found."

I smiled and went over to the beds, carefully fastening the necklaces around each of their necks, before returning to Tristan.

"Thank you for doing all of this. I'm… I'm sorry about your house."

"That was hardly your fault. And you don't need to thank me, I just want to see you safe and happy. I suppose I should call you your majesty now that we're back in your kingdom?"

"Please don't. I never got used to that."

He chuckled softly and pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms tight around me. I felt safe and happy in his grasp.

"One day, we'll both be in this city. No Lucien, no nothing to get in the way. And we can walk and talk and just… be without fear of who might see or what might happen." I said. The words sounded silly and sentimental but I couldn't help how I felt. No matter how hard I tried, my feelings for Tristan got stronger each day. It wasn't love. But it wasn't just friendship. It was something else. A powerful sense of loyalty that was different from anything I'd felt before. If he asked me to do something, I would have done it. After everything he'd done for me, I owed him.

"I'd like that a lot."

He touched my cheek and gave me a light kiss. They weren't kisses of romance or lust, they were just brief moments of companionship and comfort. The night we'd slept together, he'd said that humans needed physical contact, that they needed affection. There was no shame in the brief moments of intimacy we shared, it was just a necessary act to keep me sane. I wasn't sure where I'd be without Tristan.

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter we get some originals action at the Halloween party!**


	21. Chapter XX

**A/N: Surprise! I got sick so I had to cancel my trip**

* * *

Tristan's contact managed to get us all costumes which arrived the morning of the ball. When I woke up, there were racks of clothes in the living room. Aurora was sorting through them, trying to find an outfit for herself and Tristan was sitting on the sofa, watching over the top of his book. I came over and brushed my fingers across the soft fabrics. Each of them had a label identifying the fairy tale they were representing and nearby was a table of masks and accessories to go with them. The girls came into the living room and gasped, rushing over to examine the beautiful shiny things. I smiled and watched them happily.

"Who are you doing?" Aurora asked.

"I'm not sure yet. You?"

"I'm doing a swan. From the Ugly Duckling. It's such a sweet little story." She held up a beautiful white dress with feathers clustered on the shoulder.

"Nice."

"I think you should do the story of the fox sister," she said.

"I don't know that one."

"A man had three sons, wished for a daughter even if she was a fox. He got a daughter and then his cows started dying. He asked his sons to watch to see what happened, and they said that the daughter was killing them and eating their livers. The father didn't believe them, so he banished them. Years later, the brothers find the sister. She tells them that their parents are dead and begs them to come and live with her. The brothers wake up in the middle of the night and find her eating their livers to keep her human form."

I stared at her.

"Nice…" I looked over at the girls. "What story do you think I should do girls?"

They looked at me and through the dresses. Lilah pointed to a selection of red dresses with a tag that identified them as representing Little Red Riding Hood. I smiled.

"Okay. I can do that."

There were quite a few a dresses that went with that costume so I began to sort through them in search of the perfect one. Lucien came in and paused in the doorway.

"Red Riding Hood, huh? Does that make me the big bad wolf?" he asked with a smirk.

"Hmm… predatory, vicious, likely to get chopped into small pieces in the near future… I could see that," I said.

"Don't kid yourself Lucien. We all know you're far more likely to be the grandmother in that story," Tristan said. I suppressed a laugh.

Lucien ignored us both and picked up a red dress with a plunging neckline and no back.

"How about this one?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's backless."

"And?"

"I… I just can't. It's not… decent."

"It's your back Elena, it's not going to cause a riot," Lucien said.

I turned away and continued along the rack. I found a ball gown dress on one of the racks and pulled it out to examine it. It had a deep wine coloured velvet corset top with a sweetheart neckline. The skirt was slightly lighter, made of layers of silk.

Blair came over with a hooded velvet shrug that was the same colour as the bodice and edged with pale grey fur.

"That's so pretty Blair, its perfect. Can you two find me a mask to go with it?"

Lilah went over to the table and returned with a mask that was made of silver designed to look like intricately woven lace. I smiled brightly and gave both girls a kiss. I was incredibly nervous and excited about the evening ahead. I wondered if the siblings would realise that I was there… surely they had to. I mean, they knew me by smell, by sight. If they spotted Lucien, it would be an obvious assumption that I was nearby.

"You'll look beautiful Elena," Tristan said. I gave him a brief smile, trying not to look too pleased. I knew Aurora hated the bond that was forming between her brother and me and I didn't want her to have even more reason to hate me.

"Thanks. What are you going as?" I asked.

"I am going as the devil," he grinned. "I've got everything picked out."

I laughed softly and opened my mouth to comment but Aurora swept over to her brother to show off her dress. I noticed Lucien eyeing me darkly so I took my clothes and quietly excused myself from the living room.

* * *

I spent the rest of the day playing with the girls. I was in a good mood and I felt fairly happy which was a strange sensation after all this time. When the sunset, I saw the streets outside begin to light up. Trick or Treaters took to the streets, music filled the air. I smiled to myself. I was home and now I felt it more than before.

Lucien had wanted to leave the girls with one of his security team but I refused. Tristan had interceded and suggested the Strix member that had looked after them during their 'kidnapping' act as a babysitter. Both the girls were very enthusiastic about this prospect and after some persuasion, Lucien conceded, under the condition that his security team also remained in the property. I knew that they'd have instructions to execute the girls if Lucien didn't return home.

Tristan's man arrived and the rest of us headed to bathrooms and bedrooms to prepare for the party. I wriggled into my dress, carefully adjusted Ansel's pendant that hung around my neck and fastened the cloak. I styled my hair into soft waves and did my make up before picking up my mask. For tonight I had to pretend to be someone else. As much as I wanted to seek out the siblings and hug them, have them hide me away, I couldn't let myself get distracted from what I had to do tonight.

I put on my shoes and headed out to the living room. Tristan was already waiting, in his black and red suit, looking very handsome and rather devilish which I guessed was the general idea. Lucien joined us shortly, in a black suit with a wolf mask perched on top of his head.

"Now Elena, remember, no running off. No talking to anyone."

"That's going to look really weird if someone tries to talk to me and I just blank them. If you want me to blend in, I need to act like a normal person."

"You will do what I say or I will ruin that pretty face of yours."

Before the threats of violence could escalate, Aurora came out in her swan outfit. The dress she'd shown me was now complimented with white gloves, a white feathered mask and a pair of white wings attached to her back.

"Boys, are you ready to go?" she said with a cheeky grin.

Tristan smiled and took her arm. Lucien took mine forcefully and the four of us headed downstairs to the car. We got in and drove through the streets to the Mikaelson manor. I kept my eyes on the window as we drove, getting more excited with each passing minute. I felt Tristan's fingers brush against my knee in a silent expression of reassurance.

We pulled up outside the manor and I put on my mask, carefully adjusting it. Our driver got the door for us and we stepped out. The outside of the house was alive with people heading in, wearing beautiful dresses and elegant suits, each with extravagant masks. There was a bouncer at the door, also masked, checking people's invites and allowing them in. Clearly the brothers were taking security very seriously.

Tristan presented our invite to the bouncer who nodded and waved us in. I bit my lip as we passed through the gate and into the courtyard. It had been decorated extravagantly and there were candles everywhere that gave the space an eerie flickering light. There was a bar at one side of the room as well as servers with trays of cocktails rotating the room. A band was playing upbeat jazz music and the whole room was just filled with an excited atmosphere. A large cauldron had been set up at one end of the room for guests to place offerings and requests for spells from the witches.

My eyes swept the room, searching for anyone familiar. It was hard since everyone was in costumes, faces hidden, in limited light. Lucien, who'd be holding my wrist, dug his nails into my skin as a reminder to behave.

"I'm going to talk to the witches," he said softly.

"Okay. Am I allowed to have a drink?"

"Yes. Just one. And behave yourself."

I was surprised that he wasn't expecting me to stay joined at the hip for the entire evening. Aurora and Tristan had wandered off already to mingle so I headed to the bar to get a drink. A young man was serving and it didn't take me long to get my drink. My eyes continued to roam the room as I leant against the bar, watching people laughing and dancing. It took me a minute but I spotted a few figures dotted around the room who weren't partaking in the merriment.

My eyes rested on a man dressed as a tin soldier and a blonde girl dressed as a ballerina, seated together near the stairs. Their heads were down, having an in depth conversation with one another, which meant it took me a few moments to properly identify them. Finn. Freya. I smiled to myself and my eyes moved to the next of the silent guests. These were easier to identify. Marcel in a musketeer style outfit with a flouncy shirt and a giant hat with a feather in was one. He had a sword at his waist and large black boots on. I wasn't sure what he was dressed as but even at a distance it was obvious that it was him. Next to him was Rebekah, dressed as a snow queen in a white gown covered with crystals that made her look like she was robed in ice. They were holding hands and I felt a pang of warmth at the sight of my sister. I was glad that they were still together. I hoped she was happy.

Elijah was also relatively easy to spot, although at first I missed him. He wasn't masked but his outfit was so different from what he normally wore that I barely recognized him. He was wearing a suit but it was a strange pale brown colour. He had a white shirt with a red stain on it, like fresh blood, and a rose attached to his lapel that was half red and half white. His eyes were closed and his expression was completely devoid of life. As I watched, his eyes opened and his gaze moved to the balcony. I looked up and saw Klaus. He wasn't wearing a costume, he was just stood at the balcony, leaning against the railing with a drink in his hand. He nodded silently to Elijah and disappeared back inside.

I began to search for Kol. I knew that I couldn't speak to any of them but I felt that if I saw them all, confirmed to myself that they were all alright, I'd be able to deal with the separation a little bit easier. My searching eyes failed to find him so I began to move through the crowd to get a better look. I bumped into someone and immediately jerked back, fearful of what might follow. I looked up and saw a pair of warm eyes looking down at me through a plain black mask.

Kol…

"Careful there," he said. "A pretty thing like you should watch where you're going."

His hands were on my waist, steadying me. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, so hard that I thought it might burst from my chest.

"T…t…thank you," I stammered, hardly able to string the words together. He frowned slightly.

"Do we… I'm sorry, you remind me of someone…"

"I… I don't think so."

I pulled away quickly and wriggled into the thick of the crowd, hoping that he wouldn't follow me and secretly wishing he would.

I finished my drink and grabbed another off a passing tray, downing it quickly. I wanted to enjoy the evening and just take some time to pretend that none of this had happened, that I was just a girl at a party.

I found myself by the giant cauldron and a woman, who was stood beside it, looked up and smiled at me.

"Come to ask for a gift from the witches?" she asked.

"Umm… no. I don't think there's anything they can do for me. And honestly I think that my life would be a lot easier without magic in it," I told her. She frowned.

"Still. It's Samhain, the night when the spirits are able to intercede in our fates. You should make a request."

"I don't have an offering."

"I'll let you do this one on faith." She offered me a scrap of paper and a pencil. I considered for a moment and scribbled down on the paper my wish.

 _ **I want to go home.**_

I folded the paper and tossed it into the cauldron.

"How long before it works?"

"When you stop being sceptical and open to help."

I laughed softly at that and moved away from the cauldron. I continued wandering the room, slowly making my way to the stairs so that I could retrieve the rings.

I passed by an alcove that had been formed from the decorations and furniture and that was obscured by some thick drapes. A hand grabbed my wrist, pulling me behind them. I let out a short scream automatically, the sound drowned out by the music. I turned in the darkened space and looked up to see Kol looking down at me.

"What are you doing?"

"It's you. It is, isn't it?" Before I could respond, I felt his hands go to the string of my mask and begin to deftly untie the knot.

"No… no… stop it!" I batted his hands away. "I can't do this."

"Elena…"

"Kol, please. I don't have much time. You trust me? Right?"

"Of course I do."

"Good. Then let me go upstairs. Don't draw attention to me being here. Please." I took his hands and looked into his eyes. I could see the conflict and I knew that he desperately wanted to keep me here. I wanted to stay there too, but I knew that I needed to find those rings. The siblings could easily overwhelm Lucien but I knew that if they did, the girls would be dead before we had a chance to get to them.

"Okay."

"Thank you."

I leaned up and kissed him, a long tender kiss that I tried to fill with every missed moment and every scrap of emotion I'd felt for him. He held me tight, returning the kiss.

I pulled away reluctantly and left the alcove, heading to the stairs quickly. No one was paying any attention to me as I moved silently down the hall to my bedroom. I tried the door and found it locked. I bit my lip, unsure of what to do. I hadn't even considered the prospect of it being locked.

"Ancestors, if you're listening like you're supposed to be today, now would be a really good time to help me!" I hissed at the empty hall. I gave the door handle an angry shake. I heard a creak and the door gave so sharply, I almost fell into the room.

I managed to right myself and entered. It was more or less the same as when I'd left it. The bed covers had been bunched together on one side of the bed, forming a sort of wall of cloth. There was a broken ornament on the floor by the door and I realized that it wasn't magic that had opened the door. Someone had been in here and had damaged the lock by throwing things at it.

I closed the door behind me and hurried over to the bed. I lifted up the mattress and rooted around underneath for the bag I'd hidden all those years ago. Nothing. I bit my lip, hoping it was still there and reached further.

Come on… come on…

My fingers brushed against the soft velvet of the bag and I had to suppress a cry of delight. I pulled the bag free and checked the contents to make sure they were all still there. Yes. I didn't have any pockets so I tucked the bag into my bra, the hardened corset disguising any lumps that might have been there.

I smoothed down my dress and took a moment to breathe. I had done what I had planned to. I could get rid of the rings and Lucien would never be able to use them against me.

Behind me, I heard the door open.

* * *

 **A/N: I don't know if anyone cares but i spent a lot of time researching fairy tales for this chapter and the costumes the characters wore. So just quickly the stories referenced were: Red Riding Hood, The Fox Sister, The Ugly Duckling, How the Devil Married Three Daughters, The Nightingale and The Rose, The Snow Queen, Puss in Boots, The Steadfast Tin Soldier, The Six Swans.**


	22. Chapter XXI

**A/N: I am sorry for leaving you all on a cliffhanger. I got serious writers block and I've been working, doing my dissertation and (as of this week) packing to leave uni. I'll be working on my dissertation for the next few months so I can't guarantee steady updates during that time, but I'll try to post as often as I can.**

 **Also, i know there's been issues with the notifications on this story but I think it's finally been fixed (yay!) so if you're only just getting notified, you probably need to backtrack a few chapters to catch up.**

* * *

I turned sharply.

"Lucien. What are you doing up here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well… this is still my home. So…"

"Reminiscing? This was your room, yes?"

"Yes. Now… what are you doing here?"

"I was following you. You're beginning to worry me." He moved towards me slowly and I backed up as best I could, colliding with the side of the bed. "You are getting far too cocky for your own good. Tristan is a bad influence in you."

"You mean because I'm not cowering away from you every time you enter the room?" He moved until he was directly in front of me. "You've changed too, you know, it's not just me. You were always an asshole but you've got worse recently. Your temper has gone haywire."

"Maybe that's because I don't like other people touching my things." He grabbed hold of my arms, digging his fingers into my skin until I gasped in pain. "You seem to keep forgetting that you belong to me. You have no rights, no choice. You do AS I SAY."

He pushed me down so I fell on the bed and his hands went to his belt. I immediately froze. No. Not here. He'd violated me in so many ways, destroyed my life but I clung to this house, this space as a place of safety. If he had his way, I'd never be able to see it the same.

"No… Lucien, please… not again… not here… I'll be good, I promise… I'm sorry." Tears streamed down my cheek.

"What did I say Elena? You belong to me. If you don't do what I want, I'm sure that I can make use of your little girls. How does that sound? A few years locked away until they're the right age for me and then I'll keep them as my personal pets."

I tried to get up but he pushed me back down with ease.

"You won't touch my daughters!"

"Oh come on Elena, we both know you're all talk. You can't really do anything."

"I won't let you lay a hand on them…"

He smirked.

"Oh it's so sweet that you still think that you have a choice."

He grabbed my arms and pinned them above my head. He roughly scrabbled at the front of my dress, tearing the fabric. I cried out and struggled. He slapped me hard, his nails clawing my cheek and leaving bloody gouges. He pushed up my skirt and undid his belt. I kicked out at him and he raised his hand to hit me once more. Another hand darted out and grabbed him.

"That's enough Lucien!"

Tristan. My saviour.

Lucien reared up, fangs sliding out, and he snarled at Tristan. Tristan snarled back and twisted his arm around sharply.

"I said that's enough! When I tell you to end something, I mean end it!"

He threw Lucien to the floor and loomed over him, fangs bared. Lucien glared up at him for a moment and I could sense a silent battle going on between them. Lucien broke first, looking away. He sped out of the room. Tristan watched him go before turning to me.

"Did he hurt you?"

"N…no. I'm fine."

He helped me to my feet and adjusted my cape to cover the damage to my dress. I touched his hand, grateful for his presence.

"Let's get you out of here."

"But…" I'd known that I'd need to leave but now it was harder, after talking to Kol, I'd almost deceived myself into thinking things were back to normal.

"Your children are still at Lucien's home…" he said softly. I nodded.

"Yeah… I know. Come on then."

He put his hand on my waist and carefully ushered me out of the room. We headed downstairs, me keeping my head down. He escorted me towards the gate.

"Leaving so soon Tristan?" I felt my heart skip a beat at the sound of Elijah's voice. "You have a lot of nerve showing your face here."

"Well I was hoping to talk with you but I thought better of it."

"Really? When last time you couldn't wait to be rid of me."

Tristan kept his arm tight around my waist and I felt his fingers grip my dress as he began to grow stressed. I dared lift my head slightly and glance over at Elijah. He was ignoring me, all his attention fixed on Tristan. I could have been a fly for all he cared.

"And I've reverted to my original position. I'm leaving."

He made to leave and Elijah went to block him. I saw Kol stood nearby and I locked eyes with him, pleading silently for him to intercede and get us out. I saw the conflict cross his face, the desire to keep me in the house mixed with his desire to help me. I mouthed one word. Please. His expression saddened and he nodded ever so slightly, moving quickly to Elijah's side. He put a gently restraining hand on his older brother's arm.

"Don't make a scene Elijah," he said softly. "This is for the witches, they won't help us if you mess this up."

Elijah's expression flickered, his fingers twitched as though he was going to clench them into fists and I saw the tell-tale signs of anger bubbling away under his careful mask of control. Slowly he nodded and stepped back.

"Get out of here now Tristan."

I gave Kol a grateful look and let Tristan lead me from the building to the car. I had no idea if Lucien had made it out of the party and I didn't care. We got into the car and drove back to the apartment. As we got nearer, I began to feel a nauseous nervous feeling stirring in my stomach. Would Lucien hurt the girls for what had happened? I hadn't fought against him, Tristan had… surely he wouldn't punish me for that?

* * *

When we got in, there was no sign of Lucien but his security team was also missing which I assumed meant that he'd been there and dismissed them. I went straight to the girls' room and found them sleeping peacefully. I sighed in relief and carefully wrapped their blankets around them before returning to the living room where Tristan was sitting.

"Thank you… for helping me earlier," I said, taking my mask off.

"You don't have to thank me for that… What kind of man would I be if I left you?"

I sat down on the edge of the sofa.

"Lucien is going to torture me…" I said softly, looking down at my hands.

"Did I… did I make things worse?"

I didn't want to answer the question. In truth, he probably had. But I wouldn't have wanted things to work out differently.

"I… I'm not sure. I guess we'll have to wait and see when he comes back."

"Do you want me to stop him?"

"No. Better he take it out on me than the girls."

He reached over and touched my hand.

"You're a brave woman Elena."

We sat in silence together for a long time, just staring into space in our own quiet worlds. I heard the lift in the hall beep and I tensed. The front door open and Aurora came in.

"Tristan! Where did you slip off too?"

"I had a situation to deal with. Did you have fun my love?" he asked, instantly brightening up at her presence.

"It was wonderful." She bounced over to an armchair and sat down. "I had a great time, thank you for taking me!"

I bit my lip and decided to leave the two of them alone. I headed into my room. The lights were off but since I was heading to bed, I only switched on one of the small bedside lamps which gave me enough light to remove my damaged dress.

"Why did you do it Elena?" came a rough voice from the darkness. My head shot up and I turned sharply to see Lucien sitting in the corner of the room. His head was bowed and he was still wearing part of his costume from the party, his shirt dishevelled and half unbuttoned, his jacket slung carelessly on the ground. There was an empty bottle of whiskey discarded beside him, one with liquid loosely clasped in his hand. I instinctively took a step back, my breathing spiking. He lifted his head to look at me.

"Why can't you just… stop fighting me?"

"I…"

He drained the bottle and got to his feet. He advanced on me, staggering slightly.

"All I'm trying to do is love you and you won't let me!"

"Love? You call what you do love?" I knew it was safer to stay silent but I couldn't keep the words inside. He stared at me like I was insane.

"It's cause of them isn't it? All of them! I'm not good enough for you because I can't compete with the high and mighty Mikaelson brothers!" He grabbed hold of me, his fingers digging into my arms. "And I thought you'd learn… you'd forget about them and move on but now HE'S here and it's ruined everything!"

"Get off me, Lucien! You're drunk!" I shoved him as best I could and to my surprise he stumbled back, probably more out of shock than actual damage.

"Why can't you love me? I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with but… WHY?!"

"Because you don't love Lucien! You covet, you claim. What you feel isn't love, its possession! And that's all you'll ever feel!"

His eyes narrowed and he grabbed hold of me once more, pulling me against him. I struggled, thrashing in his arms and hitting at anything I could reach. He looked down at me and his expression was one of complete and utter loathing.

"Are you sure that's what you want to say?"

"Yes… I don't care what you do to me but I can't love you Lucien, you're a monster!"

"A monster? You want a monster? Then I'll act like a monster!" He pulled me by the wrist, slamming me into the wall. He pulled his belt off and tore the remains of my dress away. He beat me mercilessly with the belt, the leather cutting into my skin. I stifled my cries, not wanting to draw Tristan in and have him intervene. I felt the blood running down my back, tears on my face. I closed my eyes and bit my lip hard enough to draw blood as I fought the urge to cry out. I heard the clink of the metal as he dropped the belt to the floor. He gripped my hair and twisted my head around so that I could see him.

"Go clean up. You look disgusting."

He pushed me away, towards the bathroom, with enough force to send me falling to the floor. He let out an aggravated huff, gripped my wrist and dragged me into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and pushed me under the spray. The water was icy cold and I shrieked as the sharp needles bit into my skin. Lucien glared at me and turned up the water. My tears flowed faster and I rested against the wall, wrapping my arms around myself in an effort to preserve some warmth in my broken body.

Lucien stalked out of the bathroom. My legs gave way underneath me and I collapsed on the tiled floor. The pink tinted water swirled around me before disappearing down the drain. My strength abandoned me and I slipped down until I was lying on the tiles, unable to move.


	23. Chapter XXII

**A/N: I had a few complaints about Elena not taking the escape opportunity she had in the previous chapter. I didn't actually realize that she had an opportunity to escape until i re-read it, so thanks. But be assured i do have a plan in place so i will make my accidental plotholes work.**

 **I do love all my reviews, particularly ones where people come up with all kind of meanings for things that happen in my chapters. You guys make me seem a lot smarter than i am**

* * *

I stayed in the bathroom that night. Once I'd regained control of my body, I turned off the water and curled up in the bathtub. I hated myself. Why hadn't I grabbed the girls the second it looked like Lucien was gone? I could have got them out and gone to the Mikaelson house before he came to his senses… I was an idiot. I guessed that it was because I'd gotten so used to having no chance of escape or freedom, that when the opportunity had been present I'd failed to reason.

When the sun came up, I put on a light kimono dressing gown that wouldn't aggravate my back and stumbled out into the kitchen. Tristan was sipping coffee at the breakfast bar and he lifted his head when I entered. He took in my stiff posture and his expression immediately became distressed.

"How bad was it?"

"Bad." I saw no reason to lie. "He was drunk. Spouting nonsense." I looked over at him. "You know, I could have left last night. I mean, he was still here but he wouldn't have stopped us. I could have made it out with them."

"Yes you probably could have."

"Did you realise?"

"Yes."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

He sighed and put down his coffee, getting to his feet and coming over to me.

"Elena, you trust me don't you?"

"Yes…"

"If I told you to do something, would you accept that I was doing it for your own good without questioning?"

"I… yes." I bit my lip. I wasn't sure why but I felt a strange unyielding loyalty to Tristan that I couldn't begin to question.

"Well then. Believe that I had a good reason for not telling you to leave last night." He touched my cheek. "Please. I would hate to think that I've damaged our friendship because of this."

"No… i…" I hesitated, struggling to speak the words. "Yes. I believe you."

"Thank you." He kissed my forehead lightly.

I heard a door slam and looked up sharply to see Lucien lurking in the doorway. He looked incredibly dishevelled and I wondered how much more he'd drunk after seeing me. He was still wearing the parts of his costume and there was dried blood on his chin.

"Lucien. Good morning," said Tristan, retreating a few steps.

"Tristan. Elena." His words were slurred. I wasn't sure if he was hungover or still drunk. "We need to have a talk."

"Maybe we should wait until you've sobered up," said Tristan. "You tend to act… rashly when you're intoxicated."

"Fuck you Tristan! I say when we talk!" He levelled an accusing finger at Tristan. "You have been messing with my girl! You want her for yourself, I know it!"

"Lucien, my relationship with Elena is strictly based in friendship. I don't know what you believe is going on between us but you're just being paranoid."

"Bite me jackass!"

"Lucien! You're acting like a lunatic!" I told him.

"You shut up! You don't get to speak! You are my wife, my property and you will do what I say!"

"Lucien. You need to step back and reconsider. Elena is right, you are acting like a lunatic. If you continue in this manner, I will be forced to take action to silence you myself."

Lucien snarled and lunged. Tristan grabbed him by the throat and pinned him to the wall.

"Lucien. I advise you to reconsider." Tristan's voice was like ice. He locked eyes with Lucien, holding his gaze for several minutes before releasing him. "Now get out and don't come back until you have cleared your head and sobered up."

Lucien rubbed his throat, looking at us both with angry eyes. He sped off and I heard a door slamming. I wasn't sure if he'd actually left the apartment or if he'd just locked himself in a room to cool off. I reached over and touched Tristan's hand, expressing my gratitude silently. He took my hand in his and squeezed in solidarity.

* * *

Lucien kept his head down for the next few days. I spent most of my time with the girls, trying to make sure I didn't run into him and also limiting my encounters with Aurora. She was free to come and go and was seemingly enjoying the city, although she appeared irritated that Klaus refused to see her. I found myself spending long periods of time standing by the window, staring out at the streets below.

Over a week had passed since the party and the sun had just finished setting. I was stood by the window, wondering if Kol had told the others about my presence in town yet. Then again… if he had, they would probably be tearing the city apart to find me.

I felt a small hand tug at the hem of my shirt. I looked down to see Lilah. Her face seemed paler than normal and there was a light sheen of sweat on her skin.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" I asked, picking her up carefully. She shook her head and buried her face in my top. I frowned and carried her into her bedroom, tucking her into her bed. Blair was nearby, playing with a doll and she looked up as we entered.

"Is Lilah okay mama?" she asked.

"I think she's a little poorly darling, but she'll be fine. She just needs to rest."

I perched on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair. She was burning up and I frowned. I knew that being cooped up would have messed up the twins immune system. Had she caught something? Something serious? I chewed my lip, feeling panic begin to set in.

I went to fetch a glass of water. Just sitting there made me feel useless, I needed to be up and doing something.

"Are you okay?" Tristan asked as I passed him.

"Lilah's sick. I don't think it's anything serious but… it's the first time one of them has got ill and it's making me stressed."

He gave me a sympathetic smile. I filled a glass of water and headed back to Lilah's room. As I neared, I heard a twisted strangled noise. The glass fell from my hand and smashed on the floor. I ran over to her bed. She was curled up on her side, retching furiously. My heart skipped a beat. I picked her up and carried her to the bathroom, crouching beside the toilet so that she could vomit into the toilet.

Gradually her retching subsided and she lapsed into silence. She was shivering although she was still burning hot. I held her close and stroked her hair. She looked up at me, her eyes wide and fearful. I murmured soft words of comfort, just as much for my benefit as for hers.

We sat there together, with me rocking her, until I felt sure that the vomiting spell was completely past. She closed her eyes and curled up tighter in my arms, her fingers gently grasping and releasing my shirt. I looked up and saw Blair stood in the doorway, looking pale and stressed. Once again, I wondered just how deep their bond went.

Lilah's body jerked sharply. She let out a screech that was unlike anything I'd ever heard. There was a sickening snap and her arm twisted in an unnatural manner. She squirmed out of my arms, landing on the tiled floor where her body continued to writhe and twist, accompanied by cries and the snapping of bone. She wailed, her eyes flying open. Her irises were a burning gold.

"TRISTAN!" I shouted. He was at my side in an instant.

"What's wrong?"

"Something's wrong with Lilah!"

He stared at the tiny girl on the floor.

"Shit… I think she's shifting."

"But…" I shook my head. Now was not the time for questions. "What do we do?"

"We have to get her out of here. Werewolves and vampires are bad news." He looked around as if he was hoping the bathroom would bring him some answers. "Do you know any werewolves?"

"I do. We better hurry. I know the first shift is the slowest, but I don't know how long we have… Can you drive?"

He nodded. I picked Lilah up, wrapping my arms tightly around her in an effort to hold her still as her body contorted. Tristan placed a hand on my back and escorted me towards the door. Lilah cried in my arms and each wail broke my heart. I wanted desperately to alleviate her pain but I just didn't know how!

Lucien emerged from a room as we neared the front door. He moved to stand between us and the exit.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To the bayou."

"Oh no you're not."

I glared at him. He was not doing this now. My child was in pain and he was trying to stop me from getting to the people who could help her? NO.

"Look Lucien, Lilah is shifting into a werewolf and if you do not get out of my way, I will wait until she turns and let HER EAT YOU. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY."

He blinked and stepped aside. I hurried out of the door with Tristan and down to the car. I got in the back with Lilah, her head resting in my lap. Tristan got into the driver's seat and we sped off, me feeding him directions as we went. Lilah's cries had subsided into whimpers which were somehow even more heart breaking. She gripped my sleeve, looking up at me.

"I know sweetheart, I know it hurts. Mama is going to get you somewhere safe, find people to help you, I promise." There were tears in my eyes as I watched my child suffer. I wanted to look away but I knew she needed me.

I saw the turning and shouted to Tristan. He skidded off the road and pulled to a stop. He came round and helped me lift Lilah from the car.

"I have to stay here," he said. He didn't seem to like the idea of letting me wander into the swamps by myself and to be honest I wished he could come with me as well but I knew why he had to stay behind.

"Thank you."

I moved as quickly as I could, not quite running due to the child in my arms but as close as I could get. I hurried through the trees. I wasn't sure if I was even going the right way and with each step I felt like the trees were closing in on me, that I was getting more and more lost. I silently prayed that I would find my way to the wolves.

When I finally broke through the trees into the clearing next to their cabin, I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.

"JACKSON!" I shouted. "OLIVER! ANYONE!"

I knew that they would probably be in their wolf forms by now but I didn't care. Even as animals they would be of more use to Lilah than I was.

The undergrowth parted and a handful of wolves stepped forward. I recognized one as Jackson and I carefully laid Lilah on the ground in front of them, kneeling down.

"Please… she's shifting, I don't know what to do… please help her…"

The Jackson wolf barked and looked at me. I took it as a sign of agreement. The wolves gathered around Lilah's twitching body, blocking her from my view. Jackson looked at me and nodded over to the cabin. I bit my lip and nodded reluctantly, retreating into the cabin. I didn't want to leave her there but I knew there was nothing I could do to help her.

I curled up on the tiny bed in the cabin, wrapping the blankets around myself. I could still hear Lilah's screams. I wasn't sure if they were real or just the echo of her screams from earlier. I covered my ears, digging my nails into the side of my head, whimpering. I hoped Lilah was okay… she had to be okay…


	24. Chapter XXIII

**A/N: I had hoped to get this up yesterday but I've been at London MCM and the combination of heat, uncomfortable costumes (Unity from Rick and Morty Friday and Coraline today!), lack of food, water and sleep wiped me out. But now I've got back from today's outing and my legs are too sore to move. Which means I'm stuck in bed writing fanfiction. Yay!**

* * *

I lay awake for hours. Every slight sound made me tense, every whimper on the wind made me bolt upright, wanting to rush out and wrap my arms around my baby girl. Eventually though, and despite my best efforts to remain awake, sleep overtook me.

Bright sunlight filtering through the thin curtains stirred me from my rest. I opened my eyes, stretching out. I wasn't sure what drew my focus but I found my head turning to the furthest corner of the room, where a chair had been placed. It was empty but a suit jacket had been draped over the back of it. I got to my feet and approached the chair, picking up the jacket. A familiar smell reached my nostrils, a warm cologne that brought thoughts of home to the forefront of my mind.

I heard the door open and close behind me. I turned slowly, hardly daring to believe it.

"Elijah…"

"Elena..."

We stared at each other for a moment, both of us afraid to make the first move. Then, simultaneously, we ran to each other and threw our arms around one another, clinging to each other. Neither of us spoke, just held each other, hands roaming flesh as though trying to memorize the body in front of us for fear it would be snatched away.

Slowly, reluctantly, we pulled apart.

"What are you doing here?" I asked softly. I didn't want to speak, I didn't want to bring us back to reality.

"Jackson called me. A few hours ago. I've been waiting for you to wake up." He touched my cheek, hardly daring to believe I was really there. "How are you here? Did you escape?"

"No… Lucien is New Orleans. And when Lilah started turning last night… I threatened him… and it worked. It's just a reprieve, I'm still very much his prisoner."

"Not for any longer Elena." He rested a hand on my shoulder. "I'm taking you home."

"No. You can't. Blair is with him. If I don't go back, he'll slaughter her before we can get to her. He's a monster Elijah…" My voice broke slightly and I found I could no longer meet Elijah's eye. I felt tainted. Elijah didn't know what had happened… if he found out… they wouldn't want me anymore… I was damaged goods… ruined… unfit for them…

I pulled back, turning away from him and closed my eyes, trying to silence the voices in my head. They quietened but didn't disappear.

"Is Lilah okay?" I asked, finally.

"She's fine… a bit shaken up but the wolves are taking care of her. How did this happen?"

"Tristan's house – "

"You've been with Tristan?" he snapped. I flinched unconsciously and took a step back.

"Yeah… Lucien took us to him, he wanted to use Tristan's witches… he's been helping me out."

"He failed to mention that…"

"Well, anyway… when his house burned down, we got attacked in the halls on our way out. Lilah did magic… I think. She threw a man down the stairs, broke his neck… I didn't think… I didn't realise…"

"It's okay, you didn't know. You couldn't have done anything." He touched my arm again. "For now we just need to focus on getting all three of you home."

"There's nothing you can do Elijah. You make a move, he'll run off to the other end of the world with me and the girls. He's already on high alert being back."

"I can't just step back and let you walk back to him!"

"Good thing I'm driving."

I sidestepped him and went outside. Lilah was sitting by the water with Jackson. She looked up as I approached and smiled brightly.

"Mama!"

I blinked, shocked. She ran over to me and held her arms up. I scooped her up and held her close, struggling to speak.

"A…are you okay?"

"Yes mama!"

She smiled. I'd seen her smile a few times but it never quite reached her eyes, like there was a shadow across them. This smile radiated light from every part of her.

Jackson got to his feet and came over.

"Thank you Jackson." I smiled, grateful.

"Anytime. Your majesty." His eyes moved to something over my shoulder. He nodded slightly and retreated. I sighed and turned. As I'd suspected, Elijah had followed me out.

"We need to talk about this Elena."

"No, we really don't."

"I have to do something."

"No. Elijah, listen to me. Every second of the past five years has been torture. I'm not going to pretend that I'm the only one who felt that way. But, I'm not prepared to risk either of my children. If I get an opportunity to get them both out safely, I will. But until that time, you should pretend that you never saw me. Please, don't do anything."

He sighed softly.

"I can't promise you that."

I bit my lip and nodded. I needed to leave. There were so many things I wanted to say but I knew that if I stayed any longer, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to leave.

I carried Lilah out of the bayou. I half expected Elijah to follow us but he didn't. After a while I found Tristan's car. He was dozing in the front and he jerked up as I climbed in.

"Everything alright?" he asked, sleepily. "Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine."

"Lucien's been blowing up my phone. He wants you back home."

"Of course he does." I closed my eyes. "Go on then."

I held Lilah close to me as Tristan started the car. I kept my eyes closed for most of the journey, fighting tears. I didn't want to go back there. I wanted to tell Tristan to stop the car, run back to Elijah and let me take him home. But I couldn't save on child and condemn the other. And I didn't think Lucien would buy any excuse I could think of for not bringing Lilah back.

I opened my eyes and looked down at Lilah. Her happy expression had vanished, her face had taken on its shadowed, pinched look once more. I was a bad mother. I couldn't do the one thing I was meant to, protect my children.

* * *

We returned to the apartment. Lucien was pacing. Aurora was sitting nearby, sipping blood out of a wine glass. I ignored them both and took Lilah to her room. Blair was inside, which relieved me. I'd been worried that Lucien might have done something to her for my impromptu exit the night before. I told them both to stay in the room until I came to collect them and advised Lilah to rest after the night she'd had.

I reluctantly returned to the main room, steeling myself for Lucien's wrath. He didn't speak at first, just looked at me with the silent fury that I'd come to fear more than when he shouted.

"Do you want to explain your behaviour last to me?" he said finally.

"My daughter needed help urgently and I did what I needed to do to get it for her. If you want me to apologize for that, you can forget it. Do whatever you want to me, but I stand by my actions last night."

"You said that she was 'shifting'. That's impossible."

"You're a vampire, I'm a doppelganger. On the list of impossibilities, my hybrid daughter turning into a wolf doesn't even feature."

"Werewolves have to kill to activate their curse, everyone knows that. She's five."

"And? Children kill. It's rare, but it happens."

He stalked towards me, teeth gritted.

"How. Did. This. Happen."

I looked over at Tristan. He looked curious as well. I sighed.

"It was the night the house burned down. One of the crazy villagers cornered us and she…" I hesitated. Did I want to speak about Lilah's magic? "Knocked him down the stairs. He must have broken his neck."

"And you didn't think to mention it a little sooner?"

"I was a little preoccupied with ESCAPING FROM A BURNING HOUSE!"

Quick as a striking snake, Lucien's hand shot out and slapped me. Tristan was on his feet in an instant. Lucien twisted to glare at him and gave him a look of warning.

"Don't you dare get involved." Lucien turned back to me. "Your attitude is getting out of hand Elena."

He gripped my hair, pulling roughly. I glared at him.

"I thought you liked my mouth Lucien," I snarled.

"That doesn't mean I won't cut out that pretty tongue of yours," he hissed.

"Lucien, you're out of line. Let her go." Tristan stepped closer. "I will not let you continue to treat Elena like this. It's cruel and unnecessary. She was only trying to look after her daughter."

"She should have told me."

"I didn't realise!" I protested. "And to be honest, you should have considered that this might happen. Side effect of kidnapping the daughter of a wolf hybrid, she might actually turn into a werewolf at some point!"

There was the sound of splintering glass. All our heads turned over to where Aurora had been sitting. All that remained was a deep red stain and broken glass on the carpet. I frowned. Lucien and Tristan returned their focus to one another, either side of me in a stand off.

"She is my wife and I will treat her how I see fit!"

Lucien moved forward to grab me again and Tristan seized hold of his wrist.

"Not while I'm around. You will not lay another finger on her. If you do, I swear that I will kill you." His face was deadly serious, rigid like it had been carved from stone. "I've stood by and let you abuse that poor girl for long enough. If you make one more move towards her, it will be your last."

Lucien's eyes moved from Tristan to me and I could tell he was weighing up his options, trying to determine how serious the other man was. His leg twitched, the floorboards creaking underneath. Tristan moved immediately between us. Lucien scowled and backed away, clearly deciding that Tristan meant business.

"Fine. You win. For now." He locked eyes with me. "But this isn't over Elena. You are still my wife. My property. You may feel nice and safe with your little lap dog but he won't be around forever and then you're mine again. And I will remember all of this."

He walked off, disappearing into one of the rooms. I released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Tristan turned to me.

"Are you alright?" His hand rested on my arm, his other going to my cheek. I felt a rush of warmth and I looked up into his eyes. All my built up emotions from my encounter with Elijah bubbled up and I kissed him.

He pulled back, his hand stroking my cheek.

"It's not a good idea… I want to, believe me, but maybe not now."

"I understand… I shouldn't have done it… I'm just… my mind is all over the place.

"Well, rest your head. I'll take care of everything, you don't have to worry about anything anymore. You trust me?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation in my voice.

"You'll do what I ask of you?"

"I'll do anything." The words came automatically, without thinking.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

He was my protector, my hero. I knew in that moment, that I'd do anything for him, all he had to do was ask.

He smiled at me.

"Good girl."

He gave me a brief, chaste kiss, sealing our pact.


	25. Chapter XXIV

**A/N: Sorry, things have been hectic. Still working on my dissertation. I moved out of my uni halls and I'm now on holiday in spain! I know everyone's very keen for Mikaelson family drama to return and I promise they will be coming back either in chapter XXVI or XXVII depending on how they pan out so you won't be waiting much longer.**

* * *

I didn't see Lucien or Aurora the rest of the day. I cleared up the broken glass and the blood, then went to play with the girls. They were a bit shaken up after the arguing they'd overheard but I did my best to distract them. When night fell, I headed to bed, hoping that I'd get a decent night's sleep after the rocky one the night before. I dozed off fairly quickly, into a dreamless sleep.

I wasn't sure what woke me, but I stirred from my slumber, my eyes opening slowly. As I lay there, I got the strange sensation of being watched. I tensed but tried to feign sleep, not wanting to prompt my watcher into action.

I rolled slowly onto my back. Out of the darkness loomed Aurora's face, lit by flickering candle light. I let out a short yell in fear and shock, scrambling into a sitting position.

"Aurora, what are you doing in here?" It was meant to sound angry and commanding but instead came out as a fearful squeak.

Aurora looked down at me and gave a small smile that sent fear running down my spine. There was something about it, a sort of deranged look in her eyes.

"I figured it out…" she said, staring at me vacantly.

"F… figured what out?"

"What you've been hiding. I knew that you had a secret Elena and I've finally figured out what it is." She laughed softly and I felt a chill run over me. "Little Lilah isn't Elijah's child is she?"

"Sh…she is."

"Oh no. Because she's a werewolf. And there's only one original who's just a little bit of an animal…" she closed her eyes and rested a hand on her heart. "My sweet love, Nik…" Her eyes opened and fixed on me, gaze filled with hatred. "You need to remember that he is mine. He loves me and he always will. He might stray a little, he's a man and it's to be expected, but his heart will ALWAYS belong to me."

She turned and began to pace agitatedly around the room. I felt a little relieved that she had placed some distance between us.

"Why would he want you? You're nothing… you're just a pathetic little human." She froze. "It's because you can give him children…" She rounded on me, her anger flaring up once more. "Why do you get to give him a child? I love him, he loves me, I should be the one to bear his children!"

She grabbed me by the throat, digging her nails into my throat.

"If you go near him again, I will kill you. I love him, I know things about him you never will! We share a bond like no other." She released me and looked down at me. "You don't believe me. You still think he wants you…" Her expression turned to one of disgust. "You really think he cares about you? Well… maybe he did. But he won't now. You're dirt. No one wants to play with a broken toy. After what Lucien's done to you, no one will want you. Not Nik. Not Elijah, not any of them. They'll abandon you. Maybe they'll kill you. But they will never love you again."

She stepped back and regarded me, her lip twisted into a cruel smile. I was trembling, not from her threats or from where she'd grabbed me, but from the final words. My worst fears, the ones that that dark part of my mind whispered to me late at night, that I tried so hard not to hear.

She extinguished her candle. I reached out and flicked on the bedside table, finding myself in the empty room.

I sat huddled up in my bed for hours, unable to sleep. I watched the sky through the a gap in the curtains and wondered if my fears would come true. I didn't want to think that the Mikaelsons would abandon me but… they did have a history of leaving people behind. After what had happened to me… would they be able to see me the same way? I couldn't even meet my own eyes in the mirror most days… how could I face them and tell the truth?

I wrapped my arms around myself. I felt stained. Like every bad thing Lucien had done to me over the past five years was now visible on my skin, ink spilt on paper, forever tainted for everyone to see. I could try to hide it for them but I knew that they'd see it and there would be nothing I could do. I didn't want that moment to come. I wanted to hide myself away and make sure they never found out.

I covered my ears, wishing I could silence my thoughts, digging my nails into the side of my face until tears stung the corner of my eyes, threatening to break free.

* * *

Dawn broke and I slipped out of bed, unable to remain there any longer. I went to the kitchen, trying to find a task to occupy myself. There was a little washing up in the sink so I began to do that, taking an unnecessarily long amount of time to clean each item. I finished washing a sharp knife and went to set it down on the draining board but paused. Something about the shimmer attracted me. I thought back to my little ritual. A way to hide myself from the pain of my thoughts for a brief amount of time. I'd not done it in a long time… but now with the swirling darkness of the thoughts threatening to consume my mind, I couldn't deny the temptation.

I held the knife more firmly in my hand and pressed the cool metal to the skin of my arm. Just a little one…

I carefully ran the blade's edge along the outside of my arm and let out a soft gasp at the pain. I watched as the blood blossomed in the slender cut and felt a calmness settle over my mind.

As quickly as it had started, the clarity seemed to dim, leaving behind nothing but a pain on my arm. I frowned and repositioned the knife. That moment of peace had been so perfect, so sweet, I couldn't let it go so quickly. This time, I cut a little deeper. The blood came, the pain came, stronger than before. But no peace. If anything, the dark thoughts seemed stronger, encouraged by the brief respite, now they gnawed at the edge of my brain like feral beasts.

My hand moved of its own accord, cutting at my arm in a desperate attempt to reclaim the serenity. Blood ran down my arm and onto the counter as I gripped it tightly.

That was how Tristan found me. Bleeding, clinging to the counter like a life raft, cutting wildly at my arms, with tears streaming down my cheeks. I didn't realise he was there at first, but suddenly his hands were on my wrists, gentle but restraining.

"Elena, stop it." His voice was soft. I struggled against his grip, my tears flowing stronger and wild sobs breaking free from my lips. "Elena. Stop!"

His voice was firmer and I instantly felt myself going limp. The knife slipped from my hand and fell to the floor. I slumped in his arms, letting him embrace me. After a few minutes of letting me cry, he pulled back and held my bleeding arm up for inspection.

"What are we going to do with you Elena?" he asked, brushing his fingers over the soft flesh of my arm. A small amount of blood collected on the fingers. He brought his hand up to his face as if in deep contemplation, but I saw his tongue dart out and taste it. He looked away, his veins darkening and his fangs sliding free. "I'm sorry. It's… just difficult."

"No, I understand… did you… did you want…?"

He looked over at me.

"You'd let me?"

"Yes…"

He took my arm carefully and ran his tongue over the cuts, lapping up the blood. I closed my eyes, letting him.

He licked at the blood with soft gentle strokes until there was not a trace left. He pulled back, a dot of blood still visible on his lips.

"Why were you doing this Elena?"

"I… I wanted to turn off my brain. It used to help." He frowned slightly, like he didn't quite understand. "Sometimes my mind makes me think things I don't like. Physical pain helped to distract me from the mental pain."

"Not anymore?"

"No." I wasn't sure what had changed. It was like Aurora saying the fears out loud had made them too real to escape from, even temporarily.

"You don't need to do this. I can't pretend to understand what you're feeling but I am here for you if you want to talk to me." He was still holding my hand and he gave it a gentle squeeze. "Let me bandage your arm. Not everyone here has as much self-control as I do."

He released my hand and went to one of the cupboards, returning with a small first aid box. He began to carefully bandage my arms, his fingers soft and tender. I couldn't help but think of Elijah and feel fresh tears welling up in my eyes. Tristan lifted his head from his contemplation of my arm. He reached over and gently wiped my eyes.

"No more tears love. Promise me?"

"I promise."

"Good." He gently ushered me over to the sofa, setting me down. "I need to discuss something with you."

"Of course."

"You're part of the Strix now, and that comes with certain obligations… I've been keeping you out of things because of everything that's been going on… but I require your help."

"Okay?"

"I'm trying to acquire a certain item. But the owner of it is reluctant to part with it and has set a number of… traps that are specific to my species. I want you to go with Aya and get it for me. Do you think you can manage that?"

"Yes, of course."

He gently brushed some hair from my face and smiled.

"Thank you. I promise, once this is done, I'll be able to get you home. No more fear, no more Lucien. You'll be free of him."

I managed a small smile but the thought of returning home only served to stir up my anxieties once more. He seemed to notice my nerves and lifted my head up slightly so I was forced to meet his eyes.

"Talk to me Elena, please."

"I'm… scared. Going back is… it's been so long… and… Aurora threatened me last night."

"Ahh… I didn't think she would take too kindly to the news… her relationship with Klaus has always been something of a sore spot. What did she say?"

"That he was hers… she babbled a lot… it didn't make much sense," I lied.

"I'll speak with her."

"That will just make things worse."

"I'll sedate her if necessary. She won't hurt you, I promise." He tilted his head slightly. "Is that all that's worrying you about going back?"

I looked at him. How could I explain the way I felt? The fears that were inside my head, building stronger with every passing second. It was simpler just to lie.

"Yes."


	26. Chapter XXV

The next day Aya arrived. I was tired and slumped on the sofa when she arrived, the girls drawing at the coffee table in front of me. Aurora hadn't made another appearance, so I assumed Tristan had done something to keep her out of the way. I looked up when Aya came over, eyes half open.

"You look rough Elena."

"Thank you. I feel it."

"Hopefully you're up for a little work?"

"Oh is this that… thing Tristan wants me to get?"

"Yes."

"I'll go but I need someone to watch the girls."

As if on cue, Tristan emerged. He didn't speak, just took a seat on the sofa and gestured for me to go with Aya. I nodded and followed her out.

We headed down to the car in silence. There were a few members of the Strix dotted around, none that I knew personally.

"So what are we after?" I asked, once we were in the car.

"That's private," cut in one of the others before Aya could respond. She gave him a look and he fell silent.

"If I'm supposed to retrieve something, I kind of need to know what it looks like," I pointed out.

"Yes, you will." The objector opened his mouth to say something but Aya gave him another scathing look. "You're looking for a case. Leather, reddish brown with a fleur de lis symbol imprinted on it. It's about this big." She gestured with her hands.

"What's inside?"

"You don't need to know that," Aya said. "Trust me, it's better not to know. Just find it, don't open it. Tristan has explicitly stated that."

"Right. Who does this thing belong to? Can I know that? Before I walk in and get body slammed by a witch?"

"You can know that. It's a human, but there are a few spells on the building which is why we can't go in. Go round the back. We'll make sure that he's sufficiently distracted while you sneak in and get the item. Simple, easy. I'm sure you can handle it."

We drove a little way out of town and the driver pulled over a short distance from a large stately home surrounded by trees. I peered through the window, curious.

"Are you sure there's no… extra security? Human security?"

"Well we've not been able to get in to find that out," said Aya coolly. "But I have confidence in you. I'm sure you can handle anything that you run into."

I bit my lip, continuing to peer through the window. Aya looked at me expectantly. I blinked, realising she was waiting for me to go. I got out of the car and headed through the trees round to the back of the building. The trees thinned out as I drew nearer the house and I caught a glimpse of a swimming pool, white stone columns and a trellis with climbing ivy. I crept nearer and crouched in the undergrowth. There was a man by the pool, watering some plants in terracotta pots. A large dog was sprawled on the stone beside him. I grimaced. Great. Just what I needed, a fucking guard dog.

The dog growled and got to its feet, barking. The man turned, looked down at the animal and followed its gaze towards the trees where I was hidden. I bit my lip and pressed myself down into the dirt, hoping he wouldn't see me.

From some kind of hidden speaker system came the sound of a doorbell. The man hesitated, still looking in my direction, before turning away and heading inside the house. I waited a few moments, assuming that the doorbell must be the start of the others efforts to distract him. When he didn't reappear, I slipped out of my hiding place and moved quickly towards the house. The dog was still outside and when he saw me, he barked and snarled, baring his fangs. I noticed something I hadn't before, a metal pole and a chain, keeping the dog tethered in place. He could only move a short distance, but unfortunately that distance included the area I needed to cross to get to the door. The dog kept barking and I knew I had to move quickly before the man heard and came back. I looked around and my eyes landed on the trellis. The floor above had a balcony… and the trellis looked reasonably strong…

I moved swiftly over to trellis and started to climb. The dog pulled at his chain, straining to get at me. I ignored him and moved as quickly as I could, using the trellis as a ladder. My foot slipped off one of the slats and I had to hold on tight to prevent myself from falling. I gritted my teeth and continued upwards. My hand reached the balcony and I pulled myself up, wriggling through the gaps in the stone rails until I was sprawled out. Safe.

Below, the dog had lapsed into silence with only the occasional growl. Out of sight, out of mind I guessed. I looked around, trying to work out what my next move should be. There was a glass door, open, allowing the curtains to stream out onto the balcony. Well, that was convenient.

I headed into the room. It was a large bedroom, elegant and modern. I kept moving, searching quickly, trying to locate the box while also not leaving any sign of my presence. The bedroom turned up nothing so I continued onto the hall. I could hear Aya's voice downstairs and the man's so I guessed, for the moment at least, the distraction was going well and without bloodshed.

I moved from room to room, trying to find anything that resembled the description Aya had given me. The stairs descended right behind the front door, where the man was stood so I knew I couldn't look around there. I was running out of rooms and beginning to feel a little desperate.

My eyes fell on a bookcase, multiple old leather bound books filling the shelves. One had no writing on the spine, just a symbol. A fleur de lis. Well… worth a try.

I moved over to it and pulled the book from the shelf. Nothing happened. I reached into the shelf and felt around the wood behind where the book had been. I felt something smooth within the rough wood. A button. I pressed lightly and there was a click. One side of the bookcase swung forward. I glanced around, fearful that it would set off an alarm or something. The voices from below sounded aggressive now, not shouting but the anger was apparent. I slipped through the gap that had appeared and into the room behind. Lights flickered on as I entered, making me jump, and the door swung shut behind me. The room wasn't particularly small but it was filled with furniture which made it seem smaller than it was. There were shelves and cabinets cluttered with peculiar objects. I felt incredibly uneasy being in the room, and it wasn't just the breaking and entering. Everything about this place felt… off.

There was no sign of the case on the shelves so I went to the cabinets and began pulling out drawers at random. Still no luck. I cursed to myself. If it wasn't in here, where could it be?

I swept the room with my gaze and spotted a large wooden trunk tucked away at one side of the room. Had to be…

I took a step towards it and froze. Footsteps in the hall. I scrambled for somewhere to hide, settling on the only place big enough to hold me. I quickly hid myself away, crouching down in the darkened space. I could hear my breathing. It seemed incredibly loud in the confined space and the pounding of my heart filled my head. They'd find me… they'd find me…

The footsteps grew louder. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. Please… please… please…

The footsteps stopped. I waited, hardly daring to breathe, listening for the click of door. Silence. After a moment, the footsteps resumed, this time retreating.

I waited for a few minutes before wriggling out of my hiding place. I went quickly to the trunk and opened it. Under an assortment of papers, I found the case. Reddish leather, a fleur de lis imprint. I pulled it free. It was heavy, surprisingly so. I went to tuck it under my arm, but paused. I eyed the silver clasp. A quick look wouldn't hurt, would it?

I set it down on a table, my hands moved to the clasps.

 _Do not open it_

I frowned, my fingers skimming over the edge of the metal.

 _Tristan said do not open it._

I felt a peculiar pain at the back of my head and I grimaced. No. I wouldn't look. I tucked it back under my arm and went over to the door. I had no idea if anyone was on the other side and I had no way of finding out. I would just have risk it.

I pushed the door open and peered out into the hallway. It was empty. I slipped out and shut the bookcase behind me. The door to the bedroom I'd come through was closed and I could hear a voice behind it. Fuck…

I went to the stairs and tiptoed down, testing each stair before I stepped on it to make sure it didn't creak and give me away. I made it to the ground floor without incident and looked around, trying to work out the best exit. The back door was still open but that would lead me passed the dog… I looked over at the front door. Would it be unlocked?

I took a step towards it and heard a growl behind me. I turned to see the dog standing in the hallway, now free of its chain. It eyed me and growled, spreading its weight as it tensed to attack. I stared at it, frozen with fear and unsure how to proceed. After everything I'd been through and a dog was stopping me? No.

I took a step forward. The dog snarled.

"Be quiet." I told it, my voice quiet but firm. I didn't think it would work but, I could command wolves why couldn't I do the same to a dog.

The dog whimpered a little and appeared confused, taking a small step back. I took a step towards him, keeping my eyes locked on him. He growled and tossed his head. I knelt down slowly so I was eyeball to eyeball.

"Sit."

The dog sat.

"Good boy. Now, stay."

I got back to my feet and strode down the hall and out the back door. I paused under the balcony, listening for any sign that the man might be able to see me when I made a run for it. I couldn't hear anything.

Three… two… one…

I dashed for the treeline, clutching the case to my chest. I ran through the trees, eager to put as much distance between myself and the house as possible. I didn't stop until I saw the car. Aya saw me coming and opened my door for me and I practically threw myself inside of it, gasping for breath.

"Well, that took slightly longer than expected," Aya said.

"A thank you would be nice…" I muttered. "Here's your stupid case."

She took it from me and examined the outside but didn't open it. She looked over at me.

"You didn't open it did you?"

"No. But I did almost get eaten by a dog, so thank you for that." I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes. The car started and drove away from the house. I kept my eyes closed, rubbing my temples occasionally. The pain I'd felt still lingered there faintly.

It didn't take long to get home and Aya escorted me inside. There was no sign of the girls but I could hear Blair's laughter from the bedroom. Tristan got to his feet when we entered. He smiled brightly when he saw the case.

"Aya, I trust everything went to plan?"

"It did."

"Excellent. Put it in the safe will you?"

Aya nodded and left the room. Tristan came over to me, running his eyes over me.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Good. Now, I have a surprise for you. A… present."

"Present?"

"Yes. Come with me." He took my hand. "I know that I promised I'd get you home and I will, but there's one thing I had to deal with first." He paused outside one of the rooms that we didn't use. He produced a key from his pocket and unlocked the door, but didn't open it. He looked at me and nodded for me to open it instead. I paused, uncertain about what I might find inside.

My hand reached for the knob and twisted. The door swung open. It was dark inside. Tristan reached passed me and flicked on the light. An audible gasp slipped from my lips.


	27. Chapter XXVI

The room held only two bits of furniture, a table with an array of objects on it and a single chair. It had chains hanging off it, attached to hooks in the floor and the wall behind it. Two IV drips had been set up, one with blood, the other with a clear viscous liquid inside. They alternated, so when one stopped flowing, the other started.

In the chair, chained and blindfolded was Lucien. There were manacles on his wrists and ankles, attaching him to the chair and the IV feeds were connected to the base of his throat. As I stared, I realised that it was not only the chains that kept him in place. Ropes of Vervain had been tied around him. He was shirtless and the tendrils of the plant criss-crossed over his chest. Whenever he twitched, his skin brushed the ropes and a terrible hissing sound would fill the room, accompanied by the smell of burning flesh. Small stakes had been impaled through his limbs, securing him at his hands, feet, wrists, ankles, forearms and thighs. A metal collar had been fitted to his throat, a chain at the back attaching it to the ground and preventing him from moving his head forward. When I took a step closer I saw that the inside had a series of small wooden spikes fitted, which glistened with Lucien's blood.

"A little crude, I know," Tristan said. "But I knew you'd never feel truly safe from Lucien unless I gave you proof." He walked over to the chair and checked the IV feeds. "So I'm giving him to you. You can do what you want to him. Torture him, stake him, remove the blood bag and let the wolf venom kill him. It's your choice."

Hesitantly I approached the chair.

"Can he hear us?"

"No. He was getting a little wild so I had to have him subdued. Shame really…"

"You're sure he can't get out of there?"

"Positive. I've taken every precaution. He's been pumped full of a cocktail of Vervain and diluted Wolf venom. I compelled all the humans in his employ, bribed or killed all the vampires. The chains, the chair, the door, the room, all reinforced. He can't break out. And there's only one key." He held out the key to me. I took it and slipped it into my pocket. "You are safe Elena. You're free. And as soon as you're done here, I'll take you back home."

"How did you manage this?" I asked softly.

"I knew I could never hope to get him when he was at his peak but as soon as he went to see the sisters, I had them put a paranoia spell on him. The effects have been worsening over time, causing him to behave… erratically."

"I noticed."

"I'm sorry about that, by the way, it was the only way I could see to sufficiently distract him into a position of vulnerability. I apologise for any extra unpleasantness you had to endure because of it."

"It's okay… I understand."

He nodded and gestured for me to do as I wanted, before heading over to the door and leaving the room. I turned my focus back on Lucien, moving until I was stood directly in front of him. I crouched down, placing my eyes at the same level as his blindfold. After all this time, all those nights lying awake after he'd violated me when I'd imagined what I'd do to him if I got the chance. Now the opportunity was here and I had no idea what to do.

I went over to the table. There were knives and a few other pieces of equipment that I had no idea about but looked painful. I picked up a small knife and moved back in front of Lucien's chair, eyeing him coldly.

I reached up and removed Lucien's blindfold. His head lulled forward. His eyes opened but they were glazed over and disorientated, staring through me rather than at me. I gripped his chin and slapped him, trying to revive him to an extent. If I was going to do this, I wanted him to know what I was doing. I wanted him to feel it, like I'd felt it.

"Wake up!" I slapped him again. He growled softly, his eyes flickering over me. I saw the briefest spark of recognition. "Lucien Castle. You know me? Or has what remained of your mind been rotted out?"

"I know you…"

"Good. I want you to see me, know what I'm going to do to you. I'm going to kill you Lucien. I'm going to make you suffer for what you did to me and then I'm going to kill you."

His lip curled in to an imitation of a smile.

"You're not going to kill me."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're one of the good guys Elena. You don't kill. You sacrifice yourself to save people and that's great but you're not a killer."

"No, I'm not a killer. But you're not a person. You're a monster and I WILL kill you." I leant forward slightly. "Tristan told me that if I wanted, I could just remove this blood bag and let the diluted wolf venom kill you… that would probably be painful but I don't think that's personal enough for what you did to me. And a stake through the heart, well that would be over far too quickly."

"When did you develop this flair for the dramatic Elena?"

"Maybe I got it from you." I eyed him. "Do you remember the night you stapled my mouth shut for screaming too loudly? Or… how about the night that you slammed my head into a mirror and imbedded pieces of glass in my body? Or when you took my daughter away from me and kept her for EIGHTEEN MONTHS?!"

"Do you want me to say sorry? Is that what you want? Okay… I'm sorry, really and truly I am. From the bottom of my heart."

I paused and looked down at the knife, turning it over between my fingers.

"I don't want your apologies Lucien. I want your blood."

I jammed the knife into his eye. He let out a cry of pain, struggling at his chains in an attempt to fend me off. I pulled the knife free and watched as his body began to repair himself. I felt a strange sensation in my stomach. Lucien let out a strangled laugh, blood running down his cheek.

"You're going to regret this Elena…" he said softly.

"I regret many things Lucien. This is not one of them."

* * *

I left the room, thoroughly shaken. My top was stained with Lucien's blood and my hands were shaking. Tristan was sitting nearby and he looked up as I entered.

"Did it go okay?"

"As well as can be expected."

I went over to the sink and started washing my hands. I heard a scuffle from outside and lifted my head. Tristan frowned and took a cautious step towards the front door. A second later the door was thrown open and one of Tristan's security guys was thrown across the hall. Tristan went to his side and knelt down. I pressed myself against the kitchen cabinet, trembling slightly. I could see from where I was stood that the security man's face was greying, a bloody hole torn into his chest. Simultaneously, our heads turned to the door. Another body was slumped on the floor and after a moment, a figure stepped into view.

Rebekah.

My heart skipped a beat at the sight of her. Rebekah, my sister. Her eyes were filled with fury and her hands were coated in blood, up to her elbows.

She moved to enter the apartment and seemed to hit an invisible wall. She frowned. Tristan stepped over the body of his fallen comrade and approached the door.

"Rebekah," Tristan said. "Sorry about that, precautions. It's a spell to prevent people of different sire lines from entering."

"I want my sister," Rebekah said. "My brothers may be content to sit around complacently and wait for you to bring her home, but I am not." She folded her arms.

"Of course. Elena, go and pack your bag."

Rebekah seemed to register me for the first time since she'd arrived. I saw relief cross her face and then concern as she noticed the blood. Her expression hardened.

"What have you done to her you bastard?"

"Nothing in the slightest. It's not her blood. And had you not arrived so abruptly and killed some of my security team, I was actually planning on bringing her back this evening."

"If that's true, let me in."

"Fine. Rebekah, please, come on in."

Rebekah immediately sped to my side and hugged me tight. I clung to her, so grateful to be close to her.

"Are you alright? Really?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I promise." I wasn't sure if that was the full truth but in the sense that she meant, physically okay, I was fine.

"I wasn't sure when Elijah told me… I couldn't believe that you were here…"

"How long have you known?"

"Today. I would have broken that door down a lot sooner if I'd known. He'd been acting weird since he disappeared on the full moon and I finally managed to get it out of him." She gave me another hug. "Are the girls okay?"

"They're… it's… difficult… it's been difficult for them. Especially Lilah… I'll explain later. For now, I'll just go get them."

She nodded and released me, but I could sense the reluctance to distance herself. I headed towards the girls room to fetch them.

"I'll grab your things Elena. Do you want anything in particular?"

"I don't want any of that stuff," I said. "It's got nothing but bad memories on it."

I went into the girls room. They were playing together and looked up when I came in. I gave them a bright smile and for once it didn't feel strained.

"Girls, I have some big news." I sat on the floor and patted my lap. They came over, eager and excited. "We're going home. We're going back to your daddies. Isn't that good?"

Blair let out a happy gasp and even Lilah gave a rare smile.

"We're not going to take anything, except your extra special teddy bears." I picked up the fox and the wolf from their beds and handed to them. I didn't want to take anything that Lucien had given with us. It was tainted by his touch.

I took the girls by the hand and guided them out of the room. Rebekah and Tristan were regarding one another in the living room but the second Rebekah saw the girls, her face split into a look of absolute happiness. Blair clung to me, suddenly shy. Lilah gave Rebekah a tentative smile back.

"Girls, this is your auntie Rebekah. Do you want to say hello?"

Blair stayed at my side but Lilah, surprisingly, went over to Rebekah. Rebekah knelt down and gave Lilah a light hug, before allowing her to scurry back to my side.

"Shall we go then?" she asked, giving Tristan a cold look. I smiled and nodded. I turned back to Tristan and smiled.

"Thank you, Tristan, for everything you've done."

"It's been good knowing you Elena. I hope to see you again soon."

I gave him one last smile and followed Rebekah out of the apartment, the girls at my side. We went downstairs and started walking down the street towards the Mikaelson house. Rebekah didn't speak as we walked, perhaps waiting for me to initiate the conversation. I wanted to talk. After five years of writing letters to her that she'd never read, wanting to talk to her, I couldn't conjure up the words. I didn't want to have to explain everything I'd been through, everything that had happened to me…

I just… things were supposed to be good now I was going home but I felt like I was just falling into a whole new set of troubles, that I had no idea how to deal with.


	28. Chapter XXVII

We reached the gate of the Mikaelson house and Rebekah opened it. She glanced at me and gave me a comforting smile, then entered the courtyard. After a moment's hesitation, I followed her. The siblings were sitting in the courtyard, with the exception of Klaus. I could see the differences in them immediately. Now that they weren't putting on a show for an audience like they had been at the masked ball, the true damage was showing through.

Freya was hunched over in one corner, a small table set up in front of her bearing a map and a number of assorted ingredients. Her eyes were closed and I could see her lips twitched as she murmured to herself. Finn was near her, her constant shadow. His expression was strained with worry. Elijah was pacing along the upstairs balcony, pinching the bridge of his nose in an effort to relieve tension. Whether the movement was out of worry or frustration I couldn't tell. Only Kol seemed calm, sitting on the bottom step with a serene look on his face. However, as I looked closer I could see that it was closer to defeat than actual peace. Had I caused that?

Kols eyes lifted and met mine. He blinked, as if unable to really believe I was there, before getting to his feet. He moved silently to me, almost trance-like, and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight to his chest. He rested his cheek against my hair.

"Elena."

The word was a whisper but it seemed to echo around the room. I saw Elijah freeze mid step and Finn raised his head. I wriggled free of Kol's grasp, somewhat reluctantly, and stepped forward.

"Hey… we're home…" I said softly.

Within a second, I was swept into the arms of my family. I pressed my face against Elijah's chest and held onto Finn's arm, wanting to be as close to them as possible. The girls had released my hands and retreated a little, holding onto one another. I gave the boys each a kiss on the cheek, then pulled away and went over to the girls.

"It's okay. You don't have to be afraid, I promise."

I took their hands and led them forward. Kol stared at the girls, a wide grin spreading over his face. The others were smiling too and I could see Elijah was itching to pick Lilah up.

"Blair, this is your daddy," I told her, pointing at Kol. "And Lilah, that's yours."

Lilah released my hand and stepped towards Elijah. He knelt down so he was level with her. She reached up and touched his cheek, a small smile appearing on her face. Blair, encouraged by her sister's example, moved to Kol and, after staring at him for a moment, hugged him. He picked her up, cradling her close, and I thought I saw tears in his eyes.

I didn't want to disturb their reunion, and I noticed Freya was still in her sitting position, eyes closed. I went over to her, deciding it was best to give some space to Kol and Elijah while they reconnected with their children. I was also afraid if I stayed near Finn and Rebekah, they would start asking about what had happened to me and that was a conversation I wanted to avoid for as long as possible.

"Freya…?"

She continued muttering, rocking slightly. I frowned.

"She's been like that for days. She spends most of her time like that, trying to do a locator spell to find you," said Finn, having approached me while I was distracted. My frown grew. I crouched down and placed a hand on Freya's shoulder.

"Freya. Freya, I'm here. You don't have to keep looking for me!"

She blinked, her eyes opening and focusing on me.

"E…elena?"

"Yes. I'm here. You can stop looking."

She threw her arms around me, tears starting to stream down her cheeks from a mixture of relief and exhaustion. Her body went limp against me. Finn came over and carefully lifted her up.

"Is she okay?"

"She's just worn out. She needs to rest."

He carried her off to her room. I glanced over at Elijah and Kol who were still happily involved with the twins and decided to go and find Klaus. I figured he'd be upstairs.

I went up to his room, knocked lightly and let myself in. The room was dark, empty bottles dotted on various surfaces. Half-finished paintings were propped against the wall. What I could see in the limited light seemed violent and angry, splashes of paint on the canvas.

"Go away…" came Klaus' voice from the bed. "I mean it Elijah, I'm not in the mood for a lecture."

"Klaus?"

He half sat up. I couldn't see him very well, just the shape of him. I tried to move in his direction, colliding with something in the darkness.

"Ow!"

I felt a hand on my waist suddenly and looked up to see Klaus' face, still obscured by the darkness.

"Is it you? Is it really you?"

His hands moved over my body, as if trying to identify me by touch.

"It's me Klaus. I'm back." I touched his cheek. I could smell blood. "What happened to you?"

"You were gone…"

"I know. But it's never going to happen again, I promise. I'm home. The girls are home."

I felt him stiffen under my hands.

"My daughter…"

"Yes. She's here." I smiled. "You can go and see her…"

Once again, the smell of blood hit my nose. I pulled back and went to the window, narrowly avoiding another collision. I pulled open the curtains and looked back at Klaus, who was still stood there watching me. His clothes were bloodstained and there were a few similar stains on his mouth and chin.

"Umm… maybe you should clean up first. You don't want to scare her."

He looked down at himself, as if realising the state he was in for the first time. He nodded slowly and headed to the bathroom. He seemed almost dazed. I guessed that he was just struggling to comprehend this sudden change, much as how I was.

I perched on the bed, looking around the now visible room. It was a wreck. Klaus had clearly not been in a good mood. Furniture had been smashed, there was paint and blood everywhere. I bit my lip, my eyes landing on a broken mirror.

" _Shh Elena! If you stop crying, this will be a lot easier!"_

 _I tried. I did. But as he forced another shard into the skin of my waist, fresh tears flowed from my eyes and I squirmed in pain. He sighed._

" _Elena, I told you. You need to be still!"_

I shook my head, trying to divert myself back to the present. The smell in the room was building and I had to get out of there.

"Klaus I'll be downstairs!" I called to him, figuring he'd be able to hear me with his vampire hearing. I hurried out of the room and back downstairs. Finn was back and was sitting nearby. Rebekah was talking with Blair, who was perched on Kol's knee, babbling happily as was her way. Lilah was sitting on the floor by Elijah's feet, her head resting against his leg. I was surprised by their instant affection. I would have thought they'd be more wary, but then I recalled Lilah's instant attachment to Tristan. They could probably sense the family bond, somehow. I went and sat next to him, idly playing with her hair.

"Does… does she talk?" Elijah asked me softly.

"No. I've only heard her speak once… and that was when she was with the werewolves….I think it's a psychological thing. Lucien… the kidnapping messed her up."

"It messed us all up Elena," said Elijah, touching my hand. I squeezed gently, wondering just how much had changed since I'd been gone.

"I saw Klaus' room…"

"Yes… he's been… difficult since your absence."

"I take it you didn't tell him about seeing me again."

"No. I didn't tell anyone. I knew he'd insist on attacking Lucien, which was what I wanted to do, but I was trying to abide by your wishes…" His voice had grown more hushed and I sensed that he was still trying to hide his earlier interaction with me, out of fear of what the others would do.

Klaus appeared beside us, now cleaned up. I smiled. Lilah's eyes widened and she got up, running over to him. He seemed taken aback but crouched down. She placed one hand on his chest, one on his cheek and I could have sworn she sniffed him lightly. She let out a small animal like yelp and a smile lit up her face.

"Who's that man?" asked Blair, cuddling into Kol's arms.

"That's your scary uncle Klaus," Kol told her. "Don't make him mad, or he'll turn into a wolf!"

"Kol, you'll scare her," Finn warned.

"Wolves aren't scary. They're our friends," Blair said. "Mama can make them sing for her."

I smiled slightly, my eyes still fixed on the silent interaction between Klaus and his daughter. She was carefully tracing the shape of his face as he stared at her as though he had never seen anything so beautiful.

He picked Lilah up and came to sit with us. Everything felt warm and just… right. My family was back together, we were all where we were meant to be for once.

"How did you get back here?" Finn asked. "I know you came in with Rebekah, but how did you escape from Lucien?"

"I'm particularly interested in that. I'm dying to kill that son of a bitch," Klaus said.

"Klaus, language. Children present," Finn reprimanded.

"Well… it's kind of a long story. But… cliff notes version is, Lucien wanted to recreate the spell that got me pregnant. Couldn't find out how. He went to Tristan for help…"

"Tristan?" Finn asked, confused.

"Wait… Tristan De Martel?" Klaus asked. "They hate one another…. But that explains why Aurora's been sniffing around."

"Yeah. So he begged Tristan for help, Tristan agreed, tricked him into bringing me here and then double crossed him."

Everyone sat in silence, unsure of what to say. I shifted nervously in my seat, worried that this line of questioning would lead onto the ones I didn't want to answer.

"I guess we owe Tristan an apology," Elijah said. "Although I still dislike him."

"You sired him." I pointed out.

"Yes but not out of sentiment. It was the best way to create a distraction for Mikael. I turned Tristan and compelled him, Aurora and Lucien to think they were Rebekah, Niklaus and myself." Elijah explained. I frowned.

"That's… that's really cruel." Cruel, but it explained a lot… like why Tristan reminded me of Elijah so much…

"It was a necessary step," Elijah said.

"Like sending a horde of villagers to attack and burn down Tristan's house?" I murmured.

"I never did that…" he said, looking confused. I opened my mouth to say something but Kol interrupted before I got the chance.

"Whatever the reason, we're all glad your back. Things can finally get back on track now."

* * *

I managed to evade further questioning and after we'd put the girls to bed that night, much to the reluctance of the others, I went to my room. I paused outside the door, hand resting on the door.

" _You seem to keep forgetting that you belong to me. You have no rights, no choice. You do AS I SAY."_

 _He pushed me down so I fell on the bed and his hands went to his belt. I immediately froze. No. Not here. He'd violated me in so many ways, destroyed my life but I clung to this house, this space as a place of safety. If he had his way, I'd never be able to see it the same._

" _No… Lucien, please… not again… not here… I'll be good, I promise… I'm sorry." Tears streamed down my cheek._

I pulled back sharply. I couldn't sleep here. I hesitated, unsure who to seek out. I felt off kilter. Five years, I'd got into the habit of dealing with things alone. Now I had the siblings back, I had no idea what to do with myself. It felt like my entire body had been changed by what had happened.

"Elena, are you alright?"

I turned to see Finn a little way behind me.

"Oh. Hey Finn. Is Freya okay?"

"She's better, yes. She's been resting up, she'll be back to normal by the morning I think."

"Good. I was worried."

He came over and took my hands in his.

"No more worry Elena. You're home, you're safe. The girls are safe. Everything is right."

I looked down at my feet and nodded slightly.

"Do you want to stay with me for a bit?" he asked.

"I think I might go for a walk actually… it's been so long since I could walk around, the novelty is kind of exciting to me."

"Okay. Take your phone, if you need anything I'll be right there."

I nodded, kissed his cheek and headed downstairs. I left the Mikaelson house and went out onto the darkened streets of New Orleans.

I found myself soothed by the music and the lights of the city. I felt my body relaxing. I was home, this was home. Things would be okay, it would just take a little while to adjust back to normal. I closed my eyes, standing there, letting the sounds of the city wash over me.


	29. Chapter XXVIII

**A/N: I was intending to end this series with this story… but I had a weird dream featuring the siblings and Elena in a log cabin with Klaus trying to cook… interested?**

* * *

I woke up early the next morning and sat up slowly, disorientated. It took me a few minutes to work out where I was. I was in the courtyard, curled up by the stairs. I was wearing unfamiliar clothes… when had I got changed?

I stumbled up and headed upstairs. I reluctantly let myself into my room, went to the wardrobe and grabbed some clean clothes at random. I undressed slowly, removing the small pouch of rings that I'd been hiding on my person since I'd got them. I placed them into my jewellery box, smiling to myself. I brushed my fingers lightly over the smooth velvet of the bag. Then I closed the lid and finished getting dressed.

I headed to the living room. The girls were asleep there, as their room only contained cots. I smiled, the smile growing when I noticed Kol propped up the corner. I went over and touched his cheek lightly. He stirred and opened his eyes.

"Hey…"

"Hey… I still can't believe you're here…"

"I'm here."

He sat up slightly.

"I… I didn't want to be away from them anymore…" he explained sheepishly, looking over at the girls. "It's not just me… Elijah was in here too." He nodded over at a chair where Elijah's suit jacket was hanging.

"I get it." I cuddled up to Kol. "But we're home now, we're not going anywhere."

"Good." He kissed my cheek, then hesitated. "You know you said Lucien was trying to recreate the fertility spell?"

"Yes…" I stiffened slightly, a sense of cold dread settling in the pit of my stomach.

"Did he… did he do anything… to you?"

I felt bile rising in the back of my throat and the colour drained from my face. I forced on a cheery smile.

"Of course he didn't Kol..." I bit my lip, unable to meet his eye. I saw him smile uncertainly, not quite believing me. I looked away.

"Did you sleep okay?" he asked, sensing my discomfort.

"I think so. I went for a walk… I don't remember coming back though."

We lapsed into silence, my head resting on his chest. He idly stroked my hair, comfortable in our little bubble.

"The others are up…" he said after a while. I nodded slowly but didn't move, quietly content. I'd spent so long being fearful and rushing to ensure that Lucien was calm, I was enjoying being able to take a moment of serenity.

Eventually the sounds of the others downstairs reached me as well and I was forced to concede that the moment was open. I unwound from Kol's arms and woke the girls gently. Kol came over to help me, lifting Blair into his arms. I picked Lilah up and the four of us headed downstairs together. A breakfast table had been set up with a variety of food, which the siblings were gathered around, and I saw Lilah's eyes light up. We set the girls down and they ran over to eat. Klaus was pouring himself a drink and he smiled at the sight of them.

"Nice spread," Kol said.

"Well I figured it was a special occasion."

I went over to Freya, who was sitting quietly and smiled.

"Are you feeling better?"

"I am… it's good to see you again Elena."

She touched my hands. Her face seemed relieved, like a great weight had been taken off of her. I smiled and turned my attention to the table that the girls were descending on. Elijah came over and helped the girls fill their plates. I couldn't help but smile at the tenderness he showed towards them.

"So I suppose now Elena's back, we should probably inform her subjects. Maybe stop some of the infighting?" said Finn.

"I'd… I'd honestly prefer if I can just keep things low key for a little while. I've only just gone from being a prisoner to being… me again. I'm not ready to be a queen." I took my plate and sat down. "I mean, you can tell people I'm back but I'm not ready to take charge or anything." A thought occurred and I continued hurriedly. "And no parties! Those never end well for me!"

The others laughed.

"Alright Elena, no parties. And we won't trot you out to the royal speech quite yet," said Elijah.

"But we will be telling the witches your back. They've been causing a lot of trouble in your absence," added Klaus.

"I'll go see Sophie. That'll spread the message quickly enough," I said.

We settled into our seats, the girls on the floor, as we ate. Elijah looked over at them thoughtfully and then turned his focus to me.

"Do they know how to read? Write?"

"A little bit. Blair more than Lilah."

"Why's that?"

"Umm… well… one of Lucien's methods of keeping control of me and getting me to follow an order I had a particular objection to… was to take Lilah away… for a year and a half…" I looked down and my hand went to the wedding ring. I had hated it so much but I'd not even thought about taking it off… it was like it was locked onto my skin. Klaus' eyes narrowed.

"He married you?"

"He did. He threatened to kill Lilah and I had to agree. And then he took her away to ensure I behaved the way he wanted. It's why she doesn't talk."

I couldn't look at them. They were judging me. They had to be.

I heard the sound of one of the chairs scraping the stone floor. Elijah knelt down in front of me and took my hand.

"You're not there anymore. You're home, where you belong." He carefully took my hand and slid the ring from my finger. "No more thinking about the past, focus on the future." He kissed my hands lightly. I smiled gratefully.

"Thank you." He returned to his seat. I looked over at the others. "So, I guess we have to put them in school?"

"Nonsense. We can teach them. We taught Marcellus," said Klaus.

"I agree," said Elijah. "But Kol, we are not letting you teach them Shakespeare. You get far too carried away."

"Okay, okay…" muttered Kol. "However, I think we should get a specialist in to teach Lilah sign language or something. So she can communicate until she feels comfortable talking again."

There was a murmur of agreement. I bit my lip, feeling a little like a spare part. I'd got used to being the only one to make decisions for the children. Now I had three dads, all eager to contribute, as well as some very opinionated aunts and uncles.

"On that subject… I would like to make a suggestion," said Finn. "Obviously, they're your kids… but I feel that… maybe we should get them someone to talk to. Professionally I mean."

"A psychiatrist?" Rebekah raised an eyebrow. "You want a psychiatrist to get involved in our affairs?"

"We could ask the blonde that Klaus talks to."

"Cami?" Klaus said. My head lifted.

"Wait… Cami? She's… your psychiatrist now?" I asked, staring at Klaus in disbelief.

"I needed someone to talk to…" Klaus begrudgingly admitted.

"Right. Okay. Wow. I guess I can go and ask her when I go see Sophie? They both still work at Rousseau's right?"

I received an affirmative nod. I took a bit of my breakfast, chewing it thoughtfully. It would probably be a good idea for Lilah to have someone she could talk to. Blair too. I had no idea what they'd seen and how it might have affected them.

"Okay, so sign language, therapy, home school. Future. Yeah."

I suddenly felt like the walls were crushing down on me and it was difficult to breathe. I got up and quickly left the courtyard, retreating into one of the rooms where they wouldn't be able to see my face. I closed my eyes and pressed my face against the cool brick wall, trying to calm myself. The future? Could I really think about the future? So long, my only goal had been to stay alive, to protect my girls. And now that I was free… I was lost. I had no idea what to do.

I thought about what my life had been before Lucien, what I'd been planning to do. Ruling the city? Marriage? Kids? How could I marry anyone when I could barely be near them without fear of what they'd say, what they'd see on me? The filth of Lucien's taint. Kids? The mere thought of sex… I knew that the siblings wouldn't hurt me but… every time I thought about hands on my skin, I couldn't help but see Lucien's face in my mind.

"Elena, are you okay?"

I turned sharply. Rebekah had followed me, watching with concern.

"Y…yeah. I'm fine. I… I'm going to go out… see Sophie and Cami." I patched on a smile. "Will you all be okay with the girls?"

"I think we'll be fine. And honestly I don't think you could pry my brothers away from those girls right now." I nodded. "Did you want me to come out with you? I need to refurbish the girl's room anyway."

"Umm, no I'll be alright. Maybe take them with you when you go though? They've not been able to say how their room is decorated before."

She nodded, still looking a little worried. I gave her a smile and went back to the courtyard.

"I'm going out for a little bit." I turned to the girls. "You two be good for your daddies. And Uncle Finn and Auntie Freya and Rebekah." It felt kind of good to say that.

"Yes mama," said Blair. Lilah smiled and nodded.

I said a quick goodbye to the siblings and headed out into the street. Stepping out, I felt like I could breathe again. I wasn't sure why I found it so difficult to be in the house. All I'd wanted was to be with the Mikaelsons again… why was I running from them?

I shook my head and focused on the street, falling into a steady rhythm. As I walked, I noticed people on the street pausing to look at me, vampires and witches I assumed. A few smiled. Some even bowed their head slightly.

I noticed a crowd gathered around an alley, a few police officers dotted around. I frowned and crossed over the street to avoid it. Rousseau's wasn't far and I figured it wouldn't be open yet but I couldn't help but move quickly. I wanted to see Sophie and Cami again, just to confirm that they were okay, that nothing had happened in the past five years.

Luck was on my side for once. Cami was unlocking the front door as I neared.

"Hey…"

My voice was soft but she heard and turned sharply. Her eyes widened.

"ELENA!"

She ran over and hugged me, holding me close to her.

"Hey Cami."

I felt warm and safe in a way that, despite their best efforts, I hadn't managed with the Mikaelsons. I guess I felt that if there was anyone I could talk to about what had happened, it was Cami. She was a psychologist. She wouldn't judge me.

"You're alive. You're here. When did you get back?"

"Yesterday. I'm guessing that Klaus had filled you in on everything? With your… therapy sessions?"

"Yes, he has. Come on, let's go inside and we can talk."

She finished unlocking the door and ushered me into the cool interior. We took a seat at the bar and I rested my head against the smooth surface, drawing comfort from the blank stretch of wood. Cami looked at me and her face was calm, free of judgement.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" she asked.

"I… I don't know if I can." I looked down. "It's… it scares me."

"Hey, it's okay. You've been through an ordeal. You need to take your time, to heal, to share. Have you spoken with the others about your feelings?"

"No. I… I feel like they won't want me around if they know everything that happened."

"I know that that's not true. They love you, they will always want you. I understand why you feel that way though. If you want, you can talk to me… and maybe we can work up to talking to the others about it later? Does that sound okay?"

"That sounds great actually…"

Cami reached over and touched my hand.

"I'm here. Whatever you need, I'll try and help." She regarded me for a moment. "How about, to take the pressure off, I'll start doing my work and you can just talk to me as and when you're ready. Does that sound okay?"

"That sounds good."

She smiled and got to her feet, going behind the bar to start stocking the shelves. I looked down at the bar, running my fingers over the loops and whirls of the wood. I closed my eyes, took a long, deep breath. Could I do this?

Yes. I could. And I needed to.

I took a moment to collect my thoughts, working out where to begin, and then started to talk.


	30. Chapter XXIX

**A/N: Just quickly, this is not the end of the story. There is still A LOT to come, so please stick around. I promise it'll be worth it!**

* * *

I chatted to Cami for a long time. I wasn't sure about sharing the supernatural stuff at first but after a little hesitation, she assured me that Klaus had more than filled her in. That made it a lot easier. At least she wouldn't think I was crazy.

I told her about things I wasn't sure I'd be able to say, about Lucien, about how I felt. I didn't tell her everything that had happened, there were somethings I couldn't bring myself to say, even though I knew Cami wouldn't judge me. We'd been talking for about an hour when the door opened and Sophie came in.

"So the rumours are true" She grinned. "You're back!"

"I am back."

She came over and gave me a hug.

"Well, welcome home your majesty."

I groaned.

"Please don't call me that."

"Oh yeah," said Cami. "You're like the queen of the city aren't you? Does this mean we have to bow and scrape to you?"

"No! Please no!" Despite my protests, I was laughing. It was nice to be back with my friends again. "It didn't take long for people to notice me then."

"Of course not. We've spent five years with the Mikaelsons badgering every supernatural creature in the quarter to help find you…" she looked down, a little ashamed. "And… I'm sorry, about the witches not helping. I did what I could… but that was really shitty of them."

"It's okay… I doubt it would have helped."

She touched my hand, squeezing lightly in a sign of apology and comfort. I squeezed back.

I stayed at the bar as the two of them set everything up and opened. People started to drift in and I noticed a number of people, witches and vampires I presumed, doing a double take when they saw me. At first it was okay, but after a little while it began to get on my nerves.

"Okay, I am going to head home," I said, getting up. "I'll see you two soon though!"

I left the bar and headed back down the street. The crowd I'd noticed earlier had thinned a little but was still there, along with even more police officers. Curiosity got the better of me and I crossed over to investigate.

"What's going on?" I asked someone at the edge of the crowd, craning my neck a little to see.

"They found a body. A girl," the person responded before diverting their focus back to the alley.

"Do they know who it is yet?" I asked.

"Some tourist," said another person.

I frowned, watching the alley for a moment before deciding to move on. It was none of my concern, most likely some vampire had got careless and left their dinner on the street. I headed home, feeling oddly relaxed. Even without telling Cami everything, I'd been able to unburden myself a little bit and that felt good.

I reached the Mikaelson house and went into the courtyard. The girls were seated in front of Freya who was making feathers float for them while they laughed and tried to catch them.

"Hey Freya." I frowned. "The boys stick you with babysitting?"

I'd expected them to still be glued to the girls, like Rebekah had predicted but there was no sign of them. I felt my heartbeat pick up, panicking a little. Had something happened?

She laughed.

"No, Rebekah dragged them off upstairs. She had a task for them. I volunteered to watch them so I wouldn't get roped in."

I nodded and went to sit down, but a loud bang followed by an angry curse from upstairs diverted my attention. I couldn't help but flinch at the sudden noises, but I recognized the voice as that of Klaus which calmed me something. _I was home… I was safe…_

"Was that…?"

"Yes. I felt it was safer down here."

I decided to investigate the noise and headed upstairs to find the source. The banging, which continued and seemed to be getting more aggressive, led me to the girls' room and I quietly pushed open the door to peek in. A peculiar scene met my eyes.

Finn was leant against a wall, watching with mild amusement. His brothers were clustered around a box in the middle of the room. Wooden boards and screws were dotted around, several looked damaged. Elijah had his jacket off, shirt sleeves rolled up and a perplexed look on his face. Kol had a sheet of paper in his hand containing some form of instructions. Klaus was holding one of the boards and was glaring at it furiously like it had insulted him.

"These don't bloody work!" He yelled, hurling the board across the room. Elijah's hand darted out with practiced ease and he caught it without looking up. I wondered just how many had been thrown for him to get that good at catching them.

"As I told you before, throwing them will not help them fit better," he said. "Kol, have you made any headway with the instructions?"

"It's Greek to me brother." He paused and turned the instruction sheet over in his hands "Which is ironic since if it was Greek, I'd actually have a chance at being able to read it."

I smiled to myself, noting the logo on the box. IKEA. Oh Rebekah, you wicked, wicked woman.

"You guys okay?" I asked innocently, drawing their attention to me for the first time.

"We're fine Elena," said Elijah, putting on an obviously strained smile. Finn stifled a laugh and Klaus glared down at the offending pieces of flat pack furniture.

"Are you sure? It sounded like you could use some help… or that the furniture was trying to beat you up."

"We're fine!"

"You're stubborn," I noted.

"We are not going to be beaten by furniture."

"Look, I've done this before, let me help… before you kill it. Not being able to build whatever that's meant to be doesn't make me think any less of you."

I was enjoying teasing them and the look on Finn's face showed he approved, even as the others glowered at me.

"We can do it just fine by ourselves, Elena," said Klaus, stiffly.

"Okay then… if you're sure."

I left the room. Rebekah was in the hall, almost doubled over in silent laughter.

"You are evil," I murmured.

"I know. But it was too good an opportunity to resist. I'm getting the girls proper beds, none of that rubbish. But I thought they could use it till their actual beds arrived and I thought my brothers could use the challenge."

"If the girls are meant to use that till their beds get here, you're assuming they'll actually finish it."

"Fair point, didn't think of that."

* * *

As I predicted, the beds did not get built and the girls made do with the sofas. More often than not I would find myself on the living room floor in the morning. I didn't always remember moving there, I would just wake up there in clean clothes and a blank space in my brain between going to bed and waking up.

I found myself slowly turning back into my old self. I knew I had a long way to go, I wasn't delusional, but I was improving slowly. I'd managed to use my old room again, even if I didn't stay in there the whole night. I still hadn't broached the uncomfortable topics but I was talking to Cami fairly regularly about everything else. She had also started seeing the girls and Elijah, in between angrily trying to build the Ikea stuff, had begun their schooling. His siblings helped too. They divided things up quite neatly, each covering a few different subjects for the girls. I understood that the girls needed to learn, and that the siblings were probably the best people for it (I mean, I hadn't even finished high school officially) but it left me without much to do. The one thing I did get to join in with was Lilah's sign language lessons since Finn pointed out there was no reason for her to know it if no one else could understand her.

I still wasn't ready to announce myself to 'my people' but word had spread quickly through the city and after my first trip to see Sophie, gifts had started showing up on our door. When I asked Elijah about it, he explained that they were a mixture of welcome gifts and apologies. Apparently the witches had a lot to apologize for. Still, it really started to make me uncomfortable. I didn't like being 'in power' and even though I knew it was for the best, I didn't like it.

I came down to breakfast one morning. The brothers were eating with Freya, except Elijah who was standing by the courtyard door with a delivery man, signing something.

"More gifts?" I asked, sitting down.

"No, it's for Rebekah," said Klaus.

"Oh! That must be the beds."

Silence fell over the room and I felt three sets of eyes on me. I turned.

"What?"

"The beds?" Klaus asked.

"Yeah…"

"So after we've been trying to put those Swedish monstrosities together, she bought beds anyway?"

"Yes…" I bit my lip. Finn was fighting laughter. He must have known what Rebekah was doing. Kol glared at his breakfast.

"I'm going to kill her," he muttered.

"Get in line," said Klaus.

"Oh relax you two, it was a joke," said Rebekah, coming down the stairs. She went over to the delivery man and directed him to take the beds upstairs. Elijah came over and sat back down, picking up his paper.

"Did you hear that?" Klaus said. "We've been going crazy with that… thing… and Rebekah was playing a joke on us."

"I heard. Nice one Rebekah." He gave a slight smile. Nice to see his sense of humour hadn't gone over the years. His smile disappeared quickly, replaced with a frown.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He opened his mouth to speak and then looked at the girls, who were watching us with wide eyes.

"Girls, why don't you go look at your new beds?" he said.

They nodded and ran off upstairs. He waited until they were out of sight and put down the paper, displaying the page.

 _SIXTH BODY FOUND. IS A SERIAL KILLER ROAMING THE STREETS?_

"Six bodies?" Klaus picked up the paper. "Vampire you think?"

"If it is, they're being bloody careless…" Kol muttered. "And that's coming from me."

"If it was a vampire, Marcel would have picked up on it," said Rebekah, coming over. "You know nothing goes on around here without him knowing. Besides," she tapped the paper. "These victims weren't fed on."

"So a serial killer. It's a matter for the humans." Klaus put the paper down, disregarding it.

"Just because they weren't fed on, doesn't mean it's a human," said Kol. "It could always be…" He paused and glanced at me. The others followed his gaze, understanding him without speaking. I wondered if this was something they'd discussed before.

"Elena, we don't want to worry you," said Elijah.

"Okay, I'm worried."

"Relax. We just wondered… these killings… it could be Lucien." I stiffened slightly.

"It's certainly his style," murmured Klaus.

I looked down at my breakfast, feeling suddenly sick.

"We just have to know… did Tristan free you… did Tristan kill Lucien?"

The nausea in my stomach seemed to grow and I felt bile burning at the back of my throat. I got up quickly and darted out of the room to the bathroom, making it just in time to throw up in the toilet.

I steadied myself against the sink, meeting my gaze in the mirror. Don't let them see you cry, don't let them see you hurt. Don't let them know.


	31. Chapter XXX

**A/N: I am officially doing a sequel. I had an idea for one that I really like. If there's anything you'd like to see in it, any requests let me know since I've got to plan it out and am open to suggestions at this stage. Once its planned it gets harder to add bits in that you guys ask for (although I always try)**

* * *

I was sitting in the courtyard by myself when the gate creaked. I lifted my head to see Jackson. I smiled.

"Hey Jackson. What can we do for you today?"

"Can I sit?" I nodded and budged over to make room. He sat down beside me. "I figured we needed to have a talk about Lilah."

"Yeah, we do." I knew this conversation was coming. "I guess we need to sort out what's going to happen with her."

"Does Klaus know? That she's a wolf?"

"No. I've not had the chance to bring it up." I paused. "I know that he'll want to take care of it himself. He's never been fond of…"

"Of me?" He smiled slightly. "It's okay, you can say it."

"I was going to say of rivals. I mean, you're a wolf like him, but you're an alpha, your pack adores and respects you. That's something he's always wanted. And if he thinks his daughter likes you better…"

"I get it." He paused. "But really it's about Lilah. What do you think is best for her?"

I considered. Klaus adored Lilah so I knew he'd never hurt her, but if they were ever attacked it'd just be him to defend her. With a pack, she'd be safer and it would let her experience a variety of people and personalities. And a lot of them had been wolves for their whole lives, they'd know more than Klaus did.

"I think she'd be better in your pack."

"I agree. So, to avoid another short notice rush, why don't you bring her along the day of the full moon? We'll take care of her, help her shift. If you want, you can stay in the cabin overnight so you're close to her."

"That sounds like a plan," I said with a smile. "I guess I should tell Klaus… I mean Elijah knows so he probably expects this conversation is coming."

"Tell Klaus what?"

My head shot up. Klaus was at the top of the stairs.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear," murmured Jackson. I nudged him.

"Klaus could you get Elijah and Lilah please? I need to discuss something with you both."

"You know, if you're planning on running off with the mutt, you might want to tell Kol as well," Klaus said, glaring at Jackson. What? Where did that come from?"

"Klaus, you are insane." Jackson laughed. "And for the record, I'm engaged. Your girl is safe, trust me."

Klaus narrowed his eyes but went to fetch Elijah and Lilah. I raised an eyebrow and made a face.

"Did that really just happen?"

"Yes it did. And it's not the first time."

"You're kidding me."

"No. He's really insecure. I think he's worried he'll lose you again and next time it won't be because you've been abducted."

I bit my lip and looked down. My mind went to the rings in my jewellery box. Soon. I wasn't ready yet. But soon.

Elijah and Klaus appeared at the top of the stairs with Lilah. Jackson and I got up to let them passed and they came down to the courtyard to join us.

"So," said Klaus, taking a seat. "What's the problem?"

"Well… Lilah inherited something of yours Klaus. She is a werewolf and on the last full moon she turned for the first time." Klaus blinked. "Don't ask how, we'll discuss that later."

"You knew about this?" he asked, looking to Elijah.

"I did."

"And I've been talking to Jackson," I said before Klaus could demand further answers. "And I think Lilah should spend the full moons with his pack. I'll take her there, spend the night in the bayou and bring her home in the morning. You're her dads, I need your agreement."

"No," said Klaus immediately. "I'm a wolf, I'll look after her on the full moon."

"With all due respect, you've been a wolf for… what? Six years? And you can shift at will so you've probably fully turned like… four times? I've spent a lot longer shifting. I know more about being a wolf than I do being a human."

"And if we need an expert at drinking from the toilet, we'll be sure to call you," Klaus said snidely.

"Klaus, you're being unreasonable," said Elijah. "You have to agree that Lilah will be safer in a pack than anywhere else?"

"I can protect my own daughter," Klaus growled.

"Look, why don't we just ask Lilah what she wants?" I said. "Cause otherwise we're going to argue till the full moon and this will never get resolved."

"Fine," said Klaus, aggravated.

I turned to my daughter, who'd been watching the exchange with wide eyes. I knelt down in front of her.

"Lilah do you remember last month when you got sick? And you… you turned into a wolf?" She nodded. "Well that's because you're very special. And it's going to happen again, every month. When that happens, do you want to go with your daddy or with Jackson, like last time?"

She looked at Klaus and Jackson, chewing her lip nervously.

"It's okay princess," said Elijah. "Say whatever you want."

She took a moment and pointed at Jackson. Klaus scowled and I heard him growl under his breath. I ignored his anger and gave Lilah a smile.

"Thank you Lilah." I looked at the three men. "It's settled then. No more arguing."

Klaus' scowl grew and he stalked off. Elijah gave Jackson a brief nod, picked up Lilah and headed back upstairs with her.

"Well…" I said, when they were gone. "That could have been worse."

He chuckled softly.

"Yes, it could have. No one died, which I guess is an achievement."

"So I guess, I'll see you at the next full moon?" I mentally ran through the calendar. "December 14th?"

"Yes. I'll see you then. I look forward to it." He kissed my cheek. A growl echoed from upstairs and a chunk of stone flew passed Jackson's head.

"Quit it Klaus!" I yelled. "You should go before his aim gets better."

Jackson nodded and left. I couldn't help but think that it was a good thing I'd never tried to actually date anyone since I became a Mikaelson.

I went upstairs to find Klaus. I needed to clear up some things and try to get rid of the bad energy that seemed to be building.

I found him in his room which, fortunately, he'd cleaned since my last visit. He was painting, aggressive streaks of colour that cut through the white canvas. I watched silently for a moment. One of the girl's pictures was pinned onto the easel and he seemed to be working from it.

"Your daughter thinks a lot of you," he said, nodding at the picture. I came closer and saw it was a drawing of a woman with a sword. The word MOMMY was printed beneath it in large jagged letters. I looked at Klaus' canvas and saw that he was painting a similar image, me wielding a sword with wolves swarming at my feet.

"Is that what you think of me too?"

"Yes. In your own way, you're the strongest of us."

He still hadn't looked at me. He moved to continue painting but I reached out and stilled his hand. He looked at me and I could see the pain in his eyes, a buried darkness seeping through.

"Klaus, you need to stop. I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. Neither are the girls. We're here, we're staying, you don't have to fight off the world." I squeezed his hand. "You have your family. You don't need to be afraid."

* * *

Everything had begun to slip back into a familiar routine, and I welcomed it. I would wake early, in whichever room I'd somehow moved to in the night. I'd spend some time relaxing my mind and preparing myself for the day before going downstairs to have breakfast with the others. Elijah was usually there first, reading the paper. We'd eat, then the girls would go off and spend a few hours having lessons, until lunchtime. After lunch varied. Some days we'd go for a walk or do crafts. Some days Cami would come over to talk with them. On Fridays, the sign language teacher would visit. Then in the evening we'd all have dinner together. The girls would be read a story, a job that was highly competed over, before being put to bed. Everyone would drift off to do different things and I'd usually join one of them, depending on how I felt, or I'd go see Cami for my own pseudo therapy session.

I was in the girls' room, painting with them. They loved to paint and Klaus would often come and join us. The boys had gone out on some errand but he'd promised he'd come back and join us when they were done, so I was half listening for him and half focusing on making sure that the girls didn't cover everything in paint. Faint voices floated up to me from the courtyard and I lifted my head, straining my ears to recognize them.

Freya appeared at the doorway, looking distressed.

"Elena, you're needed downstairs."

"Umm… okay…" I got up and headed out onto the balcony with Freya. An unfamiliar man was in the courtyard.

"Hi? Can I help you?" I asked, heading down the stairs.

"Are you Elena Castle?" he asked. I slowed, feeling cool dread settle over me.

"Umm… kind of…" He raised an eyebrow.

"That's a new one. Let me try again, are you or you not the wife of Lucien Castle?"

"Unfortunately, yes I am… why…? What's he done?"

"My name is Detective Will Kinney. I need to come with me."

Oh god. I was going to be sick.

"Mama?" The soft voice seemed impossibly loud and my head shot up in response. The girls were on the balcony, peering through the rails. The detective looked uneasy. I guessed no one wanted to cart a woman away in front of her children.

"Freya, can you take them?" She nodded and hurried up to them, ushering them back to their room.

"Mrs Castle…"

"Please, don't. I'll come with you, just… tell me… am I in trouble?"

"Not yet, no."

He gestured at the door and I reluctantly headed out to his car. He helped me into the back and I closed my eyes. What was going on?

The detective drove me through the streets to the precinct and I felt my heartbeat growing more erratic with every second that passed. What had happened? I knew it was something to do with Lucien, that much was clear, but what? Were my fears being realized?

We pulled up outside the precinct and Detective Kinney came to my door to let me out. My hands were trembling despite my best efforts to stay calm. He paused and gave me a kind smile.

"Relax Mrs Castle. Like I said, you're not in trouble."

"You said not yet," I mumbled.

"Well, do you have something to hide?" My eyes met his, silently panicking. "Relax… I'm joking. I just need to ask you a few questions."

He ushered me into the building, through the desk of police officers to a small room at the back. It held a table and two chairs, a mirror covered one wall. I sat down. He closed the door and turned to me. His face had become serious, all traces of humour stripped away. He came over and sat down opposite me. His eyes seemed to drill into my soul. He was going to see through me and figure out everything I'd tried so hard to bury…

"So. Let's talk."


	32. Chapter XXXI

**A/N: So I've had a few requests for the sequel to include more Original family stuff like the first story. I do realise that I've had the originals vacate much of this one and Sins of the mother, and I wanted to thank you guys for sticking through with it. The sequel will be focused pretty much entirely on the family as a whole. Anything else you want, let me know!**

 **Also, do not get used to all these updates! I have a brief break in dissertation work while I wait for some feedback and when that happens, I go back to that as my priority!**

* * *

"When did you last see your husband, Mrs Castle?" I gritted my teeth, unable to supress my wince at that label.

"Can you please not call me that?" He frowned and looked at me curiously.

"What would you prefer me to call you?"

"Anything is preferable. But you could try Elena. That is my name after all."

"Okay then. Elena. When was the last time you saw your husband?"

"A month or so ago."

 _Exactly one month ago. Chained to a chair._

"Why so long?"

"We had a… falling out."

"How long had you been married for?"

"A year and a half. Give or take a few months."

 _One year, eleven months, ten days_

"And how long had you been together for?"

"A little over five years."

Five years, five months and twenty six days.

"And what caused your falling out?"

"It was a number of factors."

"Such as?" I looked down at the table, silent. "Elena?"

"He was an abusive asshole who used to beat me for fun and who used to –" I cut off sharply. The detective looked taken aback by my honesty.

"I'm sorry to hear that… can I ask why you stayed so long given how he treated you?"

"It was… not by choice Detective, I can assure you of that."

"Reluctant to break up the family? I've seen plenty of women stay in bad situations for the sake of the children."

"Well my children were a factor but it was more like I was reluctant to have their necks broken by trying to leave."

"Did you ever seek police assistance?"

"I never had the chance. And Lucien had a nasty habit of paying people to share his point of view."

A look of realisation dawned on the Detective's face.

"That's why you assumed you were in trouble… you thought he paid me to take you in?"

 _Sure, let's go with that._

"It crossed my mind."

"I can assure you, that's not the case."

"Well then, what is the case? Not to rush you detective but I have two children who probably think I've been locked away by this point."

"Of course. Well, Elena, your husband was found last night. I'm sorry to inform you, that he was murdered." He regarded my expectantly, clearly anticipating a particular type of reaction.

"Are you waiting for me to start crying?"

"I know that sounds crazy after everything you've told me. However, I've dealt with similar cases that have ended in tears for the men they loved."

"Well that's the key distinction. I never loved Lucien."

"But you married him?"

"Again, not by choice." I looked down at the table. "I'm not going to lie and say 'oh we had our differences, but I loved him and I would never wish him dead'. Because, if I'm honest, I wished he would drop dead pretty much every day for the past five years."

"Is this where you add on 'but of course I didn't kill him?'" he asked me.

"Did you want me to?"

"Did you kill him?"

"No."

"Then no. Because usually guilty people say that."

We lapsed into silence, watching each other. I broke it first.

"So since we've established I didn't kill him, any idea who did?"

"I believe that he's the latest victim of the murderer currently operating within our city."

"Serial killer."

"Excuse me?"

"Whoever is doing it is a serial killer, not a murderer. A serial killer kills more than three people over a spread out period of time." He raised an eyebrow. "I have a younger brother, he had… some… odd interests in his teenage years."

"Right… so yes, I do believe he was a victim of the serial killer. His injury pattern is consistent with the other victims. I just wanted to see if you could help me pinpoint when the attack might have taken place."

"I'm sorry that I can't tell you anything. But, like I said, I've not seen him in a month."

"Can you think of anyone who might have seen him since your separation? A friend?"

"Lucien didn't really have friends. Just people who worked for him. If you wanted a list of people who'd want him dead, now that is something I could help you with."

"Thank you for the offer. I'll have to bare that in mind."

"Surely you can work out the time frame from the body? Doesn't you have experts who can tell you when he died?"

"Ordinarily, yes. However, Lucien's body… and a lot of the other victims… are in… a peculiar condition. The bodies were… the coroner described it as desiccated. It makes it nearly impossible to accurately identify the time of death."

My ears pricked up at that. I knew Lucien would be desiccated, it was part of the whole being a vampire deal. But if the others were desiccated, then they must be vampires too.

"Wow… well, good luck with that. Err… am I okay to go?"

"Yes, we're all done. I'll be in touch if I need to ask you anything else." We both got to our feet. "Are you alright to get home?"

"Yes. It's still light out, I'll be okay to walk."

"If you're sure…" he paused. "Elena?"

"Yes?"

"This is grossly inappropriate, given my investigation and the fact your husband was just murdered… but would you consider going for dinner with me?"

"You got this job to hit on murder victim widows?"

"Ordinarily I wouldn't dream of asking but you're not a witness, you're not a suspect and, well, I think it's safe to say you're not in mourning."

"A fair assumption."

"So… what do you say?"

I opened my mouth, intending to politely turn him down.

"I'll think about it."

Where did that come from? I was… well, not married but… actually I really had no idea what I was. I didn't even know if the others wanted to be with me anymore in anything more than a family capacity. Five years was a long time.

"I'll give you my number."

"9-1-1 right?" I teased. He smiled and fished a business card from his pocket, pressing it into my hand.

"My direct line. Give me a call if you make up your mind."

I nodded and tucked the card away. The detective led me out of the room and to the exit of precinct.

"Be careful," he warned. I nodded and headed out onto the street. I didn't say that the only thing I feared now lay in the coroner's office, that any serial killer who faced me would find their nightmares unleashed once the Mikaelsons went after him. To the detective, I was just a nice normal girl who'd had her fair share of bad luck.

I went home quickly, worried about the girls, not to mention what the brothers would do to the local police force if Freya told them what had happened. Despite the killings, the streets were still busy, lit up with Christmas lights. Christmas was a week away and everyone was involved in last minute Christmas shopping. I'd been excited about this Christmas more than any, it was the first one the girls would get to enjoy with their family. Ordinarily I would take my time and appreciate the displays, looking for anything I could get to make their first proper Christmas special but today I just had to hurry back.

As I reached the courtyard, I heard Klaus' voice from the balcony above.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE GOT ARRESTED?"

Ah shit. I'd not been quick enough. Still, at least I'd got back before he started slaughtering law enforcement.

"I did not get arrested," I called out. Immediately they were at my side with a familiar rush of air. "I was taken to the police station, yes, but as you can see…" I held up my bare wrists. "No handcuffs."

"At least not down here," chimed in Kol. I rolled my eyes. Nice to see that the idea of me being arrested hadn't dampened his sense of humour.

"What did they want?" Elijah asked.

"It was to do with the serial killer."

"You been killing people Elena?" Kol teased. I ignored him.

"What did they say?" Elijah pressed.

"Let's put it this way… we can rule out Lucien as the serial killer." They frowned. I sighed. "They called me in to tell me that his body had been found."

"Did Tristan…?" asked Rebekah.

"I don't know." I pulled away from the group. I knew I had to tell them. "The last time I saw Lucien, he was alive. The day Rebekah brought me home, Tristan 'gave' me Lucien. He was chained up, weakened, at my mercy. And I tortured him… but…" I faltered. The truth, the terrible truth. How could I tell them? What would they think of me? "I couldn't kill him. He was right, I was too weak… I had the man who ruined my life, who tortured my children, who beat and ra-" I cut off, clenching my fists until my nails dug into the palm of my hands. "And I froze. I let him live."

No one spoke. I couldn't look at them. I'd betrayed them. I'd let that monster live.

Strong arms encircled me. I didn't know who belonged to but I let them pull me close.

"Mercy doesn't make you weak Elena," said Kol. "It makes you human. And it's part of what we love about you."

"Kol is right, for once. You're not a killer Elena, and that's a good thing," Elijah said.

I hung my head, still ashamed. He could have hurt the girls and it would have been my fault. I stayed quiet, letting myself be held, my family around me. I was drawn to the stairs, still locked in the comforting arms. I knew now that it was Finn holding me, as he was the only one I couldn't see.

After a while though, I had to speak up. I couldn't let my feelings consume me, I had things I needed to tell them.

"There's something else… the detective said a lot of the serial killer victims were desiccated. Like vampires."

"So it's a vampire hunter," said Klaus. "We can handle that."

"Or it might be Tristan. He was the last one to be near Lucien after all," said Rebekah.

"I don't think it's Tristan. Lucien maybe, but not the others," said Elijah. He produced the newspaper and held it up so we could all see without moving.

POSSIBLE CULT INVOLVED WITH SERIAL KILLING VICTIMS?

Under the headline was a picture of a small black card with a white owl drawn onto it. I bit my lip, recognizing the symbol. Not only did I recognize those cards, I had one of my own tucked away in my pocket.

"Are we missing something Elijah?" Klaus asked. Elijah sighed and looked at me, noting the look on my face.

"Elena, you know what this symbol is don't you?"

"Yep."

"Care to explain to my siblings?"

"It's the symbol of the Strix, Tristan's secret vampire club house."

"Actually it's my 'secret vampire club house'. Tristan is just babysitting it…" Elijah muttered.

"Well if this killer is just going after Tristan's vampires, we can ignore it," said Klaus.

I got up from the stairs, wriggling free of Finn's arms. I silently went over to the table, pulled the card from my pocket and set it on the table so that everyone could see it.

"Still think we don't have a problem?"

* * *

 **A/N: Next chapter – some sweet family time before I start tormenting my characters again.**


	33. Chapter XXXII

The next week went by slowly. I was quarantined to the house for my own protection, which I absolutely hated. Elijah and Klaus spent most of the week berating me for joining Tristan's 'cult'. It got to the point that if one of them mentioned it, I'd leave the room.

The only good thing about my forced sequestering was that I was able to make things ready for Christmas. The boys had put a huge tree in the courtyard and I spent a day decorating it with Rebekah, Freya and the girls. The twins were very excited about the idea of Christmas. Their lessons had been halted for the week and instead I'd been working on crafts with them. We'd made cookies, cards, invites, decorations. We were having a family meal on Christmas day but we had also arranged a larger meal on Christmas Eve. It wasn't Mikaelson levels of big (Freya had told me that they used to throw huge Christmas parties) but I still wasn't ready to face quite that many people. We'd settled on sixteen, including the family. The list had included Tristan and Aya but he'd sent a card politely declining, which I understood. Even though he'd helped me, I knew the siblings didn't like him and he was probably trying to avoid unnecessary conflict. He did send gifts for the girls which I tucked away under the tree. I didn't know if any of the others would come and I was starting to get nervous about it. My record of parties and large meals was not great. I decided to try and bury my anxieties. As long as no one died, I was happy.

I woke up the morning of the meal with a churning sensation in my stomach. I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths to clear my head. I couldn't afford to lose my mind, I had too much to do. The guests weren't arriving until the evening but I still had quite a bit to do to prepare everything.

My eyes went to the clock on my bedside table.

I'd overslept. Shit.

I dashed out of bed, pulling on some clothes. I hurried downstairs to find Elijah and Klaus hard at work, putting up the last of the decorations. Rebekah was by the tree with the girls, neatly arranging presents. Finn was carrying a large brazier, followed by Freya who had a bag of coal.

"Elena, did you sleep well?" Elijah asked.

"I… you…"

"Rebekah pointed out we had been overly harsh on you. We have no idea what you went through and what led you to join the Strix. We were being unfair," said Elijah.

"We know that this is important to you, so as way of an apology we're helping to make it as special as we can," said Klaus. "The caterers are in the kitchen getting everything ready for tonight. We've got the list of names, we've divided up everything that needs doing. You can relax."

I blinked, startled. Rebekah glanced up and gave me a knowing smile.

"Thank you," I smiled brightly. "Wait, where's Kol?"

"He went out to pick up some last minute things."

"Okay… so there's nothing you need me to do?"

"You can run to Jardin Gris with me," said Freya. "I need to pick up some herbs."

"Sounds good, let's go."

We headed out towards the Jardin Gris. My nerves had evaporated and I felt relaxed.

"What are the herbs for?" I asked as we walked.

"To promote a peaceful atmosphere. It's probably not necessary but I felt that with Klaus, Jackson, Marcel and Sophie in a room together it was better to be safe than sorry."

I nodded. I'd struggled when I'd been writing my invites about whether to include Jackson after Klaus' reaction to him last time. But he was a friend and he'd helped Lilah with the full moons, twice now. In the end I had to invite him, but to try and prevent fighting I'd extended the invite to his fiancé Hayley.

"Maybe I should give them plastic cutlery so no one gets stabbed," I suggested. Freya grinned.

We reached Jardin Gris and went in. I browsed the displays while Freya went to the counter to collect her package. I recognized the cashier vaguely and she gave me a shy, somewhat guilty smile. It was a look I was used to receiving from the witches. Sophie said a lot of them felt bad for not helping to find me. The rest, she said, were just hoping that I wouldn't hurt them for it by acting like they felt guilty. I knew, and Klaus was fond of reminding me, at some point I'd have to assume control again and deal with the witches but I wasn't looking forward to it.

* * *

We went back to the house, where the boys were arranging tables. There was still no sign of Kol. Before I could say anything, Rebekah had banished me upstairs to take some time to relax. Mildly bemused, I went up and ran myself a hot bath. I sank into the water and let myself relax. It had been ages since I'd been able to actually unwind and clear my head. Christmas… I'd not been able to really enjoy a Christmas, not just since I'd been taken but since my parents had died. Jenna had tried to make it special but it was just a reminder of what I'd lost.

Not anymore. This was my first Christmas with the Mikaelsons. It was a fresh start.

I heard the clock strike and got out of the bath, I dried my hair and put on a dress that Rebekah had chosen for me. It was pretty and made me look like I was dressed in icicles.

I headed downstairs. The others had got changed too and were putting the final touches to the table. My eyes swept over the table and I frowned.

"You put out too many places."

"No, we didn't," said Klaus. My frown grew and I counted the seats again. Me, the girls, Mikaelsons, Marcel, Jackson and Hayley, Sophie, Cami. Fourteen. I counted the seats a third time. Twenty one. They knew Tristan and Aya weren't coming but even if they had set places for them, that would still leave four extra seats.

"Yeah, you have. I only invited seven people. Tristan and Aya said no. Five, plus all of us, fourteen."

Klaus paused and contemplated the table.

"Well now… that is a problem. We'll have to rectify it."

"Quick, help me clear the extra places." I moved forward to do exactly that but Klaus stopped me.

"That's not what I meant."

He nodded towards the courtyard gate. I followed his gaze. The gate swung open and Kol came in.

"Room for a few more?" He stepped aside. My eyes widened as I took in the people behind him.

"Jeremy!"

I let out an excited cry and ran over to him, throwing my arms around his neck. He'd got so big, not just tall but muscular. He held me tight and I felt so warm and safe. I'd spoken to him once since I'd got out but seeing him… it was so much better.

"Don't mind us," came Damon's voice and I reluctantly released my brother to acknowledge the others. Caroline, Bonnie, Tyler, Matt, Alaric, Damon… all my friends from home.

"What… how are you guys here?"

"Kol invited us," said Bonnie. "And sent us plane tickets so we could get here in time." I looked at Kol.

"Come on Elena. It's Christmas. You really thought we'd keep you from your family?"

I felt so touched.

"Besides, we're dying to see the little ones," added Caroline.

It hit me than that I'd not seen them since I'd announced my pregnancy.

"They're upstairs getting changed. Make yourself comfortable in the meantime," said Elijah.

I hugged all of my friends as they shrugged of their jacket, stacked gifts beneath the tree and sat down. I chatted with my friends, falling into easy conversation that came from a long term friendship. It was like I'd never left Mystic Falls.

Cami arrived, accompanied by Marcel and Sophie. I did the introductions, a little concerned that my old and new friends wouldn't connect well. I shouldn't have worried. Cami began to chat with Alaric, while Sophie, Freya and Bonnie grouped together.

Rebekah came down with the girls. Caroline immediately moved towards them, excited. I intercepted and took my children, who seemed a little wary of the group, and introduced them to everyone, letting them adjust and get comfortable before releasing their hands. Lilah situated herself near Tyler and Jeremy, while Blair clambered up onto Caroline's lab and babbled away in her sweet bird-like chirp.

Jackson and Hayley arrived not long after. I was worried Jackson's presence would provoke some hostility from Klaus but he seemed content to talk with Marcel.

"Sorry we're late," said Jackson. "But we had an unexpected visitor."

He nodded behind him. I looked down and saw Ansel at his feet.

"Ansel!" I knelt down and hugged him happily, ruffling his fur.

"Does it upset you that she got more excited by the wolf being here than you?" Damon teased Jeremy.

"It's hardly a competition," I said with a grin. "Ansel has saved my life way more times than Jeremy."

I returned to the table. All but one of the seats were filled. I frowned.

"You got anymore surprise visitors coming?" I asked.

"No… Kol invited Stefan with your other friends but… clearly he decided not to accept," Klaus explained.

"He feels really bad about everything he did," said Caroline.

I made a face and looked away. Elijah, noticing my discomfort, signalled for the caterers to bring out the first course. The presence of food and wine helped to spike the conversation. Everyone was in good spirits and catching up with everything that had happened over the past five years was fun.

We had just finished our starter when there was a noise from the gate, an uncertain clearing of the throat. I got up and went to the gate. Detective Kinney was behind it and he gave me a shy smile. I opened the gate and stepped back to let him in.

"Detective Kinney."

"Elena." He glanced over my shoulder at the table. "Bad time?"

"That depends. Are you here to arrest me?"

The table had fallen quiet and everything was watching. Blair looked up.

"Are you going to take my mama away again?" she said.

"Elena, you got arrested?" Caroline asked.

"No Caroline, I did not."

"She just loves those handcuffs, Caroline," Kol laughed.

"Oh god…" I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath. "Please excuse them. They are very drunk."

"I get it. And I left my handcuffs in the car, sorry to disappoint." He grinned. "I just… I wanted to give you this." He held up a Christmas card.

"You came all this way just to drop off a card?"

"I was in the area."

"Oh?"

"Maybe… I was hoping to take you out for a drink, since… you didn't call."

"You are very persistent."

"And you are clearly busy so I'll be on my way."

I bit my lip and glanced at the table. Caroline and Rebekah gave me a look, a look I'd seen on Caroline's face whenever I talked to a guy she approved of. Her 'shipping' face, I called it.

"Do you want to join us Detective?" I asked.

"I… I would like that."

I smiled and returned to the table. The detective took the empty seat and gave an awkward smile. The boys were watching me with a mixture of expressions. Kol and Finn both seemed amused, Elijah looked slightly perplexed and Klaus looked like he was ready to disembowel the detective. I wondered if it was too late to break out the plastic cutlery.

"So detective, you arrested Elena? What was she doing?" Caroline asked.

"Please tell me it involved her being drunk? She's fun when she's drunk," said Damon.

"I was not arrested!"

"Elena, I'd really prefer to hear that you were arrested then have the idea that you have a handcuff fetish put into my head," said Jeremy.

"I second that," added Alaric.

"I did not arrest Elena. She was just helping me with some questions around an ongoing investigation," the Detective explained.

"Thank you!"

"And you decided that drinks was the next logical step following interrogation?" Klaus asked. "Is that professional?"

"Strictly speaking, probably not. But… some rules are meant to be broken occasionally… and I think Elena might be worth breaking them for."

"Please forgive my brother, detective. We're protective of Elena. But you're here to enjoy a meal, not be interrogated," said Elijah.

"I understand entirely. I've got a sister myself."

"I bet you don't drive her crazy like this lot do," said Freya.

"Oh… I'm sure I had my moments when we were growing up," he laughed.

I wasn't sure if it was the herbs Freya had burned or the wine, but we were able to slowly slip back into the relaxed atmosphere. Matt, having got a job on the Mystic Falls police force, chatted with Detective Kinney which meant that Klaus couldn't pester him. I knew that after everyone was gone, he'd probably flip his lid but I was trying to forget that. I talked to Hayley, who seemed pretty nice if a little guarded.

* * *

We finished our dessert and I noticed the girls were starting to flag. They weren't used to being up so late and all the excitement was getting to them.

"I should put them to bed," I said, getting up.

"No wait!" said Rebekah. "We need to do something first."

"What's that?"

"Well Elena, everyone, it's been a Mikaelson family tradition that during the winter bonfire season, we would write down wishes for the year and burn them. And since, for the past five years, all we've wanted is you home safely, I would really like it if we could do that tonight."

"Alright then, bust out the paper and pens." If it was a Mikaelson tradition, I wanted to embrace it.

Rebekah grinned and fetched some scraps of paper for everyone. I took mine and considered for a moment what to write. There was really only one wish I could think of, something I desperately hoped for.

 _I wish that this year brings me a chance to be happy._

"I wish Elena stops bringing home strays. First dogs, now police officers. What's next?" Klaus said, getting up and throwing his scrap into the fire.

"And I wish that Klaus catches something that makes his tongue fall off so he can't make any more smart ass comments," I said, going over and tossing my own wish in.

"Can I change my wish? I like Elena's," said Damon.

One by one everyone came over and threw their wishes away. We stood around the brazier, watching the hungry flames consume the paper. Marcel and Rebekah held hands. I wondered what they had wished for.

After a few minutes, I took the girls upstairs and put them to bed. I felt eyes on me and looked up to see Klaus watching. I kissed the girls heads and tucked them in before heading over to the door.

"Please, don't yell. I know you're mad but can the anger wait until Christmas is over? I just want one good memory. Please?" I asked, coming out into the hall and pulling the door shut behind me.

"I'm not going to yell." He looked down and he seemed to be struggling to form words. "When Rebekah told me and Elijah off, she pointed out that we… we commandeered your life. We took you from your home, we expected you to change to fit in with us with very little compromise on our part. And… we'll have eternity to be with you. I know how I feel about you and I know how the others do too, but we can wait. We're just happy to be in your life, in whatever capacity you want. So… we should let you enjoy being human, while you still can. And if what you want is a human relationship… well… I don't like it but I'll keep my opinion to myself." He touched my cheek. "I'm not giving up on you, but I'll wait. However long it takes."

"Thank you." I touched his hand. "I don't know what I want. Everything is overwhelming at the moment. I thought I could just slip back into where I left off but I've changed… and… I don't know where I'm heading. But then… I've never really had a chance to try different things…"

"I understand. And we'll still be here when you make up your mind."

We went back downstairs. Everyone was relaxed, having a few last drinks. Detective Kinney looked up as we entered and came over to me.

"I should get going."

"I'll walk you out."

We headed out of the courtyard onto the street. I knew that the vampires assembled could still hear whatever we said but the walls gave the illusion of privacy.

"Thank you for a lovely evening Elena," he said.

"I am… very sorry, for anything and everything my friends and family said."

"Don't be. I had a good night. Different. But good." He leaned down and kissed my cheek lightly. "Have a good Christmas Elena."

"And you, detective."

"Please, call me Will."

"Will."

Our hands brushed against one another. He smiled and headed to his car. I watched him go and I felt… so confused.

* * *

 **A/N: Serious question. Do you guys think I could write as a profession? Because I'm on the verge of finishing uni and I have no idea whether to abandon writing as an option in favour of just finding a job that pays, or if I should try and one that gives me time to write.**


	34. Chapter XXXIII

Things were good.

That was such a pathetic way to describe things but 'good' was the only word I could really use. Christmas Day had been amazing. No fights, minimal teasing, just good friends and good food. It was great to spend time with my brother, my friends again. It had felt so natural, I'd been sad when they'd left to go back to Mystic Falls.

I was eager to cling onto the mood that had descended on all of us over Christmas. I definitely did not want think about my responsibilities as 'queen' that I was neglecting, although I was reminded of it by the arrival of a stack of Christmas presents that materialized outside our front gate. I knew eventually I'd have to deal with that particular part of my life but I was content to ignore it for the time being.

I was sitting in the living room while Elijah was tutoring the girls. I found his voice soothing and sitting there, listening to him read to them was comforting to me. Klaus was painting nearby, ignoring us all.

"But you must fear, his greatness weighed, his will is not his own, for he himself is subject to his birth," Elijah intoned.

"Hamlet Elijah? A little on the nose don't you think?" Klaus said suddenly.

"I'm sorry Niklaus. Would you prefer Macbeth? Stars, hide your fires: let not light see my black and deep desires."

Klaus raised an eyebrow at his brother and set down his paintbrush.

"Ay, that incestuous, that adulterate beast, with witchcraft of his wit, with traitorous gifts – O wicked wit and gifts that have the power so to seduce! – won to his shameful lust the will of my most seeming-virtuous queen," Klaus snarled.

Elijah took on an expression like he had been slapped. I looked between the two of them.

"Are you really having an argument through Shakespeare? And if so, can I get someone to translate so that I know whose winning?" I asked.

"Are they fighting mama?" Blair asked.

"I'm not sure," I said.

"The expense of spirit in a waste of shame is lust in action; and till action, lust is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame, savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust, enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight, past reason hunted, and no sooner had past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait on purpose laid to make the taker mad; mad in pursuit and in possession so."

"Mature," I commented. "Really, really mature. How old are you both again?"

They ignored me, too involved in their verbal sparring.

"This momentary joy breeds months of pain; this hot desire converts to cold disdain."

"Girls, why don't you go play in your room? You can finish your lesson when they're done with… whatever this is meant to be."

The girls nodded and headed out of the room. I considered trying to intervene in the not quite argument but decided, since it was still somewhat restrained and polite, to leave them be for the time being and only intervene if it escalated.

"Do you really want to continue with this Niklaus? I'm fairly sure I can list a great deal more flaws of yours than you can of mine. I'm also sure I know more Shakespeare than you do."

"I am disgraced, impeach'd and baffled here, pierced to the soul with slander's venom'd spear, the which no balm can cure but his heart-blood which breathed this poison," Klaus said, smirking slightly.

"You two are nerds," I said.

"I'm going to be the bigger man here Niklaus. I have to go back to helping with _**my**_ daughter's education."

"Your daughter?" Klaus' amusement seemed to have disappeared. "I'm sorry am I hearing that correctly?"

"Last time I checked your ears worked, didn't they? Or can we add that to your list of failures?"

Klaus snarled and lunged for Elijah. I leapt up, intending to intervene but found myself knocked backwards as Klaus' path collided with me. I fell to the floor, my head slamming against the wooden base of the sofa, dazing me. Elijah and Klaus were snarling and shouting but their voices sounded far away. The world around me seemed to blur and reform.

"Elena, you really need to be more careful. You're always getting yourself hurt."

I looked up, expecting to see Kol or Finn, drawn by the fighting. Instead, my eyes widened in horror as they met the dark hazel eyes that haunted my nightmares.

"Lucien…"

"You're so clumsy sweetheart. You know only I'm allowed to mark your skin."

"No… no… you're dead… you're not real…"

"Does this feel real to you love?" He reached out and touched me cheek, his nails digging into my skin.

I jumped back, scrambling to my feet.

"Elena?"

I looked up to see Klaus and Elijah looking at me with concern. I looked back at the floor but Lucien had vanished.

"I… I…"

I hurried out of the room and down to mine, locking the door behind me. I need some time to myself to work out just what was going on inside my head. I didn't think I was insane… but I'd seen him. He'd been clear as day, I'd felt his fingers on my skin. But I knew he couldn't really be there; he was dead.

I went to the mirror and locked eyes with myself, like I used to. I took slow steady breaths, focusing on my reflection.

 _Elena Gilbert._

 _Elena Gilbert_

 _Daughter of Miranda and Grayson Gilbert_

 _Sister of Jeremy Gilbert._

"Wife of Lucien Castle."

I turned around sharply and saw him, sprawled at ease on the bed.

"You're not real. You're dead."

"Am I really?" He seemed amused by the prospect. "I don't feel dead."

He got up from the bed and stalked towards me, his movements possessing the same predatory grace that it had always held. Standing before me it would be easy to think that he was alive. But he wasn't. He couldn't be.

So what was he?

"You aren't real!"

I grabbed a trinket from the dresser and hurled it at him. It smashed. He was gone. But I still felt his eyes on me, heard his voice whispering in my ears.

"I don't like other people touching my things…"

I spun sharply, searching for some sign of him, that I wasn't losing my mind. There was nothing, but an empty room. I dug my fingers into my arms, hoping that I could use the pain to ground myself in reality. I gasped softly at the sting in my flesh.

"You seem to keep forgetting that you belong to me. You have no rights, no choice. You do AS I SAY."

My legs gave way under me and I curled up on the floor, rocking back and forth.

"Get out of my head…" I whispered.

"I own you Elena… as long as you fear me, I will haunt you. As long as your blood runs cold at the thought of me, I will lurk in the shadows. As long as you think of me, I am real. As long as I have that black seed in the back of your mind, roots digging down into your brain, I will exist. You will never be free of me."

I felt the brush of fingers across my skin. They felt like they were everywhere at once and each touch made me groan, revulsion curdling my insides.

"Please… please… please…" I whispered. My fingers scratched at my arms, clawing at anything of substance, searching for something real to latch onto. My fingers became slippery the more I scratched, rivulets of blood flowing down my arms.

I thought I could hear voices, concern from outside my door but they were muffled and distorted by Lucien's toxic whisper.

"You can pretend Elena. But I know that darkness in you. I know because I put it there and it will always be there. Just like me."

"No! That's not true! I'm not like you!" Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't be like him. I couldn't! I was nothing like him, he was a monster!

"Liar!"

I managed to clamber to my feet. My head hurt and I felt like I'd been struck repeatedly. I could see Lucien's shape but I refused to look over at him.

"Leave me alone…" I leant against the dresser, feeling physically exhausted. He chuckled darkly.

"I can't do that Elena."

I met my reflection in the mirror and for a moment I didn't recognize myself. Behind me was Lucien, closer than I thought. I let out an angry cry, slamming my fist into the mirror. I splintered, my reflection fragmenting and Lucien's face disappearing entirely. Shards of glass cut into my fist, the thin streams of blood now rivers gushing down my fingers. It hurt but I barely felt it. I needed to get out, get away from this house where Lucien had managed to take root and spread his black influence. But where could I go? Where could I run to, if even my own home wasn't safe from him?

Tristan.

His face came to the front of my mind. His flat had been safe. He'd protected me from Lucien, even when my family had failed me. They couldn't protect me, they'd never been able to but he could. Tristan meant safety, more than the Mikaelsons did now…

Resolved, I felt a little bit of my strength returning. I straightened up and went to the door, unlocking it. Finn was stood there, face concerned.

"Are you okay Elena? I heard a commotion."

"I… I'm fine. I just need some air." I was holding my hand awkwardly, aware of the blood running down and dripping onto the floor.

"You're bleeding."

"I'm fine."

"Elena…"

"I said I'm fine!" I snapped.

I turned and hurried out. I ignored Finn calling after me and went downstairs, across the courtyard. Rebekah was seated there and half rose when I entered but I ignored her, moving with determination. Get to safety. Get to safety.

* * *

I was barely aware of my journey, too focused on my goal. I knew people were staring at me, the dishevelled girl with the bleeding hand and the tear stained cheeks. I reached Tristan's apartment building and went up. One of his guards was at the doors and he moved to stop me as I approached. I wonder if he thought I was the serial killer, out to off another member of the strix.

"Reconsider," I told him sharply. "I need to see Tristan."

He faltered and stepped back. I wasn't sure if I'd actually intimidated him, or if he just figured Tristan was more a danger to me than I was to him. I went inside the apartment.

Tristan was seated on the sofa and he looked up as I entered, speeding over to my side in a second.

"Elena, dear god what happened to you?"

"He won't leave me alone!" I said, the tears starting up again.

"Who?"

"Lucien! He's everywhere… he's in my head… he won't go!"

Tristan didn't say anything, he just wrapped his arms tight around me and guided me to the sofa. He held me, letting my sob until I ran out of tears. At that point, he fetched the bandages and began to treat my hand, both of us sitting in silence.

Eventually I could stand it no longer. I looked up at him and asked the question that I'd been wondering since Lucien's voice had first reached my ears.

"Am I crazy?"

"No Elena, you're far from crazy. You're a girl who's been through a tremendous amount. It's enough to put strain on anyone."

"I can't go on like this… I can't get rid of him…"

"You need time to heal Elena. That's all. Time in a place where you feel safe and that is stable…"

"You don't think I should go back…"

"I want to help you Elena. But they're not good for you, not while you're like this." He got up and went into one of the rooms, returning a moment later with a case. I recognized it instantly. It was the one I'd retrieved for him, the large leather case with the fleur de lis symbol imprinted on the front.

"I have an idea," he said. "You will probably not like it but I want you to consider it and remember that I only want what's best for you, alright?"

"Yes…?"

"You need to feel safe at home, you need to be able to heal without the Mikaelsons upsetting you." He touched my cheek. "I care about you. You can trust me."

He removed his hand and turned the case so that the clasps were faced towards me. I reached over hesitantly and flicked the clasps up, opening the lid.


	35. Chapter XXXIV

Inside the box were five stakes. They were made of black wood, each carved with a pattern of ivy along the bulk of the wood. The handles were carved into the shape of animal heads, highly detailed and set with gem stones for the eyes.

"Y…You want me to kill them?" Realisation set in and I leapt out of my seat. Tristan grabbed my wrist, too lightly to hurt me but enough to hold me in place.

"Elena, listen, you have to trust me," he said. "I don't want you to kill them. If they die, every other vampire in the world dies remember? This won't kill them. These have only ever been an insurance policy… they'll put them to sleep, just until you get your head sorted. I'm just trying to look out for you."

He put a hand on my cheek and looked deep into my eyes.

"Do you remember when I asked that if I told you to do something, would you accept it was for your own good?"

"Yes, I remember."

"Trust me. This is for your benefit. Take them. Please. You don't have to act rashly, you can consider it carefully but know that I am doing this for your own good."

I felt it again. That unyielding loyalty that compelled me to listen to what he said and see the good in it against all odds.

"Do you still trust me?"

Of course I did. I'd run to him for safety, safety I used to acquaint with the Mikaelsons. I trusted him. Unquestionably.

"Yes."

"You promised to do anything I asked of you, remember?"

"Yes…"

"Then take these."

He closed the case and touched my hand. There was something in his eyes, a strange determination. I felt so uncertain. I would never want to hurt the Mikaelsons. They were my family and I'd spent so long fighting to get back to them. But Tristan had looked out for me since I met him. If he said that this was to help me, I wanted to believe him.

I tried to think, to weigh up the pros and cons but my head felt fuzzy, like it was stuffed with cotton wool, and there was a strange pain in the back of my brain.

"Okay."

"Thank you." He brushed some hair from my face. "Do you want to stay here for a while?"

"No I… I need some time to think…"

He nodded, understanding. I left the apartment, the case heavy in my hand. I wasn't really sure where to go. The Mikaelson house and Tristan's apartment, my two shelters, were out and I wasn't really sure where that left me.

I pulled my phone from my pocket. There were a number of texts from the siblings, asking if I was okay. I sent a brief text back in response to one, hoping that that would be enough to get some quiet. Now I just needed to work out what to do with myself.

I went for a walk by the water. It shone in the sunlight and for a moment I was tempted to throw the case into the water. But no… even the thought sent that familiar pain through my head and made my stomach twist.

I sat down on a bench and opened the case, gently running my fingers over the stakes. I found myself wondering what it would be like. I mean, a chance to think and be by myself. To heal without interference. But… I wouldn't be healing, not really. My mind whispered doubts to me. If I did this, if I put them to sleep to give myself time, my problems wouldn't go away. I'd still have my issues with the family, they'd just be put on hold. I could deal with the other things but it was just a temporary measure.

I sighed and buried my face in my arms. I felt so confused. Nothing in my head made sense.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I looked up to see Jackson. He nodded at the seat, asking if he could sit. I gestured for him to join me. He sat down on the bench, the case between us. I expected him to ask but he didn't say anything, waiting for me to talk.

"How's Hayley?" I asked.

"She's good. We're… actually expecting our first child."

"Really? That's great news!"

"Thanks… I wanted to tell you before but it was still a little early." I smiled and touched his hand.

"I'm happy for you Jackson."

He looked out across the water, smiling slightly. I followed his gaze, watching the faint winter sun play over the rippling river.

"I'm struggling Jackson…" I admitted after a while of us sitting in silence.

"That's fairly obvious Elena. Anyone who knows you can see that you're falling apart."

"Is it that obvious?"

"You make a good attempt of hiding it, I'll give you credit for that but the signs are there. I can see it just looking at you. You get this look in your eyes…"

"When I was… away, all I could think about was getting home. Getting back here and back to them, getting the girls back to their fathers. I didn't realise that… I thought coming back would magically make everything alright again."

"And it's not."

"No. I can't sleep, I keep hearing and seeing things that aren't real and every time I think I'm getting better, something happens and I'm right back where I started."

"You can't expect things to happen overnight Elena."

"You sound like Cami."

"Well she's right. You went through an ordeal. You were kidnapped, held hostage and tortured for five years. No one can begin to understand what you went through and if you're honest with yourself, I don't think you've really accepted it yourself. You need to take time. It's probably going to be a long time before you're anything like your old self, and you need to accept that."

"So I'm going to be stuck like this for… how long? Months? Years?"

"Impossible to say. But the longer you fight it, the longer it will take."

"Great… that's a bleak future…"

Jackson touched my arm, a silent gesture of comfort.

"Is the box of stakes related to this?"

I looked at the case, the stakes visible. It probably wasn't a good idea to leave it open in this city. I reached over and closed the case.

"I received a suggestion to help with my healing process. I'm not sure if it's a good idea and I feel kind of guilty for even considering it."

"You do what you need to do Elena. You can't spend your life being a martyr, otherwise you're not really living."

"Thanks Jackson…" I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, happy to take a moment to just not think. We sat in silence together, feeling the air around us and the sounds of the city wafting over us.

I knew it couldn't last. Inevitably I had to return to the Mikaelson house and deal with their concern. It wasn't a bad thing that they were concerned about me, it was just… full on and sometimes it was too much for me to deal with.

"You should get back, I'm sure Hayley's missing you."

"You don't want to go home do you?"

"Not really. I had a… for lack of a better term, a 'freak out' and I ran off. I know they just want to look out for me but they can be a little overbearing at times."

"I'm always there if you need to talk."

I gave him a grateful smile and got up, taking the case with me. I headed back to the Mikaelson house. My mind was no clearer but I couldn't delay any longer. I had children who needed looking after, a family who would be missing me. My own problems could wait, like always.

I got back to the house and let myself into the courtyard. Kol was there with the girls, playing happily with them. He looked up as I entered but didn't speak, just gave me a brief smile. At least he understood the crowding issue.

"You all okay?" I asked. I felt really bad for running off and leaving the girls. I couldn't let my emotional breakdowns get in the way of my parenting.

"We're good. Are you…?"

"I'm fine. Just needed to take a walk, clear my head you know?"

"I get it. You don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I'm here if you need me." He turned away and scooped Blair up in his arms, smiling at her. "Do you want to join us? We're having a tea party."

"That sounds lovely. Give me a minute and I'll join you."

I went upstairs to my room, intending to stash the case somewhere. I knew if Klaus found it, he'd open it and it would ignite his paranoia. He'd go crazy thinking that everyone was out to get him again.

I locked the door, surveying the mess I'd left. Broken glass, shattered porcelain and splattered blood formed a carpet across the floor. I sighed softly and headed over to the bed.

"You look like shit."

I lifted my head to see Lucien once again reclining on my bed.

"You're not real."

"No I'm not. But I'm still here. And I will be as long as you think of me."

"Yes, I know we've covered this."

"And you're not throwing things this time?"

"No. I have issues, yes, but either way, you're still dead and you can't actually do anything to me anymore, apart from harass me. So you're currently at the bottom of my priorities."

"I'm offended."

"Good."

I swept up the broken glass as best I could, cutting my fingers a few times in the process, before grabbing the case and lying on my stomach to hide it under the bed. I wriggled into the darkened space, expecting to get a face full of dust. Instead the floorboards appeared to have been swept clean. There was a strange musty smell in the air under the bed, a thick noxious scent that wormed its way up the nose. I frowned slightly but shrugged, reaching back for the case.

"You're really going to ignore me?"

"For as long as I can."

"You're no fun."

"You're becoming less threatening and more annoying by the minute. I guess in my head I see you as a pathetic bitchy man."

"Do you know what I regret? Not killing your children in front of you."

"And I regret not killing you myself. I regret even letting you into my life. I should have turned and run the second I first saw you. We learn to live with our regrets."

"Yes you should have. I mean, you honestly thought I wanted to be friends with you? Really? No one wants to be 'friends' with you Elena. You're not a person, you're a pawn, an object to be used to further other people's ambitions."

"The Mikaelson's care about me."

"Really? You think all they care about is taking care of you? Of being good parents?" He scoffed. "I'm a figment of your imagination Elena, I can only tell you things you already know or think."

I moved to sit up, intending to say something, yell at him maybe even though I knew it wouldn't really do anything. I slammed my head against the bottom of the bed and cried out in pain, dropping back down. I rested my head on the floor, rubbing the sore spot on the back of my skull. The smell was stronger now. Every time I breathed in, I felt bile sting my throat and had to repress the urge to vomit. I pulled my phone from my pocket, using the light to illuminate the tiny space. One of the floorboards was uneven, sticking up just a little bit.

"If you know my mind so well… you know what's going on under here?" I asked.

"I do. But I'm not telling you because it's more fun watching you squirm." I stuck my head out from under the bed. He was leaning over the edge to look down at me, smirking.

"You are a son of a bitch, even dead."

He blew me a kiss. I rolled my eyes and ducked back under the bed. I ran my fingers along the edge of the wooden board. The protrusion was only small, but enough for me to work my fingertips underneath. I pulled carefully. It gave a little but remained in place. Whoever had been fiddling with this had made sure it was firmly slotted back afterwards. I pried it up, working my fingers further underneath until I could pull it loose.

I pulled up the floorboard and set it aside. The smell was stronger and I could see something tucked away in the crevice below. I pulled at the floorboard beside the gap and managed to work it loose. I worked hard, removing floorboard after floorboard, ignoring the splinters that dug into my fingers until that was a large hole below me. I shone my phone into the hole.

"Well now," said Lucien. "This is very exciting."

* * *

 **A/N: Two cliffhangers in a row? I know, I'm mean.**


	36. Chapter XXXV

There was a knock at the door. I scurried out from under the bed and looked over.

"Elena, are you okay in there?"

Kol. I got to my feet and went over to the door.

"Yeah… I'm okay… I'm just feeling a little queasy. Can I take a rain check on the tea party?"

"Of course. Do you need anything?"

"No… I just need to sleep I think. I'll see you tomorrow!"

I waited until I heard his footsteps retreating before turning back to the bed. I didn't want to go back under there but I wasn't entirely sure I hadn't imagined things.

"You going back under there?" Lucien asked.

"I have to…"

I crawled back under the bed and peered down into the hole.

Inside were clothes, bundles of filthy clothes. All of them were thick with dried blood and dirt, the stench of which wafted off of them and up to my nose. I gagged and recoiled. Amongst the bundles was a large knife with a serrated blade. I stared in horror. I hadn't imagined things.

"How the fuck…?"

"Someone's been a very bad girl," Lucien said in a sing song voice.

"I didn't do this…"

"They're in your room, under your bed, in your house where you live. Sensing a theme here?"

"I… I would remember if I'd been stashing blood soaked clothes under my bed… I would… I would…"

I stared at the knife. I reached down hesitantly and picked it up. The weight felt right in my hand, familiar. I held it in front of my face, the metal reflecting my eyes back to me in a distorted way.

* * *

 _I was walking the streets of New Orleans. Every step I took, I felt the key in my pocket bump against my skin, reminding me of my failure. I hated myself. I hadn't been able to do it. I should have killed him. I should have. He deserved to die. Deserved to suffer for what he had done to me, done to Lilah, to Blair._

 _I felt tears on my cheeks. They weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of bitterness, anger and resentment. I was a failure. I didn't deserve my freedom._

 _My feet carried me to Tristan's building. I stopped outside, looking up at the lights in the windows. The very thought of him, alive up there, was eating away at me._

' _ **So what are you going to do about it?'**_ _a dark voice at the back of my mind whispered. My hand reached into my pocket and lightly fingered the key still tucked there. I took it out and held it in the palm of my hand. I could rectify this… it wouldn't be hard. I went to take a step but my legs wouldn't move._

' _ **Not yet… wait…'**_

 _I stood there, waiting in the shadows, the lamplight flickering overhead. Eventually the door opened and Tristan came out with Aurora. I watched as they headed down the street and disappeared from view. My feet moved of their own accord, guiding me inside the building and up into the elevator. The apartment door was unlocked, I guess Tristan wasn't one to fear robbery._

 _I went inside, moving slowly. My eyes fell on a cabinet with a number of drawers in it. I'd never really looked at them. I knew now wasn't really the time to explore but something drew me to the cabinet. I opened the first drawer and smiled to myself. Rows upon rows of knives, elegant blades set in deep velvet casing. I opened the next drawer and saw more of the same. I wondered how long they'd been there. Had Tristan had them the whole time? Had they come with this fancy apartment? Aya had said it used to belong to an antiques dealer. Maybe they were his._

 _I picked up a knife with an elaborate blade, curved and serrated, the handle made of reddish wood, varnished and inlayed with gold. I ran a finger along the edge, a sharp sting following as the skin split._

 _I went to the door and slid in the key, letting myself into Lucien's prison. He was sitting in the chair where I'd left him. His head turned slightly as I entered._

" _Elena…" He said, voice hoarse from the toxins in his blood. "Come to torture me further?"_

" _No. I've come to kill you."_

" _Really? Is this like last time when you tried to kill me? Because I'm all up for that."_

" _Not this time. This time you die. For good."_

 _I clenched my fist around the handle and stalked towards him. I was filled with resolve. Nothing would stop me this time._

 _As I advanced, Lucien's eyes widened as he seemed to realise that I was serious. He could see that something had changed. Something had snapped._

" _You think killing me will make a difference Elena?" he said, his voice tinged with panic. "You can kill me today and tomorrow there will be someone else, someone just as bad or worse! The Mikaelsons have a lot of enemies! You can't kill them all!"_

" _I can try."_

 _I reached over and sliced his throat open. Blood gushed out of the wound and I watched as he choked and spluttered. It wasn't enough. I stabbed him violently, the knife tearing through flesh with ease. Blood splattered on my face and chest._

" _See you in hell Lucien." I said as I drove my blade into his heart. I watched as his face turned grey, his skin desiccating in front of me. I looked down at his bloody body and felt satisfaction._

' _ **He's right… there are a lot of people out there… they'll hurt your children… unless you stop them…'**_

 _I ran my fingers over the bloodstained blade._

" _I can do it."_

* * *

I snapped back to reality.

"I killed them. How could I kill them and not know?" I felt sick. Those clothes. That knife. Staring at them, I saw them all. Every victim, each body I'd left in the streets. There was a scrap of paper in the hole and a cell phone. I reached out and picked it up. A list of names was written in neat lettering, some written in a different pen as though they'd been added later. A handful were crossed out.

* * *

 _I had left the room and entered the main room of the apartment. It wasn't just Lucien. There were bigger problems. I went into Tristan's office, my body guided by the strange sense of purpose dominating me. I'd asked him once how he knew all the Strix, how he kept track of them, and he'd shown me his ledger. It contained the name of every member of the organization. He said he'd turned a lot of them but even then he couldn't remember all of their names, however he considered it important, as a leader, to at least act like he did. Under each name was a phone number and beside each name was a sticky tab, dictating their last location._

 _I took my phone from my pocket and snapped a picture of each page, making sure I got every name that was identified as being in New Orleans. After that was done, I left Tristan's apartment as quickly as I could._

 _My feet, rather than taking me back to the Mikaelson house, took me to a phone shop. Within minutes I had a burner phone and was texting the first of the numbers on the list. I wanted to feel guilty for imitating Tristan, for luring his soldiers, but the persistent force that was driving me buried the thoughts at the back of my mind._

 _I waited quietly. A woman arrived, looking around for Tristan. I pulled the knife from my pocket, moving with a stealth I didn't know I possessed._

* * *

I stumbled back, over to the dresser where the broken mirror was propped up. I looked at my reflection and it looked back at me.

 _ **You understand now?**_

The voice was loud and clear but it wasn't Lucien's. It sounded like my own, but I hadn't spoken.

 _ **You need to protect the girls. You need to get rid of the bad people and make the city safe for them.**_

"I need to keep the girl's safe…"

That had always been the priority. It always would be. I had to keep them safe. This city, this world was swarming with monsters who would destroy us and I had to get rid of them.

But couldn't the Mikaelsons take care of us? Klaus, Elijah, Kol, they'd protect their children.

 _ **No. They'd try to protect them but only when it's already too late. And if they find out what you're doing they'll try to stop you.**_

"They want to help…"

 _ **They want to. But they can't.**_

"What do I do?"

 _ **You do what you have to do. What you need to do.**_

Tristan wasn't a threat. His soldiers… why was I hurting them? I was part of the Strix after all.

 _ **No. He might be their leader but they are each centuries old, trained and dangerous. They could kill you in a second and they were very interested in Lilah. Maybe… maybe Tristan is trustworthy but you can't guarantee his army won't act out… rebel… get bored.**_

She… I… it was right. I couldn't trust them. They had kidnapped my children as part of their messed up initiation. What was stopping them from doing that again? Tristan helped me but I knew that nothing came for free. I had to make the city safe for my girls. I had to protect them from everything evil and wicked that might seek to destroy our home.

I turned the knife over between my fingers reflectively.

"What are you going to do Elena?" Lucien asked. He seemed less real to me now. More ghost like than most of the ghosts I'd seen.

"I'm going to finish what I started Lucien. I'm going to end all of this."

I felt a peculiar sense of calm settle over my body. This was so much easier than I thought. I had to finish it. I'd sworn to protect my children and I would.

I picked up the list, running my fingers down them. So many names… I'd been taking my time, only killing one or two so that no one notice. So even I wouldn't notice. But now… the longer I left it, taking my time, the more likely it was that the Strix would realise the connection. I couldn't afford to stall any longer. I had to move, quickly.

"I'm going to finish this…" I murmured to myself.

But first…

I picked the case up from the floor where I'd left it and opened it. Five stakes. A wolf, a fox, a stag, a bear and a leopard. I ran my fingers over the smooth wood. Five stakes. Five lives. It wouldn't kill them, just stop them from interfering.

Could I do it?

Yes. I could. I would. I had to.

* * *

 **A/N: I know it's short and a bit jumpy. Sorry :/**


	37. Chapter XXXVI

The first challenge was working out how to go about my task. If any of the brothers got wind of what was happening, I wouldn't get another chance.

Elijah had to be first. As much as I hated the thought, he was the most protective of the others and the most likely to notice if something was going on. Klaus next. He'd be the biggest threat. And if he realised… well, that was something I didn't want to think about.

Rebekah third, then Kol. Finn last. I wasn't sure what to do about Freya but I'd have to deal with that issue when it came up.

I tucked away the stakes and headed silently out into the hall. I could hear Kol in with the girls. I didn't want them to see any of this…

"You're really going to go through with this?" Of course Lucien had followed me. The manifestation, or whatever he was, persisted no matter how hard I tried to block him from my mind.

"I have to."

"Huh… seems stupid to me… "

I hesitated outside Elijah's room, trying to keep my resolution firm.

"I don't care what you think."

"I AM you Elena. I am what you think. And as I've said all along, you're always putting your trust in the wrong people…"

 _ **Protect the girls. That is the priority. Do what you need to.**_

I hardened my heart and went to Elijah's room, knocking lightly before letting myself in. He was sat on his bed, legs stretched out in front of him and neatly crossed at the ankles. He was reading but as I entered, he set it down on the bedside table.

"Elena. Can I help you?"

"Do I need a reason to see one of my family?" I said, climbing up onto the bed.

"Well last time I saw you, you were… distressed? Putting it mildly."

"Last time I saw you, you were having an argument in Shakespeare. Which is really sad." He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer.

"I admit things got out of hand. Things have been tense between us for a while. Your absence was difficult on all of us."

"I'm back now."

"Physically…"

"What do you mean?"

"You've not really been… here, Elena. I know you need time and we're trying… but… you flinch anytime one of us makes too much noise or moves too fast… you get this look in your eyes like you're somewhere else entirely… we're worried about you."

"I know…" I pressed my face into his chest, breathing in his smell. I ran a hand across the front of his shirt, memorizing the feeling of the crisp fabric underneath my fingers. I slowly began to unbutton it, letting my hand lightly brush against the bare skin of his chest. Elijah stiffened slightly and halted my hand.

"This wasn't what I meant. I know you've been struggling… you don't have to rush it to make me feel better."

 _ **For the girls. Do it for the girls.**_

"I want to do this," I assured him. I kissed him lightly, my lips brushing against his, opening up his shirt. I moved so I was straddling his waist and leaned forward, running my fingers over the curve of his cheekbones. "Close your eyes."

He did as I said. He had no reason not to.

I pulled the stag headed stake from my pocket, took a long slow breath through my nose and brought the point over his heart. Could I do this?

 _ **Yes.**_

I thrust the point down sharply, ramming it into his chest. Elijah's eyes flew open and his arm shot up, clasping on my wrist. I expected him to struggle but he just looked at me, sadness and betrayal clouding his beautiful eyes. I felt the crunch of bone and his skin began to grey.

"Why…?" he managed. His hand went limp and his body stilled beneath me. I sat there for a moment, looking down at the body beneath me. I wanted to cry or throw up but the other part of me, that dark secret part that I was only just beginning to understand, kept me in check.

 _ **You can't afford to slow down now. Someone could find him. You won't get another chance. Keep to the plan. Klaus next.**_

"Yes… yes…" it was all I could manage to say.

I got to my feet and headed to the door, glancing back once before I could stop myself.

 _ **FOCUS!**_

I forced myself forward, leaving Elijah's room and carefully shutting the door behind me to make as little noise as possible. I didn't want to draw any attention to myself if possible. I crossed the landing to Klaus' study and let myself in without knocking. I knew that if he was in there painting, he'd likely ignore any attempts at contact from anyone. He had a habit of getting absorbed in his work.

"Elena. You really need to stop running off…" Klaus said softly. He was stood by the window, looking out. He didn't sound angry, he seemed… worn out?

"I know. I need to face my issues… etc etc… I've heard it all from Cami. And Elijah. And Jackson. And everyone else."

"No, I meant that you need to stop running off when there are serial killers loose in the city. We don't want to lose you again. It's not safe out there."

"Klaus, this city is full of murderers. And I live with five of them. Come on."

I saw him roll his eyes in the reflection of the glass and moved closer towards him. He was acting strangely, not like the Klaus I knew at all.

"So says Elena, the poster child of stability…" Lucien hissed in my ear, making me grimace. Klaus caught sight of my expression and he turned to face me.

"I'm sorry for earlier."

"It's fine."

"No it's not."

"Klaus, you're a volatile person, I know that. It's just who you are."

"You know I would never hurt you… right?" he asked, closing the space between us and taking my hands in his. "Never. I promise."

"I know that Klaus." Even as I said the words, I felt that uncertainty in my stomach. This would have been so much easier if he was behaving in his usual boorish manner…

"I want you to know how much I love you Elena. You've become pretty much everything to this family… you make us better. And I know nothing about this has been easy for you." He traced shapes on the back of my hand with his long, deft fingers. A loose curl of hair hung down in front of his eyes. He looked younger somehow, more vulnerable than I'd seen him before.

"I know how you all feel about me Klaus." I told him. I felt tears stinging my eyes. He was never going to trust me again after this…

I wrapped my arms around him, drawing him close. He pressed his head into the crook of my neck, his warm breath stirring the hair that hung around my throat. I stroked his hair gently, cradling him lightly. His skin was hot under my fingers, his chin baring a light layer of stubble. He smelt of blood, paint, dirt and damp leaves.

"I know you will always do what you think is best. For me, for the girls, for the whole family. But you have trust sometimes I know what's best too."

"I know. You're more capable than we admit… but you're so young. And breakable."

"Exquisitely breakable…" Lucien whispered. I suppressed a shudder.

"I can take care of myself. And the girls."

"But you don't have to. You have us."

"Sometimes that's not enough. And I'm sorry…" Klaus pulled back slightly, frowning. I held tight, keeping our bodies almost flush with one another. His hands moved down my spine to the small of my back. "I'm really sorry."

I pulled the stake out and stabbed it into his chest, angling it upwards to reach his heart. He stiffened in my arms, going limp surprisingly fast. His legs crumpled beneath us and his weight fell on me. I held the pair of us up, lowering him slowly to the ground. His face seemed to judge me, even though I knew that was impossible. He wasn't conscious, he couldn't have an opinion…

"You are such an idiot Elena. You really think you can take care of yourself? You won't last a week without them looking after you."

"Why do you care?" I asked, turning to face Lucien.

"I don't. I just wish I got the chance to kill you myself. Especially with you making it so easy…"

"Look, I know this isn't the best way to do things but I need time to recover. They all keep saying it. And I can't do it if I have to deal with Klaus flying off the handle or the brothers fighting. I just need some time to be me. Just me."

"Most people would go on a holiday."

"Most people don't have my life," I told him before sweeping out of the room.

* * *

It took me the rest of the evening to stake each of the originals. Each time it was a little more difficult to push the stake in but at the same time, I felt a sense of relief. It was like I was shedding layers of thick, heavy clothing, leaving me standing naked and free.

I still wasn't sure what I was going to do about Freya. She'd been taking care of the girls after I pulled Kol out of the room to 'talk' and I knew it was only a matter of time before she found one of her siblings. That was one problem. The second was what to do with the bodies. I couldn't leave them lying around the house for anyone to find. The girls might see them. I knew that Klaus probably had the family coffins tucked somewhere around here. If I could find them, I could take a leaf out of his book and tuck them away for a while until I felt better. But… dragging five bodies across the house was probably not going to be an easy task. Particularly if I had to avoid Freya in the process.

I sighed and leant against a wall. It was times like this that I really wished I had Ansel around to talk to. Then again… he'd probably stop me. Maybe. Who knew?

If I dealt with Freya first… maybe I could convince her to help me?

I left Finn's bedroom and went to the twins' bedroom. Freya was reading to them, her voice soft and soothing. They were already half asleep so I waited for her to finish and gestured for her to come with me.

"You feeling any better Elena?" she asked as we walked down the corridor. "I've not seen much of you today."

"I've been… busy. Sorry… there's been a lot going on. Like… a lot a lot."

"Oh? Is this to do with this morning's death by Shakespeare?"

"No. Although that was the weirdest thing I've seen in a long time. Actually, I have a problem and I was hoping you could help me? And… I'm sorry that I always seem to need a favour when I talk to you."

"It's fine. I'm happy to help. After you got rid of Dahlia, I owe you."

"We're family. You don't owe me." I smiled and touched her hand. I liked Freya. I really didn't want to hurt her…

I took her to Elijah's room. I knew if she saw Finn she'd be more likely to freak out. She frowned as I opened the door.

"Why are we going in here? Elijah likes his space… I don't want to intrude."

"It's fine. Come on."

I led her inside. Her footsteps slowed as she approached the bed and then stopped entirely as she took in Elijah's greyed form.

"Elena what happened?" Her voice rose in pitch and I could hear the fear clearly.

"I staked him."

"Wh… what? Why?"

"I had to. And now, I need you to help me put him and the others in their coffins. So they're safe."

"The others…?" Her eyes widened. "You staked them all?"

"I had to. I need to make the city safe for my children and they wouldn't let me do that. So I've just… put them to sleep for a little bit."

"You're crazy. I knew that you were upset and struggling but this… this is beyond… I have to wake them up."

She took a step towards Elijah's body.

"No!" My voice was clear and sharp and as I spoke, I felt a strange heat in my fingertips. My veins seemed to flow with energy, electricity that reached every inch of my body. Freya stopped in her tracks. "You are not going to do that. Not until I say. Understand?"

She turned and looked at me. Her eyes had a slightly glazed quality, her pupils dilated.

"I… I understand."

"Now, help me get the bodies into the coffins."

She nodded and silently went over to Elijah. We lifted him up and carried him downstairs. It didn't surprise me that the coffins were tucked away in the basement. We placed Elijah in one and then returned for the others, sealing them inside one at a time. I found some padlocks and chains to secure the basement door to make sure no one could get in. Freya didn't speak the entire time we were working. I wasn't sure why she was helping when she was clearly against it but I decided not to question it.

Once we had finished and returned to the courtyard, she looked at me with cold eyes.

"You have some serious explaining to do."

* * *

 **A/N: I'M BACK BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! I am very sorry for my extended hiatus but since my last update i have: written a novel, got a job, got a house and am finally beginning to be less depressed! i can't promise updates will be regular (especially as i have a holiday around europe in 2 weeks and then when i get back i'm moving into my new home) but i will try not to go so long next time. Famous last words...**


	38. Chapter XXXVII

Freya wasn't happy with the situation but I did manage to explain and get her to understand, after a little while. She reluctantly agreed to give me some time, under the condition that the siblings were restored as soon as possible and that I had to explain things to them when the time came. I could already foresee that would be a deeply unpleasant conversation.

After our talk, she promptly disappeared to get drunk at a dive bar outside of town. I didn't see much of her after that. I got the distinct impression she was avoiding me. I thought that I'd find things lonely but it was strangely peaceful, just me and the girls. The only thing was that being in the house made me somewhat uneasy. It felt wrong being in the Mikaelson house without them. I spent most of the day outside as much as possible, taking the girls for walks around the city.

We were in Jackson square. Lilah was watching an artist nearby while Blair was scampering around, chasing any pigeon that got too close, and clamouring to go and see the coach horses. I became aware of someone standing nearby and I lifted my head. Detective Kinney was a few feet away, coffee in each hand, and he smiled when I noticed him.

"Detective! How long have you been there?"

"Not long. And I told you Elena, you can call me Will." He gestured, silently asking if it was okay to sit. I nodded. He perched beside me and handed me one of the cups. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got a mocha?"

"Thanks…" I said, frowning slightly. How had he known he'd run into me?

He laughed awkwardly.

"I swear I've not been stalking you. I've just seen you sitting here the past few days and I figured I'd buy one, roll the dice and see if I got lucky," he explained.

I nodded slowly and sipped the drink.

"Are you keeping an eye on me because I'm a suspect?" I asked, my voice light and teasing.

"No, I promise."

We lapsed into a companionable silence, sipping our coffee while the girls played together nearby. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He was attractive, there was no denying that, in a rugged, almost messy kind of way. Toned body, ruffled hair, light stubble, dark eyes… I would never admit to having a type but well… my dating history kind of negated that.

"So… detective…" I began to say. He gave me a pointed look. "Sorry, force of habit. I was going to ask… tomorrow night, are you free Will?"

"I am…" he said, with a slight smile playing across his lips. "Why do you ask?"

"I'd like to take you up on that dinner… if you're still interested that is?"

Why was I doing this? I was meant to be taking time for myself… a break from domineering men to heal and sort my head out...

This doesn't mean anything. It's just dinner after all. A night off from the supernatural creatures, to relax and do something normal.

"I'd love to go for dinner with you, Elena."

"Great!"

"I'll meet you at… say… eight?"

"Six would be good." I glanced at my watch. "I should get these two home."

I got to my feet and called to the girls who came straight to me. Lilah eyed the detective warily and growled under her breath. I frowned and nudged her lightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow then Elena."

I gave him a small smile, took the girls by the hand and headed away from the square. I could feel Will's eyes on my back, watching me go. I glanced back and saw him turning away, phone to his ear.

The sweet syrup that flavoured the coffee was heavy on my tongue, cloying and making me feel slightly nauseous. Will was a nice guy, sweet and just… good. I wasn't used to that. Damon, Elijah, Kol, Klaus, Lucien, even Finn and Tristan. They were dark and relationships with them were tinged with bitterness, an acrid aftertaste.

"You're the one who keeps going back," said Lucien softly, falling into step beside me. "The one who always needs to have another taste. Face it Elena, sweet isn't you. It might have been once but not anymore… you crave the darkness. You need it."

I ignored him, guiding the girls back to the house. They had a session with Cami coming up and I resolved to ask her if she was free to babysit, as well as her thoughts on the whole thing. I liked Will, he was… simple. In a good way. And Klaus had said that I could live a more human life if I wanted. Going for dinner wasn't a bad thing. It didn't mean anything and even if it did, that was my business. I wasn't betraying the Mikaelsons by trying something different. It was just nice to have some say in who I got to spend time with for once!

So why did I feel… bad?

The girls went up to their room and I found myself drifting towards the basement door. I hesitated, hand resting on the handle. I shouldn't do this. It was just poking at a wound. I hated how confused I felt. Before Lucien had taken me, I wouldn't have felt so conflicted. I knew my own mind then.

"Really? You're blaming this on me?"

Okay maybe it had been longer. I'd not really been able to make decisions for myself since before I met Stefan. My life had twisted out of shape and become filled with people stronger than me, enemies that I had no chance of fighting and friends who wouldn't let me even try. Everyone thought they knew better than me…

I felt more resolved and turned away from the basement door. It was just dinner.

* * *

"You've said that five times now Elena and yet, you've changed dresses six times." Cami was sitting on my bed, watching me pace nervously up and down the room, discarding clothes as I went. It was almost eight and I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The twins were already tucked up in bed. Blair had gone to sleep quickly but Lilah had been oddly restless and reluctant to settle. We'd finally managed to quiet her so that I could get dressed.

"I know… I'm just… my brain is going haywire."

"Breathe. He's a nice respectable guy. Who we're fairly sure is not a vampire out to get you. You'll have a nice evening. Just get some food, chat… see what happens. There's no rule saying this has to be the start of something."

"I know that. I guess I just feel… guilty?"

"Because you staked your baby daddies and locked them in the basement? And are now going out on a date?" I made a face at her, sticking my head around the wardrobe door.

"I thought psychologists and that were meant to help people with problems?"

"They are. But for that we charge a lot more."

I rolled my eyes and began to change into the dress I'd picked out. My feet got tangled in the pile of discarded fabric and I almost fell. Cami sighed and came over to help, freeing me and pulling the dress over my head.

"Look, I know you're stressed but you do not need to be. You've spent years trying to protect your children, and before that you were trying to protect the Mikaelsons. And before that I'm sure you were dealing with some other crisis. You deserve a night off. And while I do think that your way of getting time to yourself was a bit extreme, we both know that if you'd gone out while Klaus was up and moving, he would definitely have stalked you, right?"

"A hundred percent. Him and Kol. They'd have spent the evening making vaguely threatening and perverted comments around Will…"

"There you go. Now, stop worrying, put some make up on, take advantage of the fact your family can afford the best clothes and get ready!"

I gave her a grateful look and focused on getting myself into a respectable condition. I had no idea where we'd be going so I'd settled on a deep green velvet dress with a short skirt. I momentarily wondered whether my bare knees ranked higher or lower than my bare back in Klaus' list of body parts I should keep covered.

I heard noise from the courtyard and went to the stairs. Will had let himself in and was stood, looking around. He was wearing grey trousers and a matching suit jacket, with a black shirt. He'd shaved and it looked like he'd attempted to tidy his hair, although not very successfully. Cami had followed me out of the bedroom and reached over to give my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Hey Will. I'll be right down," I called.

"Have a good night." Cami said, giving me a hug. "Give me a call if you're… going to be late back."

I swatted her lightly and went down the stairs. Will smiled at me.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you," I said, blushing. I felt like a teenager, nervous and giddy with excitement at the same time.

We headed out and strolled along the crowded streets to the restaurant Will had picked. As we walked we chatted pleasantly. Will told me about his sister and his parents. I did my best to talk about my own family in a way that made my situation sound as normal as possible. He asked about Mystic Falls and I happily answered his questions.

The conversation was flowing easily and only faltered when we'd reached the restaurant and the waitress interrupted to take our order.

"Can I see some ID?" she asked me when Will suggested we split a bottle of wine. I fished it from my pocket and handed it over. Will glanced at it as I did so and his expression took on an element of uncertainty.

"You're 23?" he said once the waitress had gone.

"Yeah. Is that going to be an issue?"

He fidgeted and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Not an issue… just… I'm almost forty. I'm feeling a bit like a cradle snatcher."

I had to resist the urge to laugh. I'd dated men who were literally thousands of years old. Worrying about our age difference seemed silly in comparison.

I reached over and touched his hand lightly.

"It's just dinner, Will. I don't mind it but if it's a problem for you, you never have to see me again. But I would still like to have a nice meal with you tonight. So… are you alright to park that particular problem? For the time being at least?"

"That sounds reasonable."

I hoped he meant it and wouldn't get too bogged down on the age difference. Even if nothing happened, I wanted to be friends. He was intelligent and charming in a distinctly human way and the more time I spent talking with him the more relaxed I felt. I felt less and less like Elena Mikaelson, queen of New Orleans, or Elena Castle, prisoner and plaything of a sadist. I was Elena Gilbert again.

We ate and drank and once we'd finished our meal, we found ourselves wandering aimlessly by the water. Neither of us were particularly anxious to go home. Cami had texted to reassure me everything was going okay with the twins so I had no reason to rush. I found myself opening up more and more, telling him things about myself. I realised that even though I'd spent time with the siblings, it had never been like this. There were things about me that they didn't know, not because they were a secret but because they'd never spent the time to ask. Talking with Will let me think about my future. Before I'd always assumed I'd graduate high school, go to college… I'd thought about being a doctor or a writer. All of that had been put on hold and even though I had the chance now, being around vampires made time seem… different. Nothing changed for them, life just went on so why should they worry about moving forward? I'd been stagnating…

Our walk brought us back to the Mikaelson house and Will stopped outside.

"I suppose we should say goodnight…"

"I guess so…"

He glanced up at the windows, almost warily.

"I'm not going to get yelled at by your family for keeping you out too late am I?"

"I'm a grown woman, I can stay out as late as I like." He laughed softly.

"Yes but I got the distinct impression they were very protective… and that they didn't like me much."

"They don't like anyone. But they're… out of town at the moment. You're safe."

He smiled slightly.

"Well that's alright then…" He hesitated and then reached over to brush some hair from my face. "I had a good time tonight Elena. I'd like to see you again… if that'd be okay with you?"

"I'd like that. A lot." I felt myself flushing and looked down at my feet. I wasn't sure if it was because of the wine but I felt warm all over. Everything felt right, the flickering light of the lanterns, the strains of jazz music in the near distance.

"If your family aren't here… does that mean I can get away with kissing you?"

I bit my lip and stood on my tiptoes to reach him. For a moment, I saw the siblings in my head and I hesitated. Will closed the gap and kissed me softly, before pulling back.

"Good night Elena. See you soon."

* * *

 **A/N: STILL YOUR ANGRILY TYPING FINGERS! For the six of you still reading, this story is still an Originals fic and as the last part of the trilogy, it actually has a happy ending planned. But I need this story line. Just bear with me. You held on for three years with the first part, you have held on with me being wildly erratic and depressed and going on hiatus. You can deal with a bit of Elena/Will! It's just temporary.**


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